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Clips from Louie (2010) - Dogpound (S01E01)

"Hey, are you a comedian?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah. Ha-ha. That's weird."
Louie (2010)
"No. Why not?"
Louie (2010)
"What's the matter, man? You seem depressed."
Louie (2010)
"Because you're a huge bummer. You're, like, a huge, huge bummer."
Louie (2010)
"You know what, man? You're right."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry I came in here and bothered you. I used to get high when I was a kid."
Louie (2010)
"I'm just having a bad day."
Louie (2010)
"Well, this is probably gonna sound cliche, but you should just try to enjoy yourself."
Louie (2010)
"You said you used to get high? Why'd you stop?"
Louie (2010)
"Did you like it when you used to get high?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, a lot, but, you know, I'm a dad."
Louie (2010)
"You're having some of this."
Louie (2010)
"Wow."
Louie (2010)
"It's been a long time. That's--"
Louie (2010)
"Really good pot. Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"You're probably feeling high already. Shit, yeah."
Louie (2010)
"You all right? I think maybe I'm getting a bit too high."
Louie (2010)
"No, no, no. Here."
Louie (2010)
"He's been sitting here the whole time. No, no, no. That's not--"
Louie (2010)
"That's different than the dog that was sitting there when I came in."
Louie (2010)
"A different dog?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, that's not the s-- That dog is-- I'm-- Is different."
Louie (2010)
"Well, yeah, sure, he's different. He's been through a lot since you got here."
Louie (2010)
"His mother died like two minutes ago. No, dude, seriously, which dog is that?"
Louie (2010)
"Which dog? Yeah. Which dog?"
Louie (2010)
"Which dog is that?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey, wanna see something really cool? Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, come over here."
Louie (2010)
"I love that."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, man, I think maybe I'm too high."
Louie (2010)
"What's with my hands? They're not...."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, shit. That is too high."
Louie (2010)
"You better stop smoking marijuana."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, you wanna try the motor bong?"
Louie (2010)
"It was just really frustrating."
Louie (2010)
"No one was even listening to me in there."
Louie (2010)
"They were just looking at my vagina. Tell me about it."
Louie (2010)
"I wish there was a way to-- Cover your vagina?"
Louie (2010)
"What? Cover your vagina."
Louie (2010)
"You mean, like, hide it?"
Louie (2010)
"Try this."
Louie (2010)
"So, as you can see from the annual report on Page 6..."
Louie (2010)
"I know."
Louie (2010)
"Stephanie. It's stupah. I don't have a denana."
Louie (2010)
"I totally got a denana a banan danana."
Louie (2010)
"I know. It's stupah. I don't..."
Louie (2010)
"Obama."
Louie (2010)
"What?"
Louie (2010)
"Ahem. Coffee, please. Just coffee."
Louie (2010)
"I gotta get a dog."
Louie (2010)
"Hi. Hey."
Louie (2010)
"So these are the puppies that we have right now."
Louie (2010)
"They're all kind of pit bulls."
Louie (2010)
"Well, the pit bull thing is a myth. You should know that."
Louie (2010)
"I'm divorced."
Louie (2010)
"Older? Everybody who comes in here..."
Louie (2010)
"...wants a puppy..."
Louie (2010)
"...but we have a bunch of old dogs that nobody wants."
Louie (2010)
"It's really sad."
Louie (2010)
"Nobody, I mean, nobody, wants an old dog..."
Louie (2010)
"...but I love the older dogs because they're distinguished, noble."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, Bear."
Louie (2010)
"So this is Bear."
Louie (2010)
"Hi, Bear."
Louie (2010)
"I love Bear."
Louie (2010)
"Aww. You like that?"
Louie (2010)
"Huh, Bear?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah? You like that, huh?"
Louie (2010)
"He loves this."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and take Bear."
Louie (2010)
"All right, boy."
Louie (2010)
"Hey there, Bear."
Louie (2010)
"What do you think, huh?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, what a nice dog."
Louie (2010)
"This is your new home, pal."
Louie (2010)
"Here. Have a seat. Sit."
Louie (2010)
"Good boy."
Louie (2010)
"What a sweetie. Mwah."
Louie (2010)
"We'll get you some water there."
Louie (2010)
"I'll bet you're thirsty."
Louie (2010)
"Can't wait for the girls to meet you."
Louie (2010)
"They're gonna love you."
Louie (2010)
"They're coming home today."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Want a drink of water, pal?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God."
Louie (2010)
"What are you gonna do with him? What do you think?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Daddy!"
Louie (2010)
"Hi. Daddy."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, girls."
Louie (2010)
"See you. - Bye."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, did you guys have a good week? - Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Did you have a good week, Daddy? I did. Thank you for asking."
Louie (2010)
"Every day you spend with your kids is torture."
Louie (2010)
"And it's because I love them. If I didn't love them, it wouldn't matter."
Louie (2010)
"I'd just play poker with my friends, come home later:"
Louie (2010)
""Oh, they're dead.""
Louie (2010)
"But I love them."
Louie (2010)
"I wiped my daughter's ass for the last time on May 13th of 2008."
Louie (2010)
"I remember this moment because it was a big moment in my life."
Louie (2010)
"When you have children, they start as babies, and they shit all over the place."
Louie (2010)
"But then, finally, they can use a toilet."
Louie (2010)
"But they can't wipe their ass. You have to wipe their ass."
Louie (2010)
"And one day, it stops. And I remember the day--"
Louie (2010)
"I said the date, but I don't remember now, because I'm lying."
Louie (2010)
"But-- Because I had always wiped her ass all that time, and it's just a thing you do."
Louie (2010)
"I didn't think about it. "Daddy, I need a wipe!""
Louie (2010)
"Then I'd come in, I'm on the phone, like, "Yeah, okay, so....""
Louie (2010)
"Anyway, so I wiped her ass one day, and she said:"
Louie (2010)
"And I was like-- That was a little too eloquent..."
Louie (2010)
"...a thank-you, for somebody who I just wiped shit out of her asshole."
Louie (2010)
"I wanna hear, like, "Thank you, Dada.""
Louie (2010)
"I don't wanna hear, like, "That was very gracious of you, Father."
Louie (2010)
"Oh."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, you asshole."
Louie (2010)
"Oh."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God. I wanna shit right in my own face."
Louie (2010)
"It's getting up at 6:00 in the morning, which--"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah. No, seriously."
Louie (2010)
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