Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Louie - Night Out (S01E01)

"...but I don't wanna hear it. I want them to be asleep."
Louie
"Birds are like paintbrushes that make colors in the sky."
Louie
"Just shut your goddamn mouth!"
Louie
"I will kill a bird in front of you."
Louie
"Jesus."
Louie
"Oh, shit, that's right."
Louie
"Karen, hi. Hi."
Louie
"Hey, uh, ahem...."
Louie
"I kind of forgot that I called you."
Louie
"Are you crying? No. Hi."
Louie
"Are the girls asleep?"
Louie
"Yeah, they just.... I just put them down."
Louie
"Well, I'm not gonna be long."
Louie
"I don't really have anywhere to go."
Louie
"So I just thought I could use the night out. It's funny, I just forgot."
Louie
"Hey, Karen. Ahem. I got nowhere to go."
Louie
"Let me pay you like you've been here for a couple hours."
Louie
"You can just go home, but-- Louie, please just get out of here."
Louie
"What? Just go."
Louie
"You do this all the time, you don't go anywhere."
Louie
"Well, why do you care?"
Louie
"Because it's depressing. It's just sad."
Louie
"You can't just be all by yourself all the time."
Louie
"Look, Karen, thank you, but I'm okay. I got the girls and I'm fine."
Louie
"You think the girls don't know you're alone?"
Louie
"Do you want to teach them that a good man just has nobody?"
Louie
"You have to be whole for them."
Louie
"Be with somebody who's gonna care for you."
Louie
"A man needs that."
Louie
"It's none of my business, but I can't just sit here and watch you waiting to die."
Louie
"I didn't realize I was--"
Louie
"Please just get out of here and try to get laid."
Louie
"Just have fun."
Louie
"Meet someone, you know?"
Louie
"If you don't give a shit about yourself..."
Louie
"...do it so the girls won't have a depressing loser for a father."
Louie
"Just go. Okay, all right."
Louie
"I don't have anywhere to go, but I'll try."
Louie
"It's okay. Take it easy, okay? I'm fine, I'm fine."
Louie
"But why don't you just--? You're lying to me."
Louie
"Give me a chance. If you're not gonna lie."
Louie
"You never let me say what I have to say."
Louie
"Well, then tell me. Do you always have to interrupt me?"
Louie
"Because you are a liar. Can I talk? Can I talk?"
Louie
"Hi, how you doing?"
Louie
"Are you, um...? Are you in the Army or...?"
Louie
"I got nothing, man. What was that?"
Louie
"You know what? You gotta hang out with those black comics."
Louie
"Those guys know how to get laid."
Louie
"Watch how they go after these chicks. It's unbelievable."
Louie
"I'm not going to that club."
Louie
"Man, I know the doorman. We get in real quick."
Louie
"Hey, what's up, ladies? How y'all doing? So where we going tonight?"
Louie
"Come on, we going to a club, we going out? What's up?"
Louie
"Let's go, let's go. Come on."
Louie
"What's your name, boo? Let's see, Lisa."
Louie
"Nick's right. You gotta be like that."
Louie
"You gotta be confident, black, handsome, not boring."
Louie
"Don't wear that shirt."
Louie
"Hey, guys. Oh, what's up, C.K.?"
Louie
"Hey, man, can I hang out with you tonight?"
Louie
"You want to hang out with us?"
Louie
"Listen, man, I know that I'm older and I don't really run at your speed and...."
Louie
"You know how to do this whole thing and I don't really know."
Louie
"Never mind. Thanks anyway."
Louie
"No, no, no. Come back, come back."
Louie
"We got you. Thank you."
Louie
"We gonna find you something. All right."
Louie
"Ladies, this is Louie C.K. He's gonna be hanging out with us tonight."
Louie
"Yeah. He's 40 years old."
Louie
"Oh, my God. Seriously?"
Louie
"I'm actually 42. Yeah, I'm old."
Louie
"Let's go. Okay."
Louie
"Yo! What up, big cousin? All right."
Louie
"Pardon me. Get by you. Sorry about that."
Louie
"All right, excuse me. How you doing? You look good, girl. My man, my man."
Louie
"Hey! What's up, dude? All right, what's up?"
Louie
"Come on, man. Damn."
Louie
"What's up, boy? Come on, man."
Louie
"Live comedy, check it out."
Louie
"Who likes comedy?"
Louie
"Hey, man. What's up, bro?"
Louie
"How you doing? How's it going?"
Louie
"Got a crowd in there? Pfft. Crowd's like 12 drunks."
Louie
"There's an Israeli couple making out in the back."
Louie
"Wanna do some time?"
Louie
"Can I do five minutes? Yeah."
Louie
"Thanks. Yeah."
Louie
"I got divorced about a year ago and it's kind of--"
Louie
"So it's like they just give you your old suit back..."
Louie
"You get a little paper bag with what shit you had in your pockets."
Louie
"They give you about $8 and drop you off at the bus station."
Louie
"And you gotta learn how to reenter society."
Louie
"Now, I'm not saying that I'm gonna carve my name on a beam and hang myself."
Louie
"It's not quite that bad, but I definitely.... Here's the thing."
Louie
"I'm 42, I'm really good at masturbating."
Louie
"I'm like the best masturbator on the planet Earth."
Louie
"There is nobody better at that than me, so I'm gonna continue to excel at that."
Louie
"I'm gonna focus on that and raising my children."
Louie
"I know it's not nice to say both those things in one sentence..."
Louie
"Hey, Karen."
Louie
"Hey. Karen, wake up. Hi."
Louie
"Wow, so you had fun, huh? Yeah, yeah, I was out."
Louie
"Chick with big boobs and we, you know, made out."
Louie
"It was great. So thank you."
Louie
"Uh-- You were right, I really needed to get out."
Louie
"So great. Thanks, here you go. And sorry that I'm late."
Louie
"Daddy. Hey."
Louie
"Good morning, Daddy."
Louie
"I'm hungry."
Louie
"You're hungry?"
Louie
"Daddy, can we go out to breakfast?"
Louie
"You want to go out to breakfast now?"
Louie
"You had a bad night"
Louie
"You had a real bad night"
Louie
"The kind of night Where you wish"
Louie
"You didn't have to have Anymore nights"
Louie
"You had a bad night"
Louie
"Boy, was that a shitty, Shitty night"
Louie
"Wasn't your first And it wasn't your worst"
Louie
Show more clips