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Clips from The Love Guru (2008)

"And the you of "guru" is intimacy."
The Love Guru (2008)
"WOMAN: I see."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Without intimacy, you feel nowhere."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Tonight I want you to go from nowhere"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's like in The Electric Company, you know?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"BOTH: Nowhere."
The Love Guru (2008)
"My laws of intimacy are kind of like my Bible."
The Love Guru (2008)
"The Bible is "basic instructions before leaving earth.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"Show the T-shirt."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(ALL EXCLAIMING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"And my guru, Guru Tugginmypudha had a guru, Guru Cheddafrumunda."
The Love Guru (2008)
"And Guru Cheddafrumunda had a guru, Guru Hathasmalvena."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Guru Hathasmalvena had two main periods of his Gita,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"or words of wisdom."
The Love Guru (2008)
"The first period came before he got syphilis."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Some pre-syphilitic words of wisdom include,"
The Love Guru (2008)
""To know something is good.""
The Love Guru (2008)
""Did it smell that bad when you ate it?""
The Love Guru (2008)
"(ALL EXCLAIMS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"ALL: Mariska Hargitay."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Some announcements."
The Love Guru (2008)
"On Friday,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Bring your singles. Yeah."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(ALL CHEERING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Any bears? Oh, yeah."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Yeah. Right."
The Love Guru (2008)
"That little booger gave me a nose-whistle during the whole show."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(NOSE WHISTLING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(LAUGHING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay, Your Holiness."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay, Jessica Simpson."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(CHUCKLING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(GASPING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay, Your Holiness."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(GROANS)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Why do you hurt me?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I know why. I know why."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Mariska Hargitay, Guru Pitka."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, thank you."
The Love Guru (2008)
"we are establishing the "Mariska Hargitay Special Victims Unit.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"(LAW AND ORDER SOUND EFFECT)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"The whole nine yards."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm beautiful and I have a secret."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Bang."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(PITKA CHUCKLING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Guru Pitka, this is Jane Bullard, owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs."
The Love Guru (2008)
"DICK: Guru Pitka?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Hold on one second."
The Love Guru (2008)
"DICK: Guru Pitka?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"No!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"(STUTTERING)"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Actually, it's Leafs."
The Love Guru (2008)
"How did you get there?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I think I'm gonna have to do a panty check."
The Love Guru (2008)
"No, I am good."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Who is this prick?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Shh."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, how do you do? Shrimp?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"What'd you call me, Jagamo?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your gnome... Name!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I find that term condescending!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Condescending. That's a big word for you."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Your Holiness, you're an expert on love."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Why do you think Darren Roanoke threw away his marriage?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I explain that when love goes wrong..."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Nothing goes right ...nothing goes right."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I've read it. It's impressive."
The Love Guru (2008)
"So, do you think you can come back with us to Toronto in the team jet?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's a date."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Is it, now?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, this kitten's got a whip. Meow!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"This is great, Your Holiness!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I can see you now, spreading your message of self-love"
The Love Guru (2008)
"on Oprah. Oprah!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"He's finally here for the first time on the Oprah show."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Welcome Guru Pitka."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oprah! Come on, Oprah."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Hello."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Thank you very much."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I find your work really inspiring."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Have you read my book on the grieving process?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It's called, What's This? A Dead One of These."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I especially like the chapter, "It Might Just Be Sleeping.""
The Love Guru (2008)
"My favorite."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I've read all your books."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Oh, really?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"What does your husband think about this crush?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I'm not married."
The Love Guru (2008)
"(METAL CLANKING) What was that?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, it's hard to believe a girl like you can't find a man."
The Love Guru (2008)
"great rack, tight bell-shaped ass,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Say."
The Love Guru (2008)
"My problem with men is the Bullard Curse."
The Love Guru (2008)
"What's a Bullard Curse?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"And we haven't won a Stanley Cup since."
The Love Guru (2008)
"So, all the men in the city blame me and my family."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, as I write in my book Stop Hitting Yourself."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Stop Hitting Yourself."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I explain that, people may say bad things about you,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"It would just be easier to change,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"if I didn't have to deal with the city that hates me."
The Love Guru (2008)
"At the arena, I had Maintenance paint lines"
The Love Guru (2008)
"to show me where the crowd can't see me."
The Love Guru (2008)
"and throw stuff at my head."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I mean, I didn't even ask for this job!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Fate is a joke."
The Love Guru (2008)
"And as I once read on a wall, in a truck stop bathroom in Barstow,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Well, to be more accurate, the joke was in Rajneesh's hands."
The Love Guru (2008)
"What?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Nice shooting!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"I am His Holiness, the Guru Pitka."
The Love Guru (2008)
"There ain't no connection between my love life and my hockey."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I just came by to say hello and goodbye."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Goodbye? Yeah."
The Love Guru (2008)
"I spoke with your wife, Prudence."
The Love Guru (2008)
"She broke it off with Grande,"
The Love Guru (2008)
"and now she wants you back!"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Seriously?"
The Love Guru (2008)
"Sure. You don't need me."
The Love Guru (2008)
"Go back to what you were doing."
The Love Guru (2008)
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