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Clips from Broad City (2014) - Fattest Asses (S01E01)

"Can you throw on some sweats?"
Broad City (2014)
"It's insane."
Broad City (2014)
"and just go home with them."
Broad City (2014)
"You guys made us walk up eight flights of stairs,"
Broad City (2014)
"weirdos."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm happy with it."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm pissed though guys, like, thought they had to trick us."
Broad City (2014)
"Just for, like, the Arc de Triomphe, that's it."
Broad City (2014)
"It's when two dudes go down on us, this is how I picture it."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, I see, I see now."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm being sarcastic. Oh, yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, Yevgenya. Hey."
Broad City (2014)
"I love your braids. Thank you."
Broad City (2014)
"Here to wax the usual spots?"
Broad City (2014)
"Yep, you know it. Okay, follow me."
Broad City (2014)
"Like a week."
Broad City (2014)
"No, it's been, like, three weeks."
Broad City (2014)
"My body's learned."
Broad City (2014)
"Whoa."
Broad City (2014)
"Abbi, this one is a great idea."
Broad City (2014)
"Maybe draw it up?"
Broad City (2014)
"Abbi, there is a hot couch on the corner of 4th and Avenue C."
Broad City (2014)
"Do you need a couch? I'm e-mailing you pics."
Broad City (2014)
"I thought maybe we could each get one."
Broad City (2014)
"So text me back if you don't want a turtle."
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, Ab, never mind about that umbrella idea."
Broad City (2014)
"I forgot there's raincoats, duh."
Broad City (2014)
"Abbi, hey, girl, do me a favor."
Broad City (2014)
"What's this song?"
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, guys, so sorry to interrupt, but Zandir,"
Broad City (2014)
"your instructor has actually been missing"
Broad City (2014)
"for the last 48 hours."
Broad City (2014)
"And Bryce, his sub, is also missing."
Broad City (2014)
"So power slide has been canceled for today,"
Broad City (2014)
"of free sliding, okay?"
Broad City (2014)
"Slide and glide is all I have."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know. I work here and I'm already at the front"
Broad City (2014)
"of the class, so maybe I... I could lead."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, everyone doesn't need to chime in, but,"
Broad City (2014)
"I would absolutely love to be your instructor."
Broad City (2014)
"Hi, hi."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, it's always been a dream of mine"
Broad City (2014)
"to teach a class in this gym."
Broad City (2014)
"gets their money's worth, 'cause, like, I'm..."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm pretty close to being a legit instructor, so..."
Broad City (2014)
"I would really love to do this, you know."
Broad City (2014)
"I mean, while I'm still here."
Broad City (2014)
"You should teach it."
Broad City (2014)
"Great, let's do this. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Dude, what do you think is worse?"
Broad City (2014)
"Diarrhea, I'm like, okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Uh, Ilana, you think you could do me a favor"
Broad City (2014)
"Then why did I spend hours"
Broad City (2014)
"stapling all these documents together?"
Broad City (2014)
"I even ran out halfway through to buy more staples."
Broad City (2014)
"And we have a cabinet full of staples here."
Broad City (2014)
"In fact, I specifically said, please, don't staple these."
Broad City (2014)
"The same piece of paper."
Broad City (2014)
"Come on, faster!"
Broad City (2014)
"What's wrong with you people?"
Broad City (2014)
"Faster!"
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, how come every time I e-mail you,"
Broad City (2014)
"I am so overworked."
Broad City (2014)
"We all are."
Broad City (2014)
"Why, Todd?"
Broad City (2014)
"So I can be another cog in your machine?"
Broad City (2014)
"What's my e-mail gonna be?"
Broad City (2014)
""Business at the white man dot biz"?"
Broad City (2014)
"What's wrong with my personal e-mail?"
Broad City (2014)
"It's [email protected]."
Broad City (2014)
"How do you not see that that's inappropriate?"
Broad City (2014)
"To remind every client immediately of a vagina?"
Broad City (2014)
"Nice work."
Broad City (2014)
"You need to work harder."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm gonna be on your ass."
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, Janice, can I speak with you for a second? Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, you're not an official instructor here,"
Broad City (2014)
"but the way you took initiative today was very solstice."
Broad City (2014)
"Would you ever consider being a sub?"
Broad City (2014)
"They found Bryce and Zandir."
Broad City (2014)
"They're dead."
Broad City (2014)
"Thank you, Jenna."
Broad City (2014)
"Can you start today?"
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know, I mean, it wasn't as much fun"
Broad City (2014)
"as I thought it would be."
Broad City (2014)
"But sure."
Broad City (2014)
"Great."
Broad City (2014)
"Now, this a sensitive question,"
Broad City (2014)
"but would your sickly body allow for that?"
Broad City (2014)
"I can't afford to lose another teacher."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm sorry, I don't follow."
Broad City (2014)
"Don't be ashamed. Oh, no."
Broad City (2014)
"No, no, no."
Broad City (2014)
"Me and my bandmates, we shaved our heads"
Broad City (2014)
"to raise awareness for our band."
Broad City (2014)
"We're going on tour. Oh, cool."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh Abbi, hey,"
Broad City (2014)
"but we could really use some Abbi magic."
Broad City (2014)
"There's a pube situation in the locker room that is..."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, when there's a pube situation,"
Broad City (2014)
"you call on old Abbi."
Broad City (2014)
"When there's something that actually matters,"
Broad City (2014)
"you just go another way."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, this thing that you brought in for company morale?"
Broad City (2014)
"It's very distracting."
Broad City (2014)
"Everybody loves it. Everybody hates it!"
Broad City (2014)
"Well, then I'd like to transfer to corporate morale."
Broad City (2014)
"Corporate morale is not a department!"
Broad City (2014)
"It doesn't exist!"
Broad City (2014)
"God!"
Broad City (2014)
"Everybody's really riding my ass today."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know how you keep such a happy face on."
Broad City (2014)
"Day 274."
Broad City (2014)
"Five hours late, wearing a napkin as a shirt,"
Broad City (2014)
"violently high."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm becoming a corporate yes man."
Broad City (2014)
"Whatever you say, Mr. George Bush."
Broad City (2014)
"Dick Cheney, go easy on me, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"and my life's gonna be behind me."
Broad City (2014)
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