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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Nobody Beats the Baba (S01E01)

"[ Bells chime ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Whoa! This place is amazing!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Look! A theater-sized popcorn popper!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yeah, my dad sued the sand company"
Teenage Euthanasia
"that owned the sand truck that ran me over."
Teenage Euthanasia
"My parents would've gotten even more money if I died"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and didn't come back to life."
Teenage Euthanasia
"My dad mentions that -- a lot."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- So ya kicked the bucket then retrieved the bucket"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and put it back where it was, huh?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yeah, except I made a tiny pit stop in between."
Teenage Euthanasia
"A little place called... Heaven."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [Softly] Lying sack of garbage."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Speaking of, you guys want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[Singsong voice] Annie, you and Kenton can go first."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Fine, but it's against tradition."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I can't wait!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Maybe you can't, but Heaven can."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Your arm's gonna get tired."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Okay. We have seven minutes to kill, possibly five."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Any of you 18 and already have HPV?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"If so, I'll play."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- It's Succatash and the Mer! For your afternoon commute."
Teenage Euthanasia
"We got traffic on the ones, Weather on the What!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Succatash. Call us up, win some cash! Be caller number 9."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Just answer the question of the day."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Call to play. It's Ladies Day! Hey, ladies! Shopping!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let's open up the phones."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Ohh! Baba love shopping."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Telephone ringing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Panting ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Welcome to "Shirts, Don't It?""
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm Peter Fantasy! I'm in desperate need"
Teenage Euthanasia
"of a shirt and my mother's approval!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Please hurry! - Need more information."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- It needs to cover my chest and stomach,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"boost self-esteem, and reduce shame."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Still searching."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Faster! I've got a funeral to get to!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Normal man shirt! But not itchy!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Extra-grip buttons for sweaty thumbs!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You've selected "buttons.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"There are 1,500 shirts with buttons."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Here's the top choice based on your DNA"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and psychological profile."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Polyester cotton blend. Two arms."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Ohh! A neck hole."
Teenage Euthanasia
"This is promising. What's my size?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You've asked, "What's my size?""
Teenage Euthanasia
"Connecting you to our award-winning"
Teenage Euthanasia
"user help portal and measuring center."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Please remain still for measurement"
Teenage Euthanasia
"while you enjoy this ad for Nester's Cheese Nebulizer."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Take that Nester Cheese straight to the dome!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Nester's Cheese Nebulizer comes in new extreme flavors!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Monterey Crack,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Chili Con Gnarly, and Flamin' Flag!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Thank you for waiting."
Teenage Euthanasia
"We have selected the properly sized shirt."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Please take this 30-question satisfaction survey."
Teenage Euthanasia
"On a scale of one to ten,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"how likely are you to purchase Nester's Cheese Nebulizer?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Stammers ] Six? What about my shirt?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- To purchase, please confirm you are ready"
Teenage Euthanasia
"for the first day of the rest of your luh-luh-life."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I do."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Zapping ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Clanking ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ] It's no use, Shirty."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll never satisfy Baba or replace you!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I have to go now."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But know that Baba believes in you!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"And so do I."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Find a new shirt, Pete!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm gonna do it!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"You'll see! You'll all see!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"This one's for my mother!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, right. This guy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"We got a topless incel talking about his mom,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Definitely gonna shoot up the place."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm gonna take him out. Ohp. Wait a minute."
Teenage Euthanasia
"There's a note on his back. Ugh. False alarm."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- And I guess my favorite kind of prayer is the bedside prayer,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"just 'cause it sums up the day so nice."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Or the reverse-cowgirl prayer!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"That's when a cowgirl begs for the Lord's forgiveness"
Teenage Euthanasia
"for all the saucy pants she wears."
Teenage Euthanasia
"How 'bout you? - I don't pray."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But I have a poem I recite when I lose a sock from a pair."
Teenage Euthanasia
"It's from the lost sock's point of view,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"wishing to be reunited with its mate."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Kenton? Aren't you gonna kiss me?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Huh? We're here to play Seven Minutes in Heaven, silly,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"the game where I talk about Heaven for seven minutes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"So, my grandma was there, but this time,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"she was super in favor of gay marriage."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I also played a game of chess with Martin Luther King Jr.,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"who spread the message that veganism is lit!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- That sounds just like something MLK would say."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Please don't interrupt, Annie! I only have seven minutes!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Telephone ringing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hello. Is Baba caller nine?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You'll find out right after you"
Teenage Euthanasia
"answer our question of the day. Mer?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Tell us about your last breakup."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You sound like a very passionate woman."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Sighs ] Well, it was this morning."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba finally had to snip-snip!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, brutal! Vasectomy of the heart!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Why'd you cut him loose, Baba?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Bet he was lousy in bed. Mm-hmm."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- True. He still can't sleep through night."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But he good boy. - Dag, girl."
Teenage Euthanasia
"He sounds like a luh-luh-loser!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Petey not loser!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"He just do better with Baba help."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sounds like Baba's not ready to let him go."
Teenage Euthanasia
"What's your verdict, Succatash? - Own it!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Baba...own it?"
Teenage Euthanasia
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