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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"OLDER TED: Kids, your uncle Barney had been called"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"a lot of names over the years."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Jerk!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CLATTERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GASPS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SHUSHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, I'm not the touchy-feeliest person in the world, but,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Bowl. Bowl. - I understand."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In short, the perfect boyfriend, which, to Robin, meant only one thing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was uncanny."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GRUNTING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, Mabel, let's find you a new home."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Welcome to Robin 101."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"to become a better boyfriend to Robin, which I do not,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"what kind of changes are we talking about?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Okay. - And whatever you do,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"don't cry in front of her four times."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They realized they couldn't talk about this stuff at the bar,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CELL PHONE DINGS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Barney. - What? I'm tweeting about you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I gotta find a way to reach this kid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wasn't me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude! I worked really hard on these slides, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The Flatiron Building. Fun story about it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What? That's not distracting."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh-oh, looks like we got a taker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. That's not a fire hydrant!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, we all know Robin's not what you'd call "touchy-feely.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"give you a little smile and say, "You're an idiot.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- "You're an idiot"? - Yup."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's like taking fashion advice from... Well, Ted Mosby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCOFFS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(YELLING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GROANING) It's me! It's me! It's me!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you have a problem with this class?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh-huh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Correct! And if she achieves that, will she truly be happy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sorry to have wasted your time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sweetie. Can I get you some butterscotch?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I tried to explain to him it wasn't a real class,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, I can't believe you, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I guess I'm impressed by how much you remembered."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's funny."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"knowledge to good use, you know?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've seen him work very hard to get rid of women."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's something that I did want to say to you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Big boobs, small boobs, medium boobs,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The point is... Boobs that pointed in opposite... The point is..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm really scared that you're going to dump me"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You know... - Hmm?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: Hey, guys! If you don't want the barrel, can you sit somewhere else?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bastard!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barack Obama, Jr?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mmm-hmm."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, yes. We can."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But there's one name none of us ever expected to hear him called."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Boyfriend. Barney Stinson is my boyfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've said it, like, 100 times. It still sounds weird to say."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, anything sounds weird if you say it 100 times."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- But other than that, things are good? - Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Bowl. - I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I think Barney's been single for too long. - Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Like, the other night, I wake up at 4:00 a. m..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney, are you awake?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney. This is not a one-night stand. We're dating. Come back to bed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Bowl. Bowl. - That's happened three times."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And it's not just that, it's other things."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey. What's wrong?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was just one thing after another at work today,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and then I found out my aunt's in the hospital."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm just... I'm feeling so overwhelmed and it's just..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What you need to do is talk through this stuff."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then, once you're off the phone with Lily,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'll be down in the bar ready to have sex. Okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"a little more effort would be nice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I guess, in a lot of ways, Barney doesn't stack up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Bowl. Bowl. - I mean, you've had some"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"pretty incredible boyfriends."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No, that's not it. I don't know. - Bowl. Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Maybe he just doesn't have it in him. - Bowl. Bowl. Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Maybe this whole thing's a big mistake. - Bowl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bowl?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- She really said that? - And she meant it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Trust me. I dated Robin for a year. If you don't want to lose her,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you gotta try a little harder."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Be more attentive to where she is emotionally."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, just be present."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes, totally. Yeah. Only thing, and this is just me,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I like my testicles attached to my body, rather than rolling around"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: But then, a funny thing happened."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Over the next couple of weeks, Barney was thoughtful,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"considerate, sweet."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why else would he buy me flowers? He's getting some on the side."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney's not the type of guy who would... Go on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Plus, he keeps saying he's working late."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But when I call his office, they say he left hours ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, that doesn't prove anything."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes. Proof. Good word. I'm glad you brought that up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney's briefcase. He forgot it here this morning."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And what do you plan on doing with it?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We. We, you and I, are going to open it up and look for evidence."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted probably has a sledgehammer around here somewhere."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin Scherbatsky is many things. Friend, confidant,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"occasional guest star in some confusing dreams"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But she is no crazy, jealous stalker-bitch. Let go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, I've been down in the basement storage area going through all the stuff"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that Lily and I left behind when we moved out. I'm sorry, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We should've cleared it out for you much sooner."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's a basement storage area?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're not upset. Good. Baby, guess what I found."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That's great, honey. - What the hell is that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall got it in college. He used it as a nightstand for years."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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