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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Student Transfer (S01E01)

"JANINE: Gooooood morning, Mrs. Howard."
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"I mean "good morning." I know you told me"
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"not to elongate my vowels before we're in school."
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"- Good morning, Janine. - Good morning. So --"
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"- Ms. Howard? - Yes?"
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"Ms. Howard! It is you! Yo!"
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"I would have thought you would have retired by now!"
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"Yo, I just dropped off my nephew and --"
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"Yo, you was always my favorite teacher,"
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"and I never got a chance to thank you"
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"for everything you did for me back in kindergarten."
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"Aw, sweetheart, you don't have to thank me for that."
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"You did this."
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"Of course I need to thank you!"
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"Before I was in your class, everyone would have been like,"
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""Oh, he's gon' be the one that needs to be secured.""
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"But thanks to you, I'm out here securing."
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"(gasps) Well, I am very proud of you."
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"By the way, how is your mother?"
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"Well, that's complicated, but it's gon' mean so much"
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"to my moms that Ms. Howard asked after her."
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"Well, sweetheart, it was so good to see you,"
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"and have a great rest of your day."
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"- You, too, Ms. Howard. - All right."
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"- You too. - Bye."
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"Bye. (chuckles)"
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"See, Mrs. Howard? That is why we do this."
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"Mold those young minds."
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"Just create new lives, make those connections. That --"
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"Sweetheart, I have no idea who that young man was."
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"Morning."
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"(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)"
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"♪"
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"(fingers snapping)"
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"Well, it looks like a classic Schemmenti good mood day."
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"You know it! I got my favorite parking spot,"
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"my macchiato is on point,"
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"and my neighbor finally found her cat,"
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"so no more hearing her cry through the walls."
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"Jacob, are you ready?"
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"(scoffs) I am not just ready,"
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"- I am set and go. - Yes."
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"Ready for what? What's going on?"
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"We have this little tradition where we read"
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"our Grades for Teachers reviews out loud"
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"when a new one comes in."
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"Mine are always just incredibly flattering."
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"There's a Yelp for teachers?"
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"Yeah. Do you want me to help you set up a page?"
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"Because as it says here,"
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"I am excellent at explaining complicated ideas."
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"Oh, no, thanks. That just sounds bad."
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"Hmm."
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"Oh -- Oh, dang. Found a new one."
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"- Okay, okay. - Mm-hmm."
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"What's wrong?"
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"JANINE: Uh, it's -- it's nothing."
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"I just got a C-minus review,"
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"which will bring down my overall average"
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"and (clicks tongue) tarnish my reputation forever."
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"You know? It's like -- It's no big deal, though."
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"Well, if traditions were always easy,"
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"everyone would have them."
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"Everyone does."
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""Nice but lacks experience"
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"compared to the other second-grade teacher at Abbott.""
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"Hey! That's me. The other second-grade teacher at Abbott."
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"(chuckles)"
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"This isn't that bad. One of my reviews was so rude,"
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"the superintendent had to come check on me at home."
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"Yeah, well, that's you, though. I don't get bad reviews."
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"You just did. (chuckles)"
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"(coughs) Girl, please, stop."
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"You're gonna make me spit my coffee out."
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"Okay, look, ignore this. Reviews on a poorly designed website"
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"do not determine what kind of teacher you are."
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"Yeah, no. No, I just can't believe"
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"the entire world can read that I'm a bad teacher."
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"Hey, kid, listen. There's nothing wrong"
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"with having some room for improvement."
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"Just take it from me..."
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"the other, better, more experienced teacher at Abbott."
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"(Barbara and Melissa chuckle)"
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"Melissa plays a lot. She jokes."
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"You know? She's good at it."
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"Just another thing she's better at than me,"
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"according to the reviews."
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"She's a regular Lucille Ball. (chuckles dryly)"
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"(indistinct conversations)"
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"Oh, hey, man. Can you tell me where I can find the mailboxes?"
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"- Oh, I'll show you. - No, you can just tell me."
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"No, no, it's good. It's fine. We can walk together."
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"Ooh, speaking of mail, can we talk USPS?"
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"Have you heard of informed delivery?"
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"What up, ol' curly head Arthur from PBS looking boy?"
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"(boys snicker)"
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"And good morning to you, Raheem."
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"You let them talk to you like that?"
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"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but the boys and I are bonding"
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"in the tradition of playing the dozens."
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"It's also called roasting."
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"Also called, uh, blazing, frying."
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"Hmm. Lot of cooking terminology."
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"Look, man. I'm from Baltimore, okay?"
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"All I know is when somebody roasts you,"
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"you got to roast them back."
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"Our teachers used to roast us."
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"If they didn't, we wouldn't have respected them."
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"You're just getting clowned."
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"Of course I'm being clowned, okay?"
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"I don't know how to roast."
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"It's not that hard."
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"You just kind of have to take what people give you, like..."
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"you ol' mothball- sweater-vest-looking boy."
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"Hmm. Simple yet cutting."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Okay. Thank you."
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"I thought you had to bring way more to the table."
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"In the Dean Martin celebrity roasts --"
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"Where are the mailboxes?"
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"Oh. Yeah. Come on."
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