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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Nobody Beats the Baba (S01E01)

"- Hey, Kenton. I was wondering."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Are there boyfriends in Heaven? - Hm. I'm not sure."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But I did get to play two-on-two basketball with the Steves --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Jobs, McQueen, and Hawking."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sounds like a lot of two-way fun."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I wouldn't know about that."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We can change that. Right now."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let me borrow your hand for a second."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Here! Like the word of God,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"friendship bracelets are meant to be shared!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- The chafe of friendship."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I never thought it would happen to me."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, me and my band, we're chillin' at my place tonight."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You should come chill. Or whatever. No presh."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm feeling the presh, but it's good presh."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I-I like the presh."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Great! It's a date."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- A date..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Up-tempo dance music plays ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Mom! Mom! Guess what! - No!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm sick of hearing about new ways to recycle."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Throwing plastic in the trash makes Mommy happy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Something great happened!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ] You picked up my use-as-needed pills?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Well, yes. - [ Rattling ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- And a boy asked me out!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gulps ] Wait. A real boy?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba! Get in here!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Baba here. - [ Both gasp ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Baba been here."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie's going on her first date!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Trophy, remember when you 14?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba come with you."
Teenage Euthanasia
"First date, third handjob."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Aww!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"You actually did a lot of the heavy lifting on that."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- How else you learn?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"In old country, mother chaperone daughter's first date."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Is family tradition, like not being able to afford college."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- So, where we headed, Annie? Behind the bleachers?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Dog track? Dialysis center?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No offense, but I'd rather go alone."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I really like him, and you can never act appropriately."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sure I can!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Just describe his penis to me ahead of time,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"then I won't be tempted to peek."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Mom! It's not like that."
Teenage Euthanasia
"He clinically died for 30 minutes, went to Heaven,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"then came back on a mission to tell people about God."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I guess you guys have the "previously dying" thing"
Teenage Euthanasia
"in common. - Heaven's a lie, Annie."
Teenage Euthanasia
"This guy's a liar. A virgin liar."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm a virgin, too, ya know."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Not the way you ride bike. - [ Horn honks ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Baba, I'm as ready as I'll ever be!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Best of luck with handjob. - Fine."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I want him to think I come from a good family."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Can I at least tell him you're a troubled teen"
Teenage Euthanasia
"whose soul I'm trying to save?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I can still pass for a troubled teen."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Thanks. If I do lose my virginity tonight,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll be thinking of you the whole time!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [Grunting] No! - Hoopah!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Okay. I drive around parking lot."
Teenage Euthanasia
"See you in 30 minute."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- But how will I know which shirt is "the one""
Teenage Euthanasia
"without your passive acceptance or glaring disapproval?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Snip-snip! Ooh! Here jar of nickels."
Teenage Euthanasia
"After you find shirt, stop at powdered-milk store,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"buy two packet of chalk flavor!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Wha-- Wait!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Shoppers will think you incel with concealed weapon."
Teenage Euthanasia
"There. Make the people feel safe."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Tires squeal ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Indistinct conversations ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Welcome to "Lids. But for Shirts. America!""
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let me know if you need help. Uncle Pete."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I need a new shirt. - Of course."
Teenage Euthanasia
"This Vesper Cottondale's a close match."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Soft and dependable."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You'll notice the contrasting top button,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"the French placket, a curved hemline,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and rear darts for a tailored fit!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- This shirt's not giving me that same, "I'll be okay"
Teenage Euthanasia
"even if Mom's in the other room" feeling."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Completely understand!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Try this one. Uncle Pete."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Let me ask you something."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Would you be trying to sell me this physical assault"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with a hem and a collar if my mother was here?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm sorry? - Yes, you should be sorry."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Sorry for preying on vulnerable, unaccompanied grown men!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm taking my business elsewhere!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Elsewhere closed early today!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, no! Now what, Shirty?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Remember what Baba always says."
Teenage Euthanasia
"When God closes a shirt store, he opens a shirt kiosk."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- She is so wise!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We've got a shirtless white male"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with a gun bulge in his pocket headed towards"
Teenage Euthanasia
"the Me Love You Lawn Time Garden Center."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll investigate as soon as I finish up with this"
Teenage Euthanasia
"doughy, salty subject I've currently got in custody."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Over."
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, Annie! So glad you could stop by!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Who's your friend? - Kenton, this is my mom."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Er -- Did I say "Mom"? I meant "Moam.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"As in "my main moam.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"Like how guys say "main man." Girls say "main moam.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"She's a troubled teen I'm helping."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Very cool."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Well, these are my bandmates and fellow believers --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Shayla, Dushane, and Deacon. - [ Choir vocalizing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You're just in time!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"We're about to play "All God's Critters"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Got a Place in the Choir" on hand bells!"
Teenage Euthanasia
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