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Clips from The Office - Junior Salesman (S09E09)

"Don't open any suspicious packages you may receive."
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"Totally safe."
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"Guys, it wasn't up to me."
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"[Yells] And what are we supposed to do until then?"
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"Yeah. No limit on weapons class, right?"
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"Trust me, this is the least of all evils."
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"so you should be thrilled, considering."
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"Of course."
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"Hey, Pam, I'm going to the kitchen."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"Wanna haze the new guy?"
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"Okay, yeah, I know what to do. Okay."
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"- Aah! - No!"
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"- No, Dwight! - Aah!"
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"The people around you are basically"
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"who you end up spending your life with."
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"I mean, because of where my desk was,"
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"Hey, Brian, you got a sec?"
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"Yeah. I know what you're gonna say."
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"It's-- it's all right."
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"- I feel awful. - It's fine."
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"It was my first slipup"
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"Dunder Mifflin. This is Erin."
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"Well, thanks for being a good friend."
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"Sure, anytime. Uh, how about you and Jim?"
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"- Everything squared away? - Yeah, mostly."
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"Pam, phone call."
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"- Will do. - Okay. Thank you."
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"Sure."
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"- Hey, boomguy. - Oh, hey, Meredith."
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"When are you gonna boom me?"
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"talking to the subjects."
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"It's a lame rule, but, you know, I wanna--"
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"to interview for the sales job?"
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"That's right, a couple of old friends."
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"Must be this cool to ride."
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"Well, uh, see, you raised it."
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"Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses.""
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"You know what, man? I deserve this job."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"You're gonna get your interview, okay?"
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"I know that you're going head-to-head against some real superstars,"
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"but you got a really good chance."
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"I mean, he's up against my buddy Rolf, for God's sake."
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"And Trevor-- he'll make you laugh so hard,"
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"This sucks, you know?"
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"You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company,"
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"and what do they do?"
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"Big changes coming to the old desk clump."
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"No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight."
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"Now it is Dwight and a friend axis against Pam."
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"You could've just called that an alliance too, right?"
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"I chose my words very carefully."
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"that's only gonna make things worse."
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"You interviewing for the sales job too?"
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"No. You're interviewing for it."
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"I'm getting it."
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"Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that."
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"as we've seen."
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"Rolf Ahl."
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"Rolf Ahl?"
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"Sounds kinda like Roald Dahl."
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"Go to hell."
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"There he is."
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"- Hey. - Come on, buddy."
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"You don't compare."
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"you're literally rolling on the laughing floor."
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"Cool, calm, and collected 24/7."
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"Such a sweet guy."
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"I'm talking to him this afternoon, but don't get your hopes up."
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"Last week, my company in Philly lost a big investor,"
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"so we're scrambling to find new funding."
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"me asking the boss of the company I'm abandoning"
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"to give us a gigantic influx of cash."
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"So... problem solved."
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"And this chair's gonna be yours."
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"And this desk. Ha!"
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"No doy!"
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"I'm just gonna call you back. Thanks."
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"[Dwight knocking on desk]"
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"because I don't do earbuds."
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"[Laughs]"
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"No earbuds!"
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"[Both laugh]"
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"[Sighs]"
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"It's just a seating arrangement. Doesn't matter."
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"So I've got your resume here"
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"but it's not telling me everything."
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"Well, I'm the one offering the job."
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"you can call David Wallace. I'm sure he'd give a reference."
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"Thank you, Dwight. I'll be in touch."
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"But Trevor's next, and he's a real professional."
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"You say, "jump," and he says, "on who?""
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"He loves to jump on people, that Trevor."
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"What makes you think you'd be an effective paper salesman?"
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"for a potential paper salesman."
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"All right."
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"Do you see yourself as more of a team player"
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"There were only two options."
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"Nothing gets by this guy."
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"Sure, yeah, go ahead."
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"Thanks, dude."
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"You-- you sure it's okay? 'Cause you're kinda--"
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"Yeah, absolutely."
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"You're clean, right?"
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"Music. Do you listen to it in earbuds?"
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"not a Florence and the Machine concert, so--"
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"Yeah, could I just have a minute to prepare for this?"
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"Right after you do one thing for me."
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"I need you to breathe in my face."
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"Why?"
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"I need you to breathe in my face right now."
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"[Exhales]"
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"I can't hire Clark."
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"Yeah, he looks like a Schrute,"
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"A customer who ordered enough paper to qualify"
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"to return half the stock."
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"or credit for future purchases"
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"That's just a classic no-win situation."
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"- Thank you. - So I'd Kobayashi Maru it."
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