Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Louie - Night Out (S01E01)

"...because I have had a really nice time tonight."
Louie
"I have a kid."
Louie
"I do, but, you know, I gotta say, it's really hard to get to know somebody--"
Louie
"This is really funny because I have something to tell you too."
Louie
"Lilly, 9 years old, and Jane is 4."
Louie
"Wow, that's a lot."
Louie
"But, uh...."
Louie
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna cry"
Louie
"...and she sat on the bench too..."
Louie
"I'm not gonna sing a song. Just go to sleep. I'm tired."
Louie
"I'm not singing."
Louie
"I love my kids, but at the end of the day, I got nothing left..."
Louie
"The other night, I was like, They're asleep. Then I hear, Daddy?"
Louie
"Honey, shut your mouth right now."
Louie
"Yes. You're never gonna--"
Louie
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Louie
"So you wanna hang out with the brothers so you can get some pussy, huh?"
Louie
"You can hang with us. We're gonna get you laid tonight."
Louie
"You know, divorce is not--"
Louie
"It's like being free, but on the other end of a long prison term."
Louie
"...that you wore at court when you got convicted."
Louie
"...but they happen to be the two things that I do the best."
Louie
"It was crazy. Uh-- Partied and got drunk."
Louie
"I didn't mean to keep you up. No, I'm glad."
Louie
"Good, good. I just don't want you to be alone."
Louie
"I know, I know. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot, babe."
Louie
"Good morning? It's 4:00 in the morning. Why are you guys...? Why are you awake?"
Louie
"Now the night is over Bring back the sky"
Louie
"Will say they know just"
Louie
"How a bad night"
Louie
"Anyway, I'm not.... I'm not gonna do that again."
Louie
"That's a good one."
Louie
"So listen, I have something that I think I should tell you."
Louie
"Okay."
Louie
"It's kind of weird, and I hope you don't mind that I haven't told you yet, it's just--"
Louie
"Well, I mean, look, really, I'm telling you now..."
Louie
"I like you."
Louie
"You do? Yeah."
Louie
"That is weird."
Louie
"I just.... I mean, I'd like to, you know, do this again."
Louie
"Really? Yeah."
Louie
"So do I. I'd love to see you again. Yeah."
Louie
"That-- Wow."
Louie
"That's nice, because you're telling me in the middle of the date."
Louie
"Is that what you wanted to tell me? No."
Louie
"No, that's why I wanna tell you what I'm going to tell you."
Louie
"Please, go ahead."
Louie
"Well.... Oh."
Louie
"You do? Yeah."
Louie
"And it's just weird to tell someone that when you first meet them."
Louie
"Guys can get really weird about it."
Louie
"No, no, no. It's okay, it's okay."
Louie
"I get why somebody would be weird about it."
Louie
"Lisa, listen. You know, when you don't--"
Louie
"Listen, you have a kid. That's great."
Louie
"I mean, what do you have, how old?"
Louie
"He's a boy. His name is Jack. He's 6 years old."
Louie
"Really, 6 years old? Yeah."
Louie
"So, what, kindergarten, first grade? First grade."
Louie
"That's a great age."
Louie
"That's such a great time."
Louie
"Wow, you...."
Louie
"You're just being so great about this."
Louie
"Well, listen, I, uh.... I guess...."
Louie
"Yeah? What? What's that?"
Louie
"Well, I, uh-- I have two kids."
Louie
"You do? Yeah, I've got two girls."
Louie
"It's hilarious..."
Louie
"...because all night we've been not telling each other something and it was the same--"
Louie
"I just don't think I can take this on right now."
Louie
"A guy with.... A guy with kids?"
Louie
"Yeah, I just...."
Louie
"Yeah, that's kind of a bummer."
Louie
"It's a bummer?"
Louie
"Well, I guess I thought you...."
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna die"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"And so the squirrel and the dog waited for the bus."
Louie
"And they waited and waited. The bus must've been delayed..."
Louie
"...because it was taking a very long time."
Louie
"And they just waited and they waited for the bus."
Louie
"Daddy, this story is boring."
Louie
"Shh. It's supposed to be boring."
Louie
"I'm trying to put you to sleep, that's why it's boring."
Louie
"And so they waited for the bus and then an old woman came along..."
Louie
"...and then she waited for the bus and they all waited for the bus."
Louie
"Daddy, this story is so boring that it's keeping me awake."
Louie
"Sing a song, Daddy."
Louie
"I sang already for a half an hour, girls."
Louie
"No, sing a song. I'm not gonna sing."
Louie
"- No, yes, you are. - Sing a song."
Louie
"Please. Just go to sleep."
Louie
"No, sing."
Louie
"Sing."
Louie
"Are you seriously crying because I'm not gonna sing?"
Louie
"Putting the kids to bed is torture."
Louie
"That's the hardest thing in the world to do. They don't wanna sleep."
Louie
"It's important that they sleep, otherwise they're just pieces of shit the next day."
Louie
"I want to sleep. I just wanna stop them, I want it to stop."
Louie
"...and they're laying there like Clockwork Orange."
Louie
"They have no interest in going to sleep."
Louie
"I just wanna stop their ceaseless joy for life..."
Louie
"...so I can watch Cash Cab and jack off and pass out."
Louie
"I want the joy and challenge of ******* parenthood to end..."
Louie
"...so I can go eat all the ice cream in the freezer..."
Louie
"...that they have no idea is there."
Louie
"And it would break their hearts if they knew how much ice cream I keep in the house."
Louie
"It's like a restaurant. It's a disgusting amount of ice cream."
Louie
"And it's not for them. I never give them ice cream."
Louie
"It's mine."
Louie
"I wait till they're asleep..."
Louie
"...and I eat it in their room above their beds in the dark."
Louie
"That's right, it's mine."
Louie
"They won't fall asleep. They say all sorts of cool stuff at night..."
Louie
Show more clips