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Clips from This Is Us - Pilot (S01E01)

"and I would really, really like to see the dance."
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"I will gag"
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"you dead with that towel."
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"Okay, okay."
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"You suck."
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"Got a sec, boss?"
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"Yeah. What's up?"
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"♪ Happy birthday to you ♪"
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"♪ Happy birthday ♪"
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"♪ I have triplets inside of me ♪"
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"- any idea? - Yeah, we do. Now shut up"
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"- and let your fat-ass wife go to sleep. - No."
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"No, no, no. Birthday tradition is birthday tradition."
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"I bet I can make that go away."
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"♪ Can't keep my hands... ♪"
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"At least, in second grade, you could... you could feel it."
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"We're all just sitting there, watching the launch,"
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"Maybe that's how I wound up as the Man-ny."
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"It's my sister."
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"Kate?"
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"Like, we are deep in the threes."
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"Like, how the hell did I get here?"
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"You have got to stop with the Challenger explosion."
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"whole dream life that I envisioned for myself."
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"I'm gonna lose the damn weight."
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"- Here you go. - Oh, yeah."
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"Thank you."
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"- are gonna have the same birthday? - I know."
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"Yeah."
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"Sorry."
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"but you can call me Doc or Dr. K,"
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"Take a breath for me, dear."
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"brought me up to speed on everything concerning your case."
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"This is some kind of bad joke,"
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"right? It is not, unfortunately."
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"Now, sweetheart, I'm gonna get straight to your first concern."
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"- Do you see me? I am 73 years old. - Yeah."
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"That means I don't run wind sprints as fast as I used to,"
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"but my faculties are otherwise completely intact."
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"There are days that I wish they weren't,"
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"because then I would retire and spend my remaining days"
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"All right?"
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"and my grandchildren, that I am up to the task."
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"- All right? All right. - Okay."
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"- Thank you. - All right."
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"Good."
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"Now, which one of you's pregnant?"
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"Let me take a little test. Sheket bevakasha!"
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"Jew!"
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"if I breastfed ya?"
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"Yeah? Here we go. Let's try to..."
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"- Hey, man. - What's up?"
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"Ryan Gosling would never do this crap."
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"Hi, Daddy!"
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"You want to play soccer?"
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"Uh, I think she's saving it for the second half."
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"Over, under, back through, baby!"
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"What? When?"
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"I, uh... I hired a guy."
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"It's the personal Amex, not the business Amex. I know,"
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"- I don't care about the Amex. - I know."
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"So you're gonna..."
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"- No. - Why not?"
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"So why'd you find him?"
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"Oh! Go!"
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"Way to go, Tess!"
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"You have lost the weight."
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"I'm not sabotaging you, Marsha."
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"For me,"
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"If this doesn't work, I might just"
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"I'm way fatter than you if it..."
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"Mmm, coffee."
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"- That's because I live across the line. - Oh!"
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"Kate."
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"- But I'm gonna lose the weight. - You know,"
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"Okay."
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"Breathe. Breathe."
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"I thought we should..."
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"I'm sorry, no, we're not gonna have this conversation."
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"- Jack, we need to have this... - We're not having this conversation"
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"- Absolutely, but we still... - I have three cribs"
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"at our new home that we bought specifically"
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"- for our three children to grow up in. - I understand."
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"My-my mother, my mother has already knitted three onesies."
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"I know."
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"And she's a slow, no-talent knitter."
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"So I'm gonna need everyone in this room to believe me"
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"Actually..."
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"I know it."
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"Hey, clear my afternoon?"
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"banging on the door."
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"Who the hell is..."
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"Now, don't worry, I'm not here"
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"I have a lights out family of my own, and..."
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"and because I can do stuff like that."
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"my life started with you leaving me on a fire station doorstep"
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"with nothing more than a ratty blanket"
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"- You want to come in? - Okay."
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"'Cause otherwise, I really need to get going."
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"You want me to say something?"
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"- Screw you, and storm out of here. - That's ridiculous."
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"your mom, remember the baby."
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"Not an excuse."
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"that I don't remember."
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"Anyway, I don't know if that's what you're looking for,"
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"for the things I've done."
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"You want to meet your grandchildren?"
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"Hey, kid."
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"Trust me: they're paying me an absolute fortune."
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"Yeah. Well,"
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"Hey!"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the great Alan Thicke!"
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"- Come on, son... - I said don't call me son."
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"I don't understand that and I'll never understand you,"
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"Just get out."
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"Thank you."
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"- Thank you for being here. - Excellent."
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"Hey, may I have the envelope, please?"
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"There, what are you doing, come on, get in here."
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"See, I told you, right? I told you!"
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