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Clips from The Love Guru (2008)

"Hello, Los Angeles Kings."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I am His Holiness, the Guru Pitka."
The Love Guru (2008)
"And I have a message from Darren Roanoke."
The Love Guru (2008)
"He told me to tell you that you're all his bitches,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"and that you can suck his big greasy..."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay."
The Love Guru (2008)
"You're dead, Roanoke!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"TRENT: And we're getting ready to drop the puck for game one of the Finals."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Not to fight."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I would not wanna be his nutsack."
The Love Guru (2008)
"TRENT: They're coming after Roanoke!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"What the hell are you doing?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Superstar, look at your hands."
The Love Guru (2008)
"They're not shaking!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yes."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Because you are now distracted, therefore playing better."
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's the only way."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yes, it is arbitrary! Fight anyone for any reason!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Fight anyone."
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's a bench-clearing brawl!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(JACQUES GROANING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(WHISTLES)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"One game suspension, Roanoke!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Way to go, Roanoke! You jag-off!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Anyone for any reason."
The Love Guru (2008)
"That would mean Roanoke would be out for game two and three!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"He could play in game four."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Two and three, out, can't play in the game."
The Love Guru (2008)
"He can pretend to play while he's at home,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You have a firm grasp of the obvious."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Are you all right?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Put me down, A-hole! Okay."
The Love Guru (2008)
"TRENT: And the Kings take the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Damn it!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Cherkov, relax!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(PITKA GROANS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"First of all, let's agree next time we decide to have a group meeting,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"we take it in my office."
The Love Guru (2008)
"So, Guru, enlighten us. What is your plan?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"- PITKA: No, no! - CHERKOV: Let me at him!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"JANE: No! Get back! No!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No! No!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Hippie queer!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Throw a hex on you."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Isn't there any way that you could skip a step or two?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No way! With Drama, there is no shortcuts."
The Love Guru (2008)
"We must now take him back to his childhood."
The Love Guru (2008)
"His mother only lives an hour away,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"but he won't allow her to go to the games."
The Love Guru (2008)
"He won't allow his mother to come to any of his games!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(PITKA GROANS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Little help, please!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Okay. All right."
The Love Guru (2008)
"You're leaving? Yes."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Where are you going?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"To see Darren."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Come by my ashram, then I will explain."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Coach Cherkov, I would invite you,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"but I know you have your meeting with the Lollipop Guild."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(SNARLS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"'Cause, man, I don't play well around her, man."
The Love Guru (2008)
"She freaks me out."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, hell no! Oh, hell no!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, hells yes!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(GROANS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yeah. This ain't Driving Miss Daisy, man."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"DARREN: Okay. Yo, this my street right here."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Tonawanda Street."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Tonawanda Street? I know this street."
The Love Guru (2008)
"You do? Yes."
The Love Guru (2008)
"At what number did you live?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Fifty-three."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Do you know a Dickie Withers at 85?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No. Well, it does."
The Love Guru (2008)
"A dickie does wither at 85. I own you! Yeah!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yeah! You are laughing!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You see, you're filled with joy of a child!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You are now ready to meet your ma."
The Love Guru (2008)
"PITKA: Oh, please. How bad can she be?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Oh, I shall not be moved ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ No, no, no, no ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"PITKA: Remember, Darren, you must stand up to her."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, Mom."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Now, why won't you let your ma come see you play?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's just that you're not always the most supportive, Ma."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Supportive?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Pressure makes diamonds."
The Love Guru (2008)
"So does scum!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You're the Guru Pitka."
The Love Guru (2008)
"You're like the poor man's Deepak Chopra."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Game over."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, Mom, don't, don't."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Do you have something to say to me?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(WHISPERING) Yes, you do. Yes, go ahead."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yes."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I know you are not trying to tell me how to raise my child."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Look at you. You're jumpy."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I told you that we shouldn't have come here."
The Love Guru (2008)
"No, no, no, no, no."
The Love Guru (2008)
"There has to be another way."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, I hear you rappin', Sister McCrappin'."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Okay, there are two ways to regress you."
The Love Guru (2008)
"What's the other way? Well..."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(SPUTTERING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I am making diarrhea sounds with my cup."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm regressing you."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(LAUGHING) Why am I laughing, man?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Look what you did to my jacket."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Go ahead!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You bastard. You totally caught me in a ball-gaze."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Congratulations, you have been regressed."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I own you!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yes, you own me."
The Love Guru (2008)
"But with ownership comes responsibility."
The Love Guru (2008)
"PITKA: It was at this point that I realized"
The Love Guru (2008)
"What are you doing?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"He said while eating a chicken wing."
The Love Guru (2008)
"TRENT: So, the Leafs lose game two by a whopping six-to-one score."
The Love Guru (2008)
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