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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Accidental Text on Purpose (S09E09)

"I mean, I don't know what to do."
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"Both: Oh!"
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"You send me a text,"
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"but you accidentally send it to her on purpose."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"There's nothing wrong with her water. It's perfectly okay.""
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"- I can say anything I want! - Anything!"
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"- Marty: Perfect! - ( text whooshes )"
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"- ( phone chimes ) - Marty: Look!"
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""I love you."
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"What a great man to stick up for me like that.""
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"- Unbelievable. - Thank you."
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"Beautiful."
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"- Oh! - Beautiful!"
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"- Is that a birdie? - Beautiful."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Oh, so when you're losing money, you heed the call, is that it?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"It's just perfume."
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"if you just wave them away."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Did you wave her away? - Sort of, yeah."
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"By the way, I wanted to let you know"
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"I was very impressed that you said something about the water the other day."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Eh, 32. - All right."
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"Leon: Yeah, he's in the kitchen."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Oh, for God's sake."
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"Do you have extra laces in your house?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"No, nobody does."
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"Marilyn told me she saw you in Neiman Marcus"
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"- push the spritz girl. - Of course I did."
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"I got attacked and I pushed."
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"We have a very big problem now."
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"- You wet the end... - I don't care about that."
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"I would've made the same decision."
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"I can't talk to you anymore. I'm gonna miss you."
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""If you communicate with him, I'm gone.""
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"and she wouldn't get out of the dressing room"
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"- You gonna hit it? - No, I'm a loyal friend."
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"When women give me an ultimatum,"
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"- No. - One, two, three."
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"Both: Goodbye."
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"I got your pants. You're all paid for."
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"Oh, great, great."
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"I-- I don't need to try them on."
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"That's not necessary. I'll just take them."
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"Right."
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"- Do you like that break on your sneaker? - Yeah. Yeah."
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"I think that looks good."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"( stammering ) No! That's not from you."
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"Yeah, but just the way the Titanic went down, this thing went up."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"So, you're saying your penis is like the Titanic?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"In a manner of speaking, yes. I think they're-- they're comparable."
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"You think I'm comfortable when you're standing in the dressing room"
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"- I'll go, yeah. - Yeah."
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"Okay. May-- may I have my pants?"
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"Get out."
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"14-7."
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""Hi, Mrs. Downing, it's Dr. Winocur."
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"I'm glad I saw you the other day."
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"They should take this guy's license away."
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"I can see the person sitting there and, "Actually, fuck that."
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"I don't feel like dealing with diarrhea right now.""
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"Marilyn: I hope so. ( laughs )"
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"Marty: I like that outfit you wore. I really do."
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"Just go inside. Ignore him. Do not give him attention."
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"Ignore him? That's a 14-foot-long cock."
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"- They-- they just occur. - Oh, they just occur?"
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"- Fuckin' A... - My God!"
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"...it's 12 feet long."
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"He's drawing stuff on my car, messages."
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"It's either you or her."
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"Funkhouser's girlfriend did the same thing."
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"Who'd you choose?"
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"Oh, well, well."
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"By the way, I got that, uh, "accidental text" you sent me."
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"- Oh, I sent one to Laura Downing. - Oh, yeah."
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"You know, every day is a struggle."
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"Good to hear."
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"Are you sure that was an accidental text?"
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"Yeah, I'm sure."
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"- Yeah, I'm sure. - ( scoffs )"
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"so, uh, you know, have a drink,"
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"relax, make yourself comfortable."
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"We'll be back in just a couple."
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"I don't know. I think somebody on my block drew it."
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"- Jeff: Oh, really? - Yeah."
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"- That is so inappropriate. - Oh, God."
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"Marilyn, just for tonight,"
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"would-- could you give him an exemption"
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"Okay."
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"Hey, this is fun, huh?"
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"I'm having the time of my life."
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"that they want to manipulate you with."
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"- It's bullshit. - Huh."
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"I-- you know, I really don't-- I don't remember doing that."
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"I can't-- I don't even know what to say."
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"I wanna barf every time I get near it."
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"and I cannot stand the taste."
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"Wow, you're the only guy at this table"
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"- ( glass clinking ) - ( chuckles )"
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"- ( laughter ) - We had so many great times with Tip"
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"You sent me an accidental text on purpose."
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"I invented the accidental text, okay?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Sir. Sir! I have a condition."
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"( music playing )"
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"Larry."
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"- Oh! Hey. - Three houses down."
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"Yeah, good-- good to see you."
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"-with that one-star rating. -I'm not one-star. I'm a five."
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"-What? -Yeah."
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"-One-star Larry is really... -LARRY DAVID: Ah, okay."
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"-...really not a popular guy. -Yeah, all right. Okay."
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"Not only is she a beautiful woman...."
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"but more important..."
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"♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪"
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"- Two. - Pssh!"
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"You just gave a premature honey."
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"I gotta tell you something."
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"- A premature honey? - Yeah."
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"Premature, too soon for honey."
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"You gotta spend a weekend together"
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"or something in the country before you can jump to honey."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
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