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Clips from Broad City (2014) - The Last Supper (S01E01)

"So, uh, I know that B-Z, Beyonce and Jay-Z,"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, wait! Are-- Are you Beyonce or Jay-Z?"
Broad City (2014)
"Part of me feels like I would be Jay-Z,"
Broad City (2014)
"I'm Jay."
Broad City (2014)
"I understand you lovely ladies will be having"
Broad City (2014)
"Excellent. Before we get started,"
Broad City (2014)
"No, none that I, uh, want to share with you."
Broad City (2014)
"of you guys tonight."
Broad City (2014)
"and one of those things that in the bathroom"
Broad City (2014)
"You have no proof that she-- Are you kidding me?"
Broad City (2014)
"Salmon, we got onion rings, we got a gumbo."
Broad City (2014)
"it is blowing my mind."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, I just feel, like, really good inside."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, well, it's my pleasure."
Broad City (2014)
"Clams Persimmico in a gold leaf glaze."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, hello, my fancy girl--"
Broad City (2014)
"and then a condom fell out of me."
Broad City (2014)
"Has it happened to you? No."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay. That's a good idea."
Broad City (2014)
"this birthday is a maje improvement"
Broad City (2014)
"Want a hit?"
Broad City (2014)
"I think that's turtles."
Broad City (2014)
"She was for real. I know that it was a cartoon."
Broad City (2014)
"No worries."
Broad City (2014)
"You know who was mine? Stimpy."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, hold on, are you okay?"
Broad City (2014)
"I really know my body, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"I go up to the edge and then I scale it back."
Broad City (2014)
"I haven't even told you yet"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God."
Broad City (2014)
"Don't forget whose name is on the lease."
Broad City (2014)
"All right."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm gonna. I'll be right back."
Broad City (2014)
"until I came to this really fancy restaurant"
Broad City (2014)
"so, no, I wasn't keeping track."
Broad City (2014)
"Something just fell out of my body,"
Broad City (2014)
"Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Listen, we are here"
Broad City (2014)
"It had to have been the condom"
Broad City (2014)
"from the other night with boring Ben,"
Broad City (2014)
"You could have sworn what?"
Broad City (2014)
"I mean, your body is a temple."
Broad City (2014)
"No, no! Ilana, take the pen."
Broad City (2014)
"I just stabbed myself!"
Broad City (2014)
"drop you off at a mental hospital?"
Broad City (2014)
"Sorry."
Broad City (2014)
"Ohh!"
Broad City (2014)
"After tonight, I realized"
Broad City (2014)
"There's a lot on here."
Broad City (2014)
"To be held in Abbi's arms."
Broad City (2014)
"You carried me."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah. Guess I'm pretty strong."
Broad City (2014)
"Blood pressure dropping."
Broad City (2014)
"Clear!"
Broad City (2014)
"I mean, if technology ever allows for it,"
Broad City (2014)
"Fun and cool and fresh?"
Broad City (2014)
"Well, I was gonna say awesome, but yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, my whole family does."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Definitely O.J."
Broad City (2014)
"Like, he was a 10. Oh, he was gorgeous."
Broad City (2014)
"All right, he's a 6."
Broad City (2014)
"but then I know that you would maybe want to be a dude."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, a bidet. A bidet."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know that she gave us bedbugs for sure,"
Broad City (2014)
"who will actually come see my band play."
Broad City (2014)
"what happens on "Homeland," you gross baby."
Broad City (2014)
"I need a tagliatelle with light sauce."
Broad City (2014)
"Anyway, like I was saying,"
Broad City (2014)
"then I could, like, I could sing really well."
Broad City (2014)
"Yum."
Broad City (2014)
"and you'll just stab me with an epi pen."
Broad City (2014)
"You've got to respect it."
Broad City (2014)
"We're not doing this anymore."
Broad City (2014)
"Yes, it's an allergic reaction to seafood."
Broad City (2014)
"we gotta get back into our bucket list, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"wearing a condom."
Broad City (2014)
"She never stole that!"
Broad City (2014)
"What did Doug say to you on the phone?"
Broad City (2014)
"I've never even worked at a restaurant this nice."
Broad City (2014)
"has made a reservation under Abbi Abrams for two."
Broad City (2014)
"This is perfect, thank you."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, I feel like he has a similar build to Lincoln."
Broad City (2014)
"I hope you die in your sleep."
Broad City (2014)
"To be an Asian girl."
Broad City (2014)
"Do you know who's at the top of my mom's gross sex list?"
Broad City (2014)
"It's amazingly delicious."
Broad City (2014)
"You guys are a kick."
Broad City (2014)
"All righty. You know, I'm gonna"
Broad City (2014)
"I got three to three and a half servings"
Broad City (2014)
"To be able to squirt."
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, ladies,"
Broad City (2014)
"Tramp's a cartoon."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my gosh. Ilana, Doug's calling."
Broad City (2014)
"I feel so alive right now!"
Broad City (2014)
"Hold up, though, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"Stop it. Give me a spin."
Broad City (2014)
"Totally."
Broad City (2014)
"Every once in a while, I like a finger."
Broad City (2014)
"of every dick that you are about to... host"
Broad City (2014)
"Inches? I thought we were rating them on hotness."
Broad City (2014)
"No, one more, one more."
Broad City (2014)
"Hello. My name is John."
Broad City (2014)
"Are you sure, Abbi?"
Broad City (2014)
"My underwear is filled--"
Broad City (2014)
"Support? Tell her to give back the laptop she stole."
Broad City (2014)
"Exactly, that's what they're for."
Broad City (2014)
"Did you pee it or poop it?"
Broad City (2014)
"jooge."
Broad City (2014)
"Yes, thank you, I need an ambulance"
Broad City (2014)
"Think about it. Air Bud - dead."
Broad City (2014)
"You have given yourself a truly"
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, my last one was, uh, David Blaine."
Broad City (2014)
"It's gonna raise my market value, like, so much."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, maybe not."
Broad City (2014)
"And how is everything so far?"
Broad City (2014)
"He's, like, so rubbery."
Broad City (2014)
"You're a condom girl."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, totally a 6. Yum!"
Broad City (2014)
"I think they might live longer than humans?"
Broad City (2014)
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