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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Accidental Text on Purpose (S09E09)

"- Who'd you pick? - I took Marilyn."
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"Let's face it, at this point in our lives,"
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"it's-- it's not so easy to find people to have sex with us."
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"Leon: Hey, vagina always wins."
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"I lost a brother to a vagina."
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"He's quite a feminist, isn't he?"
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"Vagina got his ass."
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"Goodbye."
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"So, if I run into you, are you gonna talk to me"
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"or is this-- this is the last words we're ever gonna exchange?"
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"So, when I see you at the club dinner tomorrow night,"
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"- no communication there whatsoever? - She said to me,"
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"Oh, hey, LD, that Sophia Loren. ( kisses )"
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"- Whoo! - You saw her movie?"
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"Mm-hmm. "Marriage Italian Style.""
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"- Three times. - I told you, right?"
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"- Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. Fuckin' beautiful."
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"Yeah. Oh, jeez."
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"Ugh, my pants are ready."
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"Now I gotta go see that Rhonda."
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"- Something up with that girl. - Mm-hmm."
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"This woman likes me. Lewis's date."
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"- How do you know? - Well, she was quite taken"
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"with my water stance the other night"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- when I-- when I was changing. - She likes you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Yeah, and I gotta go back there tomorrow to pick up my pants."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
""Who are you gonna choose, me or your friend?""
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"I say, "I'm gonna choose my friend.""
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"You dumped me. You chose somebody over me."
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"I'm trying to say goodbye and end this."
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"Okay, goodbye."
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"See ya. See ya, Leon."
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"- All right, get out. - Don't keep talking."
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"- You're standing there. - I'm leaving."
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"- Okay, well, go. - Okay, I'm gonna leave."
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"- I'm waiting. - We're not playing last word."
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"- Bye. - Bye."
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"( sighs )"
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"- One, two, three. - Both: Bye..."
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"- "Ay." - No, don't do that."
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"- Hey, Larry. - Hey."
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"All right, now we just try them on."
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"- Come on. - Oh, um,"
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"- I can just, you know. - Larry, you gotta try them on."
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"They got shortened. We gotta see if they're--"
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"I actually changed my mind about-- I didn't want the pants."
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"These pants look amazing on you."
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"- Come on. - It's not really necessary."
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"- I don't need to try on the pants-- - Larry, you're trying on pants."
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"I think these lay great."
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"- ( phone chimes ) - I think that looks good."
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"I think it's pretty-- oh, excuse me, I'm sorry."
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"( music playing )"
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"Rhonda: I think that looks pretty good."
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"( gasps )"
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"- Oh! - Larry!"
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"- Oh! Oh, I'm-- no! - Oh!"
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"That-- that's from Sophia Loren."
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"Because it was an accident! It was an accidental erection."
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"- What? - It was an accident."
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"No, an accident is tripping on a step,"
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"and then also the Titanic going down."
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"It's the same-- it's the same thing. They're both accidents."
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"This is-- this is really unprofessional."
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"- I'm very uncomfortable right now. - Oh, this is unprofessional?"
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"when I'm changing my pants?"
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"It's called a concierge service."
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"I've never heard of that before in my life."
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"I'd like you to leave, Larry."
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"Here."
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"You know, I gotta say, the waist is a little big."
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"I'll wear them with a belt. I'll put a belt on."
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"- ( TV playing ) - What's the score?"
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"( phone chimes )"
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"( scoffs ) This Dr. Winocur I was telling you about?"
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"So, get a load of this."
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"Even though I had to cut my round of golf short,"
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"Be sure to take all the medicine as I prescribed it.""
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"- Another accidental... - Both: Text on purpose."
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"- Wow. Unbelievable. - Unbelievable."
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"This is some doctor."
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"He was on a plane, there was an emergency, he didn't help out."
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"Person fucking choking, having pains in their chest, you get the fuck up."
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"- You've sworn to a Hippocratic Oath. - Sworn to it. Get the fuck up."
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"Unless they got diarrhea or some shit like that."
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"If they announced that, "Hey, we've got a passenger who has diarrhea"
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"and it's uncontrollable and it's all over the fucking place,""
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"Marty: I think you're gonna have a good time."
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"- Richard: Hey, pervert. - Hey."
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"So you get an erection in the dressing room with Rhonda."
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"- How lovely. - No, Leon sent me a video of an old Sophia Loren movie"
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"from the '60s, and that's what caused it."
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"Rhonda had nothing to do with it."
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"- Leon sent you a movie-- - Yes, yeah."
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"You know how these things happen."
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"Just like you drew a giant cock on the side of your car."
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"He drew a penis on my car?"
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"- This guy's unbelievable. - Who? What guy?"
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"I don't know. I'm having a fight with this guy."
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"He's telling me to wash it, and--"
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"Oh, I don't know what you're fucking talking about."
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"- Now he drew a penis-- - What, did you co-write "Alice in Wonderland"?"
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"- You're a fucking nutcase. - Oh, you think I'm making that up?"
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"You think I go around drawing penises on my car?"
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"- I'd have to be in Bellevue. - She gave me an ultimatum."
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"I know. Everybody has heard about it, believe me."
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"- I chose her. - Huh."
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"So, listen, just stay away from my girlfriend."
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"Girlfriend?"
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"Oh, dear. Premature girlfriend."
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"- Oh, no, I know-- no, no, no. - Listen, Richard,"
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"you know what, I think we're just looking for other things right now."
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"I call everybody girlfriend. It's a thing of mine."
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"Hi, girlfriend. Girlfriend, hi."
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"Honey! Honey, come on."
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"- Please, come on. - Oh, this is nice."
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"- Look who's here. - Nathan: Hey, Larry."
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"- You remember Bebe. - Hi."
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"- Oh, my, hi. Who could forget Bebe? - Good to see you."
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