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Clips from Broad City (2014) - Fattest Asses (S01E01)

"You know that I'm 25, right?"
Broad City (2014)
"Abbi, you are ageless."
Broad City (2014)
"That's a different thing. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, so what's this thing you're doing tonight?"
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, so remember my hot rich friend from NYU, Parker? Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"and I know you're not gonna want to go, but I have to,"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, I wanna go."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God, I thought I'd have to go through"
Broad City (2014)
"That's dope, dude. Perfect opportunity to introduce, like, the new me."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah. No more Mr. Nice Abbi,"
Broad City (2014)
"no more... no more cleaning up other people's pubes."
Broad City (2014)
"And, you know, getting screwed by people"
Broad City (2014)
"that end up not having cancer."
Broad City (2014)
"No, I'm stepping... I am stepping it up."
Broad City (2014)
"If anyone's gonna pretend like they have cancer,"
Broad City (2014)
"You know what? I look too nice."
Broad City (2014)
"You look really nice, yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh. Let's go shopping."
Broad City (2014)
"First one's fine, I think. Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Your ass looks incredible. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"And your head and body, too. Thanks."
Broad City (2014)
"But we all know who's the star of the show here. Ilana."
Broad City (2014)
"That's real."
Broad City (2014)
"There."
Broad City (2014)
"You know what? It's good."
Broad City (2014)
"This is a great day."
Broad City (2014)
"Let me ask you a quick question."
Broad City (2014)
"I will see you in 30 days, then."
Broad City (2014)
"Bitch!"
Broad City (2014)
"You still need to sign the receipt."
Broad City (2014)
"I would love to do that."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"'Cause we have, like, the fattest asses, you know?"
Broad City (2014)
"Like, we're the most -able."
Broad City (2014)
"I love your dress."
Broad City (2014)
"Thank you so much, I literally just bought it."
Broad City (2014)
"So cute."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God, there's Parker."
Broad City (2014)
"Parker, hey."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana Wexler."
Broad City (2014)
"We were roommates for a second."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God, Ilana, you're so cute."
Broad City (2014)
"So what's this party for? It's amazing."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Ciao, Rodrigo!"
Broad City (2014)
"You know, like that's robot me and this is real me."
Broad City (2014)
"Let's get drunk. Yeah, yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, cool. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Move, honk, honk."
Broad City (2014)
"Pardon me."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, five-nine, I can't even, like, deal with you right now."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, do you guys all have drinks already?"
Broad City (2014)
"Maybe you should, then, get the hell away from the bar, great."
Broad City (2014)
"Is anyone even working at this bar?"
Broad City (2014)
"The West Nile Coolatta is very popular,"
Broad City (2014)
"on the beach" or "The tsunami slide.""
Broad City (2014)
"Well, 6% of the proceeds go to the tsunami."
Broad City (2014)
"Whichever one happens next."
Broad City (2014)
"Some mac and cheese ball fried and truffoiled."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, yeah. I am saying yes to that."
Broad City (2014)
"Just now a child in South America died of starvation."
Broad City (2014)
"Let's go, buddy!"
Broad City (2014)
"We got people with full bladders out here."
Broad City (2014)
"No, no, no."
Broad City (2014)
"Not today!"
Broad City (2014)
"Well, well, well."
Broad City (2014)
"This church bell techno song still has 27 minutes left."
Broad City (2014)
"When it's done, can you play, like,"
Broad City (2014)
"We've been asked to play whale songs,"
Broad City (2014)
"You know, I can't, like, move my damn ass to this?"
Broad City (2014)
"You know what I mean? It's like..."
Broad City (2014)
"Bad music."
Broad City (2014)
"Cool. I like that "I Dream of Jeannie" hair."
Broad City (2014)
"Ew. Hey!"
Broad City (2014)
"I've cleaned more pubes than you have on your entire body."
Broad City (2014)
"I look at you for a second, I can tell you got no pubes."
Broad City (2014)
"I know when I'm right."
Broad City (2014)
"Damn right I'm right!"
Broad City (2014)
"I should probably give you some cash"
Broad City (2014)
"'cause I've coked a lot of this."
Broad City (2014)
"It's the truth."
Broad City (2014)
"But tonight, it's like, what could tonight lead to?"
Broad City (2014)
"Like, my friend Abbi... she's... Hang on."
Broad City (2014)
"You got a friend?"
Broad City (2014)
"Who's a female?"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, chocolate brown eyes, ass of an angel."
Broad City (2014)
"Um, where's she at?"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ You're now under the influence ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ So it must be..."
Broad City (2014)
"Ab!"
Broad City (2014)
"like, cute, but like douchey but cute and..."
Broad City (2014)
"- What's going on? - Hey."
Broad City (2014)
"Ho, whoa. Ooh."
Broad City (2014)
"That is some soft skin right there."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, like, normal stuff."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, like Occitane?"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, oh you, yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"You guys, we need to get the hell out of here."
Broad City (2014)
"Let's do it. Oh, you guys are..."
Broad City (2014)
"You're working, you gotta spin."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay. Let's go."
Broad City (2014)
"Bye, guys."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, just a couple more, I think."
Broad City (2014)
"Welcome. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"How do you do this every day?"
Broad City (2014)
"You guys have a really great apartment."
Broad City (2014)
"So many cool pieces."
Broad City (2014)
"Great, like, cabinets and..."
Broad City (2014)
"Right, enough."
Broad City (2014)
"Later."
Broad City (2014)
"Oops."
Broad City (2014)
"That's too many."
Broad City (2014)
"You wanna? Yeah, sure, okay."
Broad City (2014)
"That's my art. Oh, cool."
Broad City (2014)
"That's a little embarrassing."
Broad City (2014)
"That's my grandfather's sweater."
Broad City (2014)
"Sure."
Broad City (2014)
"He was, like, my best friend, you know?"
Broad City (2014)
"We did tons of stuff together."
Broad City (2014)
"He taught me how to fish, skip stones, whittle."
Broad City (2014)
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