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Clips from Nathan for You - Hotel/Travel Agent (S03E03)

"with really good grades."
Nathan for You
"in this competitive world."
Nathan for You
"- The hotel would like to, you know,"
Nathan for You
"get more families to come in because when they--"
Nathan for You
"you have to cater to the needs of the parents."
Nathan for You
"When couples stay alone in a hotel,"
Nathan for You
"- Yeah. But when families travel together,"
Nathan for You
"I imagine it's incredibly frustrating for the parents"
Nathan for You
"from his parents' carnal acts,"
Nathan for You
"If you put it that way, theoretically, maybe."
Nathan for You
"and even had some suggestions of his own."
Nathan for You
"- But before committing to anything,"
Nathan for You
"that would pump oxygen in while scrubbing out the CO2"
Nathan for You
"And as a final precaution,"
Nathan for You
"any sex noises that happened to get through."
Nathan for You
"it seemed like our prototype was complete."
Nathan for You
"Do you normally start, like, kissing a little bit,"
Nathan for You
"I brought in our test subject..."
Nathan for You
"An eight-year-old child actor named Bradley."
Nathan for You
"And after helping him in and showing him how to alert me"
Nathan for You
"in case of an emergency..."
Nathan for You
"[alarm beeps]"
Nathan for You
"they still insisted on being present during the test."
Nathan for You
"Because this is a test,"
Nathan for You
"I'm gonna have the performers go at each other pretty hard."
Nathan for You
"Are you guys ready? - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- [murmurs]"
Nathan for You
"- After a few minutes,"
Nathan for You
"- There's an alert button. Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Nathan for You
"I was left to monitor the rest of the test on my own."
Nathan for You
"- [yelling] Oh! Oh!"
Nathan for You
"[both moaning]"
Nathan for You
"[rainforest sounds playing]"
Nathan for You
"it's time to see if my box had worked."
Nathan for You
"- Fun. - Did you...hear anything?"
Nathan for You
"Nothing besides that?"
Nathan for You
"- My box had passed an initial test."
Nathan for You
"But with a child's mental health on the line,"
Nathan for You
"So these are some of my friends here."
Nathan for You
"- Nice to meet you. - Okay."
Nathan for You
"So, uh...how was that?"
Nathan for You
"- Did you hear anything strange this time?"
Nathan for You
"- It worked. The box was completely soundproof."
Nathan for You
"And that meant I could finally"
Nathan for You
"that the product was ready to be offered to his guests."
Nathan for You
"- So, as you can see,"
Nathan for You
"- Um..."
Nathan for You
"- You don't have to worry about it--it's my gift to you."
Nathan for You
"We'll just leave it in the lobby."
Nathan for You
"Leave it in the lobby, then. Yeah."
Nathan for You
"I try to use the time as best I can"
Nathan for You
"Whenever I'm on the road,"
Nathan for You
"I make sure to have two interns follow me on a motorcycle."
Nathan for You
"I give them a signal out my window"
Nathan for You
"as my unpaid intern takes my spot in the car"
Nathan for You
"And because it's legal to split lanes in California,"
Nathan for You
"leaving my unpaid intern to wait in traffic"
Nathan for You
"But the more I use the system,"
Nathan for You
"I might've accidentally stumbled onto"
Nathan for You
"If I could arrange for hundreds of motorcyclists"
Nathan for You
"I'd be able to help everyone avoid traffic,"
Nathan for You
"and my gridlock rescue concept could become a national hit."
Nathan for You
"crippled by modern technology."
Nathan for You
"to the last holdouts of the information age--"
Nathan for You
"The plan: for Rose to transition her travel agency"
Nathan for You
"into a full-service funeral home."
Nathan for You
"- Hmm."
Nathan for You
"before she bites the dust."
Nathan for You
"Okay. Show me how you're gonna act in there."
Nathan for You
"It's almost dead--okay. Good."
Nathan for You
"has come down with Klein's and she's on her way out,"
Nathan for You
"options you have and can run through kind of"
Nathan for You
"- Absolutely."
Nathan for You
"she walked me through all their products and services,"
Nathan for You
"and I was sure to take note of everything."
Nathan for You
"- Aurora. We use Aurora caskets."
Nathan for You
"- My plan was working"
Nathan for You
"but I was surprised to learn"
Nathan for You
"I discovered that cremation furnaces"
Nathan for You
"and the only ovens that seemed to be in her price range"
Nathan for You
"But before suggesting this to Rose,"
Nathan for You
"Obviously, I couldn't use a real cadaver,"
Nathan for You
"And once it was done, we wrapped it up"
Nathan for You
"and stuff like that, so..."
Nathan for You
"- I think it would be best if you want to cook it."
Nathan for You
"into the 650-degree oven,"
Nathan for You
"- Congratulations. - Thank you."
Nathan for You
"- After 1 1/2 hours, George had to open up his shop."
Nathan for You
"A few more hours, would it all just burn to a crisp?"
Nathan for You
"- Well, anything in that heat eventually will burn, yeah."
Nathan for You
"I now knew that Rose would be able"
Nathan for You
"- After handling the customer's travel needs,"
Nathan for You
"- Oh, yeah. Okay."
Nathan for You
"like, we prepare all these packages."
Nathan for You
"but yeah. It's good to know, yeah."
Nathan for You
"Sure. Sure."
Nathan for You
"- It has to come from my heart."
Nathan for You
"it's not from my heart."
Nathan for You
"- You know, it's funny."
Nathan for You
"has really gotten me thinking a lot about my own mortality,"
Nathan for You
"you know what I mean?"
Nathan for You
"- It makes you realize that at the end of the day,"
Nathan for You
"or...how many girls you've slept with."
Nathan for You
"- Thank you, too, Nathan."
Nathan for You
"Thank you. Thank you."
Nathan for You
"I'd first need to recruit motorcyclists"
Nathan for You
"that were interested in being riders."
Nathan for You
"Knowing that bikers have a pack mentality,"
Nathan for You
"[wolf whistle]"
Nathan for You
"with the goal of recruiting couples who ride together"
Nathan for You
"And after spending some time doing my best to blend in..."
Nathan for You
"I'm working on a business opportunity,"
Nathan for You
"to see if they'd be right for the job."
Nathan for You
"if I hire you guys and you break up,"
Nathan for You
"you're kind of useless to me."
Nathan for You
"I mean, I'm not--"
Nathan for You
"- I'm not looking to go see anybody else, so..."
Nathan for You
"- Um..."
Nathan for You
"- I had too much fun in one day with two different women."
Nathan for You
"at the same party, but no, not together."
Nathan for You
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