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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Nobody Beats the Baba (S01E01)

"- Seems like you've still got feelings for him."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Plus you're caller number 6!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Succatash, Succatash. That sucka-sucka sucks!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Beep ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Tires screech ] - Yes. Baba own it!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba coming, Petey!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ] Ooh! - Hey! What the hell!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No! - Ew! He's running and sweating!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- That won't work! [ Gasps ] I don't understand."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Why can't I find it?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"No! Not that!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Get out of my way! - Ow!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Move! - Boy. Here we go again."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I've got a right to bare arms! - Oh, my gun's in the car."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Society's not gonna stop Old Petey boy"
Teenage Euthanasia
"from getting his last shot!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, no, sweetie, you're gonna get shot again."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Xenu approves! - This is so boring."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Welcome to Only Pants. I'm Charlie Pants."
Teenage Euthanasia
"No relation to the Only Pants Pants."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Our same names are just a coinci-pants."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Please -- show me your finest shirt!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Did you catch the name of the store, pal?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"We only sell pants."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I hoped you were a store for shoppers who only have pants!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"'Cause right now that's all I've got!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sir, I'm going to need you"
Teenage Euthanasia
"to lower your voice and exit the store."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Every day, I wake up and sexlessly touch the dead"
Teenage Euthanasia
"without issue, thanks to a very special,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"irreplaceable shirt that's now...gone!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, Fred! In here! We got us a code YIKES."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ] Put down your weapon!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"And put your shirt on! - Huh?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Oh, no! The sign fell off! - Hands where I can see 'em!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Chimes ringing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ] Uh-agh..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Ugh! Stop! What are you doing?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"When the bottle lands on you, you have to close your eyes"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and ask God to let you into Heaven some day."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Listen. Now, Annie didn't want me to mention this, but..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I actually died and came back to life."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Except you don't see me making a big deal out of it!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Okay?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Scoffs ] You met God?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Scoffs ] I don't know. I meet a lot of people."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Now, can we make out already?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Well, uh, if you really went to Heaven,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"how does Steve Jobs take his coffee, hm?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- There is no Heaven! Kenton is a liar!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ All gasp ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Moam, I know you're troubled, but Annie and I"
Teenage Euthanasia
"were just getting to the good part."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- It's not what you think."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Kenton, you can drop the savior act."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Annie's willing to give you handjobs"
Teenage Euthanasia
"entirely based on your face."
Teenage Euthanasia
"And if she chickens out, as many women do, I'm here to help."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We need to wait till marriage for up-and-downs!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Gasps ] I think you better go."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ All gasp ] - Listen."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I died for real, kid, and there's no afterlife."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Just admit it. You made it up!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie! I'm not lying. I swear."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Prove it! - Wh-- How?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Well, why don't you and I have a friendly little"
Teenage Euthanasia
"come-back competition?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ All gasp ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Then Mother sent me to find a new shirt without her!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Baba coming! - And get some powdered milk!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Here! I'll show you! - He's reaching for his weapon!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Beep-beep! Baba here! - Everybody reach for yours!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Rattling ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Gunshot ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Please no shoot! He good boy!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba should have been here!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Stand down. We got a mama's boy, not a bad boy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"All clear. Just a different kind of "yikes." Over."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Grunts ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sorry about your nickels, Baba."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I wasn't able to find a shirt."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Is Baba fail, Petey."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Snip-snip was bad plan. No worry."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I retie apron strings..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[Straining] ....even tighter!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Grunting ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Chimes ringing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No! - Kenton, you can't!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Don't do it! - Kenton!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I need to prove I would never lie to a friend."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Actually...a girlfriend."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ All gasp ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Somebody seems to care more about Annie"
Teenage Euthanasia
"than he does about God!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You're just jealous! What?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Everyone knows Kenton gives you impure thoughts."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- He gives all of us impure thoughts!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Come on, Kenton!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"If God were real, he wouldn't have all day."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You mean "she." - Oh, now I'm sure you're lying."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let's get on with it! - It's true!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"God is super busy, and she doesn't appreciate"
Teenage Euthanasia
"when people waste her time, same as Ben Stiller."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Kenton, no! Let's go back in the closet and pray instead!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"And maybe, if you feel like God would be cool with it,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"you can guess my bra size."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie, if I don't make it back,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"know that in spite of everything"
Teenage Euthanasia
"my friends and Moam said, I don't think you're boring."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But if I do get to return,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll ask God if we can lay the groundwork"
Teenage Euthanasia
"for some light kissing in three to six months."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, Kenton. Please don't do it."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Time to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. For real."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ All gasp ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Now Baba protect you wherever you go."
Teenage Euthanasia
"It too late for you to be well-adjusted grown man."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba learn from wise man name Succatash to just "own it.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Rasta horn blares ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
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