Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Mr. Mayor - Avocado Crisis (S01E01)

"."
Mr. Mayor
"Santa Monica, Burbank, Shondaland."
Mr. Mayor
"[soft music playing over speakers]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Shondaland, is that a real place?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yes, but it's not for you, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- Come on, we gotta get back home"
Mr. Mayor
"- And they're all pitching in, but no place on Earth"
Mr. Mayor
"for the "Property Brothers" marathon."
Mr. Mayor
"eats more 'cados than the City of Angels,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, I can't wait; they're finally"
Mr. Mayor
"so I sure do hope that you'll pony up."
Mr. Mayor
"airing the episode where they accidentally kiss."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm sorry, is that just a folksy way of asking for money?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'll make guacamole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"- If you subsidize Hass Farms,"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"I can afford to ship water down from Seattle,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, where are all your avocados?"
Mr. Mayor
"- We haven't gotten any in all week."
Mr. Mayor
"and that place is wetter than an Italian--"
Mr. Mayor
"Those are the last two."
Mr. Mayor
"- No, no, no, no, no."
Mr. Mayor
"- What do you mean, you haven't gotten any?"
Mr. Mayor
"Look, that--that's not a solution."
Mr. Mayor
"Avocados are local."
Mr. Mayor
"That's just a patch."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, give me those. - [scoffs]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey, we're up crap crick here, boss."
Mr. Mayor
"- My children need their healthy fats."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, excuse me, but my daughter was here first,"
Mr. Mayor
"so can I-- - Excuse me,"
Mr. Mayor
"We need a patch,"
Mr. Mayor
"and isn't patches what government does best?"
Mr. Mayor
"I drove in from Santa Monica"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, this avocado thing is a four-quadrant problem."
Mr. Mayor
"because my psychic told me this place had avocados."
Mr. Mayor
"It affects moms, babies, gay-bies, and ag workers."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wait a second."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, some people use avocados"
Mr. Mayor
"The whole city's out of avocados?"
Mr. Mayor
"to trick himself into swallowing pills."
Mr. Mayor
"- A subsidy is a win-win."
Mr. Mayor
"- What? - No, I was asking."
Mr. Mayor
"I get water. People get their 'cados."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, you should--"
Mr. Mayor
"We take a picture in an orchard."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, you all right? - Which way is Mexico?"
Mr. Mayor
"You get all the headlines."
Mr. Mayor
"- Uh-oh, uh-oh. - Security to aisle three."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, a photo op and a positive headline"
Mr. Mayor
"Security to aisle three. - Oh!"
Mr. Mayor
"might not be such a bad thing for you right now."
Mr. Mayor
"[alarm ringing] - Dad, what's going on?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, your first 100 days are almost up,"
Mr. Mayor
"Is there an avocado crisis?"
Mr. Mayor
"and according to all the reporters I've spoken to,"
Mr. Mayor
"[bright music]"
Mr. Mayor
"the current angle is"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
""New mayor is old but rich hot.""
Mr. Mayor
"[bell dinging]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Rich hot? What, like Bezos?"
Mr. Mayor
"- No, not like Bezos. - Exactly, sir, like, Bezos."
Mr. Mayor
"- The agricultural commissioner says the avocado shortage"
Mr. Mayor
"- Look, writing checks to make problems go away"
Mr. Mayor
"is affecting the whole region."
Mr. Mayor
"is not how I do things."
Mr. Mayor
"Supermarkets ran out over the weekend,"
Mr. Mayor
"local Girl Scouts ran out of their vegan"
Mr. Mayor
"both: "Back at my company...""
Mr. Mayor
"- Back at my company, I learned how to do every job"
Mr. Mayor
"Avoca-Go-Girl cookies,"
Mr. Mayor
"and also, Passover's coming up."
Mr. Mayor
"so I could fix every problem."
Mr. Mayor
"- And there won't be guacamole or dragon rolls."
Mr. Mayor
"I learned how to drive a forklift, balance the books."
Mr. Mayor
"LA Judaism's weird."
Mr. Mayor
"After the '94 earthquake,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir. - Hmm."
Mr. Mayor
"my drivers said the roads were not safe,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Adolphus Hass is here to see you."
Mr. Mayor
"so I went out, and I got a Class A"
Mr. Mayor
"- The California 'Cado King?"
Mr. Mayor
"tractor trailer license, and the next day,"
Mr. Mayor
"Good."
Mr. Mayor
"billboards for "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective""
Mr. Mayor
"Look, we're all scared,"
Mr. Mayor
"were all over Southern California."
Mr. Mayor
"but it's gonna be okay."
Mr. Mayor
"[laughter] - All righty, then!"
Mr. Mayor
"This is a business problem,"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughter]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, I'm gonna fix this thing, Adolphus,"
Mr. Mayor
"and solving business problems is my middle name."
Mr. Mayor
"but I'm gonna do it my way."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's beautiful. Is that Polish or--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Whatever I was supposed to be doing today, cancel it."
Mr. Mayor
"when you come to your senses,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Get out of here!"
Mr. Mayor
"you can find me on my farm in the Valley."
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay."
Mr. Mayor
"We don't have time for you!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Or if it's a weekend, Six Flags."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm tall enough to ride everything."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- [yawns]"
Mr. Mayor
"Yee-ha!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Finally."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"God, these interns get worse every year."
Mr. Mayor
"- Borings, they are anything but."
Mr. Mayor
"- [weakly] No, I'm your boss."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey, where the hell have you been?"
Mr. Mayor
"What is water?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I know, rough morning. I haven't been sleeping."
Mr. Mayor
"It's transparent..."
Mr. Mayor
"Neil texts me every time he gets up to pee at night."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, that's too many times."
Mr. Mayor
Show more clips