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Clips from Withnail & I (1987)

"Balls to Monty. We're getting out."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Balls to Monty? I already spent an hour flattering the bugger."
Withnail & I (1987)
"There's a man over there doesn't like the perfume. A big one. Don't look."
Withnail & I (1987)
"We're in danger. We've got to get out."
Withnail & I (1987)
"What fucker said that?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"I called him a ponce,"
Withnail & I (1987)
"and now I'm calling you one."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Ponce!"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Would you like a drink?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"I have a heart condition. I have a heart condition."
Withnail & I (1987)
"If you hit me, it's murder."
Withnail & I (1987)
"My wife is having a baby."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Listen, I don't know what my... acquaintance did to upset you,"
Withnail & I (1987)
"but it's nothing to do with me."
Withnail & I (1987)
"and discuss it sensibly in the street."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Out of my way!"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"without ever getting off the plane."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Time change. You lose. You gain."
Withnail & I (1987)
"But sooner or later, you gotta get out..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"because it's crashing,"
Withnail & I (1987)
"and all at once those frozen hours..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"some miserable cheap cigar, and the bastards won't see me."
Withnail & I (1987)
"It's dinner, and Danny's here."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Danny? How did he get in?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"I let him in this morning. He lost one of his clogs."
Withnail & I (1987)
"He's come in because of this perpetual cold."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Oh, I hope tobacco sales plummet."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Then stick it in a soap tray and save it for later."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Headhunter to everybody. He doesn't have any friends."
Withnail & I (1987)
"The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Will we never be set free?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"St. Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Have you got any food?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Mmm. As a matter of fact, I got a saveloy."
Withnail & I (1987)
"You can have it for nothing."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- I see you're wearing a suit. - What's it got to do with you?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"No need to get uptight, man. I was merely making an observation."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago."
Withnail & I (1987)
"For reasons I can't really discuss with you..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"the Coalman had to go toJamaica."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Had a weight under his fez."
Withnail & I (1987)
"We worked out, it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit."
Withnail & I (1987)
"But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Goes into court in his caftan and a bell."
Withnail & I (1987)
"This doesn't go down at all well."
Withnail & I (1987)
"They can handle the caftan, but they can't handle the bell."
Withnail & I (1987)
"So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like fucking Batman..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"No, man. This was more like a long white hat."
Withnail & I (1987)
"So he looks at the Coalman and says,"
Withnail & I (1987)
""What's all this? This is a court, man. This ain't fancy dress.""
Withnail & I (1987)
"And the Coalman looks at him and says,"
Withnail & I (1987)
""You think you look normal, Your Honor?""
Withnail & I (1987)
"Cunt give him two years."
Withnail & I (1987)
"That's all right, Danny. We decided to lay off for a bit."
Withnail & I (1987)
"As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of retiring and going into business."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Doing what?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"- The toy industry. - I thought you were in the bottle industry."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Instructions are included."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Yeah, my partner's got a really good idea for making dolls."
Withnail & I (1987)
"His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea."
Withnail & I (1987)
"She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Really? - Yeah, and you gotta change its drawers for it."
Withnail & I (1987)
"It's horrible, really. But they like that, little girls."
Withnail & I (1987)
"So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Shits itself? - He's an expert."
Withnail & I (1987)
"He's building the prototype now."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Because a gang of cheeroot vendors considered a haircut beyond my abilities."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I don't advise a haircut, man."
Withnail & I (1987)
"All hairdressers are in the employment of the government."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Hair are your aerials."
Withnail & I (1987)
"They pick up signals from the cosmos..."
Withnail & I (1987)
"and transmit them directly into the brain."
Withnail & I (1987)
"This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."
Withnail & I (1987)
"What absolute twaddle."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Has he just been busted? - No."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Then why is he wearing that old suit?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Old suit? This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything!"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Don't get uptight with me, man."
Withnail & I (1987)
"And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to."
Withnail & I (1987)
"You wouldn't spike me. You're too mean."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Besides, there's nothing invented I couldn't take."
Withnail & I (1987)
"If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumor was a birthday present."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I could take double anything you could."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Very, very foolish words, man."
Withnail & I (1987)
"His mechanism's gone. He's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I'm not having this shag sack insulting me."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Let him get his drugs out."
Withnail & I (1987)
"It has voodoo qualities."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Street, "the embalmer.""
Withnail & I (1987)
"Balls! I'll swallow it and run a mile."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Cool your boots, man. This pill's valued at two quid."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Two quid? You're out of your mind. - That's sense, Withnail."
Withnail & I (1987)
"You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Have either of you got shoes?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"Sit down, do. Would you like a drink?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Sherry. - Sherry."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Sherry? - Sherry."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Do you like vegetables?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"I've always been fond of root crops,"
Withnail & I (1987)
"but I only started to grow last summer."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Chin-chin."
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Do you grow? - Geraniums."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Little traitors."
Withnail & I (1987)
"I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Mmm. The carrot has mystery."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Flowers are essentially tarts,"
Withnail & I (1987)
"prostitutes for the bees."
Withnail & I (1987)
"There is, you will agree, a certain "je ne sai quoi,""
Withnail & I (1987)
"something very special about a firm, young carrot."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Hmm, excuse me."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Do help yourselves to another drink."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Not only that, he's a raving homosexual."
Withnail & I (1987)
"You beastly little parasite! How dare you?"
Withnail & I (1987)
"You little thug! How dare you!"
Withnail & I (1987)
"- Shall I get you a drink? - Yes, yes, yes, please, dear boy."
Withnail & I (1987)
"You must tell me all the news. I haven't seen you since you finished your last show."
Withnail & I (1987)
"Rather busy, Uncle. TV and stuff."
Withnail & I (1987)
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