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Clips from The Love Guru (2008)

"PITKA: (IN MORGAN FREEMAN'S VOICE) When I was a child in India,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"growing up in the tiny village of Harenmahkeester,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I found a voice-over machine,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"which I still use to this day."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, hi."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(CHUCKLES)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I decided to use the Morgan Freeman setting."
The Love Guru (2008)
"In my book, If You're Happy and You Know it, Think Again,"
The Love Guru (2008)
""That looks like a penis, only smaller.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"(SIGHS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Though I was raised here in India, I was born in America,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"which is where our journey begins."
The Love Guru (2008)
"who became my greatest teacher."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Or some such bullshit. I don't know. Gotta go!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Hi, I'm Trent Lueders!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"And I'm Jay Kell."
The Love Guru (2008)
"But before we get going, I'd like to start by thanking my own personal champions."
The Love Guru (2008)
"The fans who supported me with their cards and letters"
The Love Guru (2008)
"during my recent addiction to peyote buttons and Frangelico."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I've already apologized to my friends, my family, and my god."
The Love Guru (2008)
"for my vicious and brutal attack."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm sorry, Judi, you did not deserve that,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"and I hope the staples come out soon."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Over to you, Trent."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Thanks, Jay!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Tonight, the Toronto Maple Leafs' Darren Roanoke"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Hockey has its legends."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Now, the new one, Darren Roanoke."
The Love Guru (2008)
"- MAN 1: Hey, yo, check this, son! - MAN 2: Check this!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"He was in a perfect marriage."
The Love Guru (2008)
"But before the playoffs,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Roanoke found out his wife, Prudence,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"was dating the L.A. Kings' legendary."
The Love Guru (2008)
"for reasons that cannot be stated on this program."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(IN FRENCH ACCENT) This interview is over."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Holy (BLEEP)..."
The Love Guru (2008)
"But the question on everyone's mind is,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, can we win the Cup without Roanoke?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Not a chance, boss."
The Love Guru (2008)
"As long as Jacques "Le Coq" Grande is banging Darren's wife,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Darren's toast."
The Love Guru (2008)
"My father once told me the Yankees hired a guru to turn their team around."
The Love Guru (2008)
"They call him the Love Guru."
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Tumble out of bed ♪ ♪ and I stumble to the kitchen ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Out on the streets ♪ ♪ the traffic starts jumping ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Working 9:00 to 5:00 ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ What a way to make a living ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ They just use your mind ♪ ♪ and they never give you credit ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ You're just a step ♪ ♪ on the boss man's ladder ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ But you've got dreams ♪ ♪ he'll never take away ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ And the tide's gonna turn and ♪ ♪ it's all gonna roll your way ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Working 9:00 to 5:00 ♪ ♪ for service and devotion ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ I swear sometimes ♪ ♪ that man is out to get me ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Barely getting by ♪ ♪ it's all taking and no giving ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ They just use your mind ♪ ♪ and they never give you credit ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ It's enough to drive you ♪ ♪ crazy if you let it ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"♪ Barely getting by ♪ ♪ it's all taking and no giving ♪"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Here we go, here we go."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay, Your Holiness."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Not in as many words."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Quaking pudding! I can't take this!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Babu, to be the world's second most popular"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Neo-Eastern-Self-Help-Spiritualist is no small thing."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Thank you, Rajneesh."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(BOTH GIGGLING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You! You!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(BOTH SPEAKING FRENCH)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No, no, no! You!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Okay. You!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No! You!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(COUGHS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Stop it!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Who's the gift basket from, Dick?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It says, "Thank you for the gift of true intimacy","
The Love Guru (2008)
""but we've decided to work with Deepak instead.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"What does Deepak Chopra have that I don't have?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"He's been on Oprah."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oprah!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"And Oprah loves a great story."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Now, take a look at this."
The Love Guru (2008)
"The Toronto Maple Leafs will pay you $2 million,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"if you can get Darren Roanoke back with his wife"
The Love Guru (2008)
"in time to win the Stanley Cup."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Two million dollars!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"But wait, it gets better!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"they guarantee that you will be on her show!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Let me get this straight."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm the next Deepak Chopra!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Please enter the ashram of the Guru Tugginmypudha."
The Love Guru (2008)
"yet you are blind."
The Love Guru (2008)
"TUGGINMYPUDHA: I am not blind."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I am just severely cross-eyed."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Deepak, here you go."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Speak of your parents."
The Love Guru (2008)
"And what did they do before then?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"They were dog stylists."
The Love Guru (2008)
"So, let me get this straight."
The Love Guru (2008)
"They were into doggy style before the missionary position?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(TUGGINMYPUDHA LAUGHING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"That's hilarious. My parents are dead. Thanks."
The Love Guru (2008)
"To seek my true self."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I want to become a guru so girls will like me."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Deepak, you will enjoy love in all forms."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Chastity belt? That sucks!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"you may remove the belt."
The Love Guru (2008)
"may I still..."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(EXCLAIMS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"You will go cross-eyed!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(TUGGINMYPUDHA LAUGHS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"ALL: Mariska Hargitay."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Welcome to my ashram,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"or EIEIO."
The Love Guru (2008)
"And on that farm, he did no harm."
The Love Guru (2008)
"ALL: EIEIO."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(LAUGHING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Okay."
The Love Guru (2008)
"If I sit like this any longer, I'm gonna pop my dink bag."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Shh."
The Love Guru (2008)
"My goal is to get you to say, "Gee, you are you.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"(ALL EXCLAIMING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
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