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Clips from The Office - Junior Salesman (S09E09)

"No, I heard you got in trouble."
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"Um, hey, say hi to Alyssa."
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"Listen, they're cracking down on us"
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"Hey, so I hear you're bringing in some people"
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"Oh, did I?"
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"Wallace is letting me hire a junior sales associate"
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"to sit at Jim's desk while he's away in Philly."
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"You don't understand the difference"
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"I scored Stone and Son Suit Warehouse with you, and God knows,"
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"I went above and beyond--"
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"and under."
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"You know what?"
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"Clark has no chance."
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"you'll puke your pants."
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"Things are a little delicate with me and Pam right now."
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"And if my working in Philly"
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"That's a full season of Homeland."
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"I'm Rolf."
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"Let's do this. Sorry, Rolf goes first."
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"When you're with the R-O-L-F"
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"[Laughs] Nice."
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"Rolf is my best friend,"
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"and he is the man."
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"Just try and rattle Rolf. I dare you."
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"When are you talking to David Wallace?"
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"Thanks, guys."
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"Well, a lot of that information is private."
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"How do I know you're qualified to evaluate me?"
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"I've worked here for 12 years."
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"I won salesman of the year."
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"I think I've heard everything I need to hear."
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"Wait, wait, wait, no, I mean, if you need to know more,"
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"Ooh, okay."
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"Didn't see that one coming."
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"Maybe we can circle back around to it."
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"or a self-starter?"
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"No, no, and no."
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"Checkmate."
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"Do you validate parking?"
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"Hey, Jim, do you mind"
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"- Oh, Dove Men. - Nice."
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"Sure, yeah. Do whatever you need to do."
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"What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen?"
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"- I knew it, I knew it. - Yeah, good nose."
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"I looked at you coming around, and I said, "wintergreen.""
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"Okay, here's one."
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"You can't rebate the sales price"
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"because you brokered the deal for a third party."
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"- Yep. - Think, Dwight, think."
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"I just Kobayashi Maru'd the whole process."
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"- No. - Yeah."
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"and they're all better than the losers who work here."
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"Just don't wanna make assumptions"
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"Of course not. But does physical appearance include smell?"
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"If I ever get that bad, you'd tell me, right?"
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"Mose could make a great paper salesman."
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"He's got a natural fear of paper,"
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"which would motivate him to get as much of it"
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"out of this office as possible."
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"It says here on your resume that you spent"
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"the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical."
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"That's right."
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"So how'd you guys hear about the position?"
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"Dwight called my house, but he didn't realize"
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"You were in the shower or he was in the shower?"
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"I was his babysitter, and then we dated for a while."
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"Dogs understand where I point."
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"scrubbing tubs, sewing imitation levi's."
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"A lot of telemarketing."
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"Imagine the whole world does not revolve around this."
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"where a weirdo was allowed to bring in weirdos."
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"I was just thinking that because this person"
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"Jim, another thing. Since we are gonna have to hire"
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"Okay. I can't say that that's not fair."
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"Sounds fair to me, David."
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"And I know we have a call scheduled for later--"
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"It's okay. Go ahead, Jim."
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"- to be a core investor-- - Okay."
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"Jim, I'm gonna have to stop you right there."
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"[Whispers] I'd love to invest."
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"No, thanks."
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"I'd like to give you $100 million."
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"[Snickers]"
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"[Phone ringing]"
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"Yeah."
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"Whoops."
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"Dwight, you can't just hire someone"
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"These people are the best of the best."
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"Your friends are like Spiderman,"
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"Do you want this paper?"
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"Stop trying to get my paper, buddy."
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"Okay, read my lips. It's over."
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"That was great."
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"- I am. - Okay."
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"[Sighs]"
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"And I have a business degree from Tokyo University."
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"This isn't gonna work out."
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"Nate is a proven entity, but not without his handicaps..."
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"And yet I'm hesitant."
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"Why I can't I pull the trigger on any of them?"
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"I just need to tell them."
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"No, you've been towed by now."
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"And no matter who you choose, we're still gonna be your friend."
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"Yeah, whether it's me or Troy Underbridge,"
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"I wish I could hire all of you."
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"Psst, Jim?"
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"Jim, turn around."
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"Jim, turn around. Jim, turn around."
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"Just act natural."
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"And I was thinking it's only fair that you"
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"I knew it."
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"at how qualified everyone was. You?"
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"so you have no say."
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"How could you do this to them?"
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"- Too much now. - Okay."
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"Do we get our resumes back or do you keep them?"
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"and I have a chili recipe on the back"
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"Okay, this is an outrage."
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"This is Jim Halpert's home address, in case you guys wanna"
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"That seems inconsiderate."
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