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Clips from Nathan for You - Hotel/Travel Agent (S03E03)

"we tested it out in every possible scenario..."
Nathan for You
"- Mm-hmm. - From a couple making love"
Nathan for You
"to a seven-person group engagement,"
Nathan for You
"- Mm-hmm."
Nathan for You
"- Who didn't hear anything."
Nathan for You
"Wow. Um..."
Nathan for You
"Mm..."
Nathan for You
"- So I guess we'll leave the box in the lobby,"
Nathan for You
"and just let me know if you want to order any more."
Nathan for You
"Thank you for the offer, but--"
Nathan for You
"- Uh...all right."
Nathan for You
"[light music]"
Nathan for You
"- In making this show, I'm constantly on the road,"
Nathan for You
"driving from location to location."
Nathan for You
"- ♪ Hot summer nights after the sun went down ♪"
Nathan for You
"♪ Dreaming of a life outside my little town ♪"
Nathan for You
"- But because the traffic is so terrible"
Nathan for You
"I often find myself stuck in total gridlock,"
Nathan for You
"and in my line of work, being late is not an option."
Nathan for You
"that allows me to be on time no matter how bad traffic gets."
Nathan for You
"Then, the second I hit any traffic,"
Nathan for You
"This is where a switch occurs,"
Nathan for You
"while I quickly mount the back of the motorcycle."
Nathan for You
"I'm able to speed through the gridlock"
Nathan for You
"looked envious of my ability to avoid traffic,"
Nathan for You
"and that's when I realized"
Nathan for You
"throughout the city to be on-call"
Nathan for You
"But to do this would take some work,"
Nathan for You
"so we'll check back with this in a bit."
Nathan for You
"But first..."
Nathan for You
"Rose Ilandrian is a travel agent"
Nathan for You
"and the owner of Glendale, California's Travelure By Rose."
Nathan for You
"But in this internet age,"
Nathan for You
"she's seen her longstanding business"
Nathan for You
"- All of a sudden, internet came"
Nathan for You
"and everybody's--they're going directly to the internet."
Nathan for You
"- And because of this, her customers have dwindled"
Nathan for You
"the oldest of the old."
Nathan for You
"So I paid Rose a visit with a really good solution."
Nathan for You
"You see, pretty soon, Rose's customers will be so old"
Nathan for You
"is their trip into the ground."
Nathan for You
"- What are you talking?"
Nathan for You
"- I mean, even you acknowledged the business is gonna die."
Nathan for You
"aren't gonna be around much longer."
Nathan for You
"- My opinion."
Nathan for You
"- Your opinion? - Yes."
Nathan for You
"- So this is a last-ditch effort"
Nathan for You
"to squeeze out as much as you can from your customers"
Nathan for You
"before they're gone for good."
Nathan for You
"- Rose seemed interested in the prospect"
Nathan for You
"of making money from her dying customers."
Nathan for You
"But since neither of us knew how the funeral business"
Nathan for You
"actually operated, I booked us an appointment"
Nathan for You
"at one of the area's most popular funeral homes."
Nathan for You
"- What do you want? I mean, like this..."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah. That's realistic kind of sick."
Nathan for You
"- But I'm a very strong lady. - Yeah, you're strong"
Nathan for You
"in real life, but for this, you're pretending to be sick."
Nathan for You
"- Okay."
Nathan for You
"- So we headed into our meeting"
Nathan for You
"Sadly, uh, my wife, Rose,"
Nathan for You
"so we're trying to make arrangements for the day."
Nathan for You
"- Sure. - So whatever, you know,"
Nathan for You
"everything you offer, that would be really helpful"
Nathan for You
"- With the funeral director buying our story,"
Nathan for You
"And can I ask, uh, who your distributor is for these?"
Nathan for You
"- Aurora? - Yes."
Nathan for You
"that the business was trending away from caskets altogether."
Nathan for You
"- It was clear that if Rose wanted to compete,"
Nathan for You
"But when I looked online,"
Nathan for You
"were ridiculously expensive,"
Nathan for You
"I needed to be sure it could incinerate a body."
Nathan for You
"So I contacted a local pizzeria"
Nathan for You
"and asked if I could do a test in one of their ovens."
Nathan for You
"and filled the insides with pork bones"
Nathan for You
"to make the anatomy as close to human as possible."
Nathan for You
"and headed over to Burbank Pizzeria"
Nathan for You
"to see if their oven would burn it to a crisp."
Nathan for You
"I wasn't sure that this was gonna be this big of a deal"
Nathan for You
"with clothing and cloth and leather and hair"
Nathan for You
"Okay, but if we take off the clothing, then it's okay?"
Nathan for You
"- After a brief negotiation,"
Nathan for You
"George allowed me to continue as long as we put him in naked."
Nathan for You
"[cheerful music]"
Nathan for You
"So once all the clothes were removed,"
Nathan for You
"and then all there was left to do was wait."
Nathan for You
"Are you, uh, are you married?"
Nathan for You
"- Yup."
Nathan for You
"- No. No."
Nathan for You
"So he made me take out the body before it was fully burnt,"
Nathan for You
"- Yup. - Would that work the same"
Nathan for You
"- With the success of my scientific experiment,"
Nathan for You
"So I dressed up her waiting area"
Nathan for You
"with marketing materials"
Nathan for You
"And with that, it was time to see if Rose"
Nathan for You
"could convince customers to plan their funerals"
Nathan for You
"with Travelure."
Nathan for You
"- I'd like to go again to Las Vegas, Nevada."
Nathan for You
"- And we sell, sorry I'm telling you this one, funeral packages."
Nathan for You
"- If you are ready or you have the plans..."
Nathan for You
"- Um..."
Nathan for You
"I need to know just in case. - Yes."
Nathan for You
"Whenever you need that, just let me know."
Nathan for You
"- But unfortunately, the customer wasn't interested."
Nathan for You
"And after that,"
Nathan for You
"Rose started having second thoughts."
Nathan for You
"- I can do it, but, again,"
Nathan for You
"All this talk about funerals and stuff"
Nathan for You
"it's not about how much money you make"
Nathan for You
"It's about the little moments that are nice."
Nathan for You
"- Very nice. - Like this."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah. Bye. - Bye-bye."
Nathan for You
"- Earlier, you saw me come up with an idea"
Nathan for You
"to rescue people from gridlock."
Nathan for You
"But to see if this would work as an actual service,"
Nathan for You
"I thought I'd have the best chance"
Nathan for You
"if they thought I was one of them."
Nathan for You
"to take part in my service."
Nathan for You
"My life."
Nathan for You
"and I'm looking for couples that know how to ride."
Nathan for You
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