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Clips from Broad City (2014) - The Last Supper (S01E01)

Ohh.

"Ohh."

Broad City (2014)

Damn-a!

"Damn-a!"

Broad City (2014)

I've never been to a restaurant this nice.

"I've never been to a restaurant this nice."

Broad City (2014)

I read their molten lava cake is "life-changing."

"I read their molten lava cake is "life-changing.""

Broad City (2014)

Perfect for your birthday.

"Perfect for your birthday."

Broad City (2014)

Oprah says that your birthday dictates

"Oprah says that your birthday dictates"

Broad City (2014)

the kind of year you're about to have.

"the kind of year you're about to have."

Broad City (2014)

in order to be able to, like, really stuff myself

"in order to be able to, like, really stuff myself"

Broad City (2014)

with as much expensive food as possible.

"with as much expensive food as possible."

Broad City (2014)

and then emptying myself with laxatives.

"and then emptying myself with laxatives."

Broad City (2014)

Too well.

"Too well."

Broad City (2014)

Good evening, mademoiselles.

"Good evening, mademoiselles."

Broad City (2014)

Hi. Enchante, uh, monsieur.

"Hi. Enchante, uh, monsieur."

Broad City (2014)

My dad-- my father figure

"My dad-- my father figure"

Broad City (2014)

I believe his payment card should be on file.

"I believe his payment card should be on file."

Broad City (2014)

Please... do.

"Please... do."

Broad City (2014)

Would you care to keep your jacket, Madame?

"Would you care to keep your jacket, Madame?"

Broad City (2014)

I'm perfect.

"I'm perfect."

Broad City (2014)

Loving the temp.

"Loving the temp."

Broad City (2014)

ate here recently,

"ate here recently,"

Broad City (2014)

and, um, we would really love

"and, um, we would really love"

Broad City (2014)

Of course you would.

"Of course you would."

Broad City (2014)

I like him. Yeah.

"I like him. Yeah."

Broad City (2014)

So, where did, um, Beyonce sit

"So, where did, um, Beyonce sit"

Broad City (2014)

Uh, yes, Ms. Knowles sat here

"Uh, yes, Ms. Knowles sat here"

Broad City (2014)

and Mr. Carter sat here.

"and Mr. Carter sat here."

Broad City (2014)

Yes. That's why I love my job.

"Yes. That's why I love my job."

Broad City (2014)

Enjoy your meals. Thank you.

"Enjoy your meals. Thank you."

Broad City (2014)

You're right.

"You're right."

Broad City (2014)

Oh, yes. You're B, I'm Jay.

"Oh, yes. You're B, I'm Jay."

Broad City (2014)

I'll be your server tonight.

"I'll be your server tonight."

Broad City (2014)

Hi, John. Hi, John.

"Hi, John. Hi, John."

Broad City (2014)

the seafood prix fixe dinner this evening.

"the seafood prix fixe dinner this evening."

Broad City (2014)

are there any food allergies you'd like me to know about?

"are there any food allergies you'd like me to know about?"

Broad City (2014)

Yeah, peanut allergies are a really big deal.

"Yeah, peanut allergies are a really big deal."

Broad City (2014)

You gotta be careful, they can be so fatal.

"You gotta be careful, they can be so fatal."

Broad City (2014)

I actually meant if you have any food allergies

"I actually meant if you have any food allergies"

Broad City (2014)

you'd like me to know about.

"you'd like me to know about."

Broad City (2014)

Well, allow me to tell you about our first course.

"Well, allow me to tell you about our first course."

Broad City (2014)

that is topped with poached crab

"that is topped with poached crab"

Broad City (2014)

and then splashed with a really yummy ramp dressing.

"and then splashed with a really yummy ramp dressing."

Broad City (2014)

Oh, I love, um, chards.

"Oh, I love, um, chards."

Broad City (2014)

We like to say here that ramp

"We like to say here that ramp"

Broad City (2014)

is the truffle of onions.

"is the truffle of onions."

Broad City (2014)

It's a dumb little joke.

"It's a dumb little joke."

Broad City (2014)

We like to say that, too.

"We like to say that, too."

Broad City (2014)

That's funny.

"That's funny."

Broad City (2014)

Now have you guys been to Octavia before?

"Now have you guys been to Octavia before?"

Broad City (2014)

No, we are poppin' our cherry.

"No, we are poppin' our cherry."

Broad City (2014)

Wow.

"Wow."

Broad City (2014)

Well, you just let me do the driving.

"Well, you just let me do the driving."

Broad City (2014)

I'm gonna take excellent care

"I'm gonna take excellent care"

Broad City (2014)

je m'appelle John, and bonne anniversaire.

"je m'appelle John, and bonne anniversaire."

Broad City (2014)

I'm short and I can't speak English good.

"I'm short and I can't speak English good."

Broad City (2014)

you clean your butthole with.

"you clean your butthole with."

Broad City (2014)

He's so classy.

"He's so classy."

Broad City (2014)

Tell her fat ass to flag down a cab

"Tell her fat ass to flag down a cab"

Broad City (2014)

like a person.

"like a person."

Broad City (2014)

she can't be unsupervised. Jesus Christ, she's a grown woman.

"she can't be unsupervised. Jesus Christ, she's a grown woman."

Broad City (2014)

She can't be babysat her whole life, Cheryl.

