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Clips from Family Guy(1999) - HTTPete (S16E16)

"Peter? What are you doing?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, I'm your Waze app today."
Family Guy(1999)
"- You on your way to work? - Yeah, I am."
Family Guy(1999)
"All right, you will be there in six minutes."
Family Guy(1999)
"Just start heading straight."
Family Guy(1999)
"Men, creating an entire subway system out of nothing"
Family Guy(1999)
"so that one day, future commuters can be hassled"
Family Guy(1999)
"Especially public masturbators."
Family Guy(1999)
"Look, we're getting a signal."
Family Guy(1999)
"Submitted for your approval:"
Family Guy(1999)
"a restaurant full of people so distracted by their phones,"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"So please welcome someone who's gonna help us reach millennials,"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ Hey! ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ Hey! ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"but millennials think about this stuff."
Family Guy(1999)
"What's that? Sorry, I was taking a selfie"
Family Guy(1999)
"I better do millennial CPR."
Family Guy(1999)
"I've never been to a millennial funeral."
Family Guy(1999)
"And also to you."
Family Guy(1999)
"We've all lost a great friend-slash-barista-"
Family Guy(1999)
"slash-deejay-"
Family Guy(1999)
"Hey, whatever you want. I'm a team player."
Family Guy(1999)
"Roman Polanski..."
Family Guy(1999)
"Hey, hey, hey..."
Family Guy(1999)
"Matt Lauer with the Pudding Pop,"
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh, you want viral? You asked the right guy."
Family Guy(1999)
"They have no attention span."
Family Guy(1999)
"to something longer than six sec..."
Family Guy(1999)
"Good night."
Family Guy(1999)
"the most powerful company in Silicon Valley."
Family Guy(1999)
"so I can find out what the next big thing is."
Family Guy(1999)
"Kick it!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Yeah, I love traveling."
Family Guy(1999)
"All right, the museum is that way,"
Family Guy(1999)
"Now, let's see..."
Family Guy(1999)
"Y-You got to fold on the creases."
Family Guy(1999)
"I did fold it correctly."
Family Guy(1999)
"and now I'm in this mess."
Family Guy(1999)
"Hey, Parker. Are we still on"
Family Guy(1999)
"Where's your nearest bathroom?"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ I'm gonna pee into electrical urinal ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"What the hell is going on?"
Family Guy(1999)
"You idiot."
Family Guy(1999)
"You shut down the entire Internet."
Family Guy(1999)
"Although I was incensed by this man,"
Family Guy(1999)
"I couldn't help but be impressed"
Family Guy(1999)
"Years later, we would bump into each other"
Family Guy(1999)
"But that's a story for another time."
Family Guy(1999)
"Why aren't you looking at your phone, you psycho?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Why is no one liking my posts?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Boston!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Okay, I have a crazy idea."
Family Guy(1999)
"Barely alive."
Family Guy(1999)
"enjoy a disturbingly loud clip of Jimmy Fallon on cab TV."
Family Guy(1999)
"when I force him to play a game meant for children!"
Family Guy(1999)
"Well, that's not gonna work."
Family Guy(1999)
"It's even worse than when I was roommates"
Family Guy(1999)
"What are you talking about?"
Family Guy(1999)
"write it on a piece of paper,"
Family Guy(1999)
"No, he just throws dead birds on his lawn."
Family Guy(1999)
"- Great, let's see 'em. - Sure, buddy."
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy(1999)
"You guys know what this meeting's about?"
Family Guy(1999)
"- No idea. - How about you, Morning Breath Mike?"
Family Guy(1999)
"I have no idea."
Family Guy(1999)
"Listen up, everyone."
Family Guy(1999)
"Sales are down across the board,"
Family Guy(1999)
"but mostly we're failing to connect"
Family Guy(1999)
"with a group called "millennials.""
Family Guy(1999)
"I saw this guy cry one time."
Family Guy(1999)
"To learn more about our target demographic,"
Family Guy(1999)
"we're all gonna watch this instructional video."
Family Guy(1999)
"News on the March"
Family Guy(1999)
"Millennials. Who are they? What do the want?"
Family Guy(1999)
"A millennial can be defined"
Family Guy(1999)
"as anyone born between 1982 and 2000."
Family Guy(1999)
"Or anyone who thinks loving sriracha or Austin, Texas,"
Family Guy(1999)
"counts as a personality."
Family Guy(1999)
"Millennials crave things like:"
Family Guy(1999)
"instant gratification,"
Family Guy(1999)
"authentic experiences,"
Family Guy(1999)
"and, for some reason we haven't figured out yet,"
Family Guy(1999)
"improv comedy."
Family Guy(1999)
"Here's one millennial who has a parakeet"
Family Guy(1999)
"with nine million followers on Snapchat."
Family Guy(1999)
"Here's another who singlehandedly started"
Family Guy(1999)
"the hashtags that cancelled 12 network TV shows"
Family Guy(1999)
"she found offensive."
Family Guy(1999)
"And now I'm told she identifies as a man,"
Family Guy(1999)
"so I'm being fired."
Family Guy(1999)
"Hello. I'm your new announcer."
Family Guy(1999)
"And actually, he was just about done."
Family Guy(1999)
"Thank you and good day."
Family Guy(1999)
"our new head of social media, Hammer."
Family Guy(1999)
"Oh. He just group-texted us "hello.""
Family Guy(1999)
"And now here comes a text"
Family Guy(1999)
"from the guy who doesn't know this is a group text."
Family Guy(1999)
""Nice to meet you, Hammer. Let's have lunch later,"
Family Guy(1999)
"and I'll tell you who's gay.""
Family Guy(1999)
"Right on. 'Sup? I'm Hammer."
Family Guy(1999)
"Uh, first I'd like to not thank you for hiring me,"
Family Guy(1999)
"because I just expect good things to happen to me"
Family Guy(1999)
"without working for them."
Family Guy(1999)
"Second, I'd like to give you all a list of my trigger warnings."
Family Guy(1999)
"What's a trigger warning?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Actually, brah, asking me what a trigger warning is"
Family Guy(1999)
"is one of my triggers, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"I feel traumatized, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"And now I'm tweeting about you, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"And now you're trending, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"And now your life is ruined, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"And now you're fired, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
"What... what happened to Brah?"
Family Guy(1999)
"Also, the lack of diversity here is horrifying, brah."
Family Guy(1999)
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