"She can't be babysat her whole life, Cheryl."

Broad City (2014)

Well, thank you so much for the support.

"Well, thank you so much for the support."

Broad City (2014)

You need to wake up. What? You're crazy.

"You need to wake up. What? You're crazy."

Broad City (2014)

but I'm pretty damn positive.

"but I'm pretty damn positive."

Broad City (2014)

This is why I wanted you to go to Al Anon.

"This is why I wanted you to go to Al Anon."

Broad City (2014)

Amen.

"Amen."

Broad City (2014)

Nose, vagina, butthole.

"Nose, vagina, butthole."

Broad City (2014)

Enjoy, ladies.

"Enjoy, ladies."

Broad City (2014)

I had slightly above-average sex last night,

"I had slightly above-average sex last night,"

Broad City (2014)

I planned it so that we were doing it

"I planned it so that we were doing it"

Broad City (2014)

at the stroke of midnight, as I turned 26.

"at the stroke of midnight, as I turned 26."

Broad City (2014)

spiritual sexual experience.

"spiritual sexual experience."

Broad City (2014)

I'll be right back.

"I'll be right back."

Broad City (2014)

Ours, too, as well.

"Ours, too, as well."

Broad City (2014)

Mmm. So soft.

"Mmm. So soft."

Broad City (2014)

Bon appetit.

"Bon appetit."

Broad City (2014)

Thank you so much. This looks incredible.

"Thank you so much. This looks incredible."

Broad City (2014)

May I grab you another fork?

"May I grab you another fork?"

Broad City (2014)

and then I was going to the bathroom,

"and then I was going to the bathroom,"

Broad City (2014)

I peed it.

"I peed it."

Broad City (2014)

Why'd you immediately go there?

"Why'd you immediately go there?"

Broad City (2014)

I didn't poop it, dude.

"I didn't poop it, dude."

Broad City (2014)

Anal's on the menu.

"Anal's on the menu."

Broad City (2014)

I can't even believe that, like, I didn't notice it.

"I can't even believe that, like, I didn't notice it."

Broad City (2014)

I was, like, very present, you know?

"I was, like, very present, you know?"

Broad City (2014)

I don't know how he didn't notice it.

"I don't know how he didn't notice it."

Broad City (2014)

It happens to everybody.

"It happens to everybody."

Broad City (2014)

Not yet is what I meant to say.

"Not yet is what I meant to say."

Broad City (2014)

So what? You're a nasty bitch, who cares?

"So what? You're a nasty bitch, who cares?"

Broad City (2014)

All right. Let's go get high,

"All right. Let's go get high,"

Broad City (2014)

and then we can enjoy this clams Filipino even more.

"and then we can enjoy this clams Filipino even more."

Broad City (2014)

they don't take those clams?

"they don't take those clams?"

Broad City (2014)

You know, I know you're in your head, but...

"You know, I know you're in your head, but..."

Broad City (2014)

from last year's.

"from last year's."

Broad City (2014)

Hi.

"Hi."

Broad City (2014)

Thanks for the food.

"Thanks for the food."

Broad City (2014)

I don't prepare the food.

"I don't prepare the food."

Broad City (2014)

Every animal,

"Every animal,"

Broad City (2014)

from every movie we've loved as a kid,

"from every movie we've loved as a kid,"

Broad City (2014)

All 101 Dalmatians are probably dead.

"All 101 Dalmatians are probably dead."

Broad City (2014)

I guess Babe from "Babe" is dead.

"I guess Babe from "Babe" is dead."

Broad City (2014)

Pigs live longer than dogs.

"Pigs live longer than dogs."

Broad City (2014)

Tramp, from "Lady and the Tramp."

"Tramp, from "Lady and the Tramp.""

Broad City (2014)

I know that.

"I know that."

Broad City (2014)

Hey, and I know you didn't make the food,

"Hey, and I know you didn't make the food,"

Broad City (2014)

Uh... thanks.

"Uh... thanks."

Broad City (2014)

The world is good, dude.

"The world is good, dude."

Broad City (2014)

Your face is like really red

"Your face is like really red"

Broad City (2014)

and your eye is blowing up.

"and your eye is blowing up."

Broad City (2014)

Full disclosure:

"Full disclosure:"

Broad City (2014)

That's all we've been eating tonight.

"That's all we've been eating tonight."

Broad City (2014)

I'm good at it, honestly.

"I'm good at it, honestly."

Broad City (2014)

How do I not know that you're allergic to shellfish?

"How do I not know that you're allergic to shellfish?"

Broad City (2014)

I feel like I do.

"I feel like I do."

Broad City (2014)

You text me every time you take a dump.

"You text me every time you take a dump."

Broad City (2014)

I know about the pimple on your nipple

"I know about the pimple on your nipple"

Broad City (2014)

and I'm, like, the holder of your Social Security card.

"and I'm, like, the holder of your Social Security card."

Broad City (2014)

I have mystery, too.

"I have mystery, too."

Broad City (2014)

in our waiter's mouth sexually.

"in our waiter's mouth sexually."

Broad City (2014)

I feel like he only has sex on top of baby grands.

"I feel like he only has sex on top of baby grands."

Broad City (2014)

You know what? Maybe I should find a girlfriend

"You know what? Maybe I should find a girlfriend"

Broad City (2014)

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