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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Unholy War (S01E01)

"Chale just got off the phone with his parents."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, please tell me June 17th works for the wedding."
Kevin Can Wait
"and last month, she killed a dairy cow."
Kevin Can Wait
"The 17th is on."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey, honey, um, looks like June 17th for the wedding,"
Kevin Can Wait
"so let's talk to Father Philip about reserving the church."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mets are playing the Padres,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, exactly... It's a family, Donna."
Kevin Can Wait
"That's three kids you got to get buckled in,"
Kevin Can Wait
"hand out juice boxes before you even start the car."
Kevin Can Wait
"11:00... single male headed towards his Corolla."
Kevin Can Wait
"Car's about to pull out."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right."
Kevin Can Wait
"Aah! Old lady."
Kevin Can Wait
"That was my spot! That son of a..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Church, Dad! Yep. Gotcha."
Kevin Can Wait
"Who's Terry Tabasco?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I don't hate him, okay? I don't hate anybody."
Kevin Can Wait
"Were you waiting for that spot?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay. If I was you, I'd park it at Dunkin' Donuts."
Kevin Can Wait
"so, uh, why don't you go find some seats, okay?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Terry! I hear Bridget's engaged!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, you know, we call this in theology "awkward.""
Kevin Can Wait
"Wait... But I... But I waved,"
Kevin Can Wait
"which is sign language for "We need to talk," so..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Um, I've got a ton of deaf friends."
Kevin Can Wait
"Pretty sure that's not true."
Kevin Can Wait
"like some families are."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mostly because of your teachings, Father."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Of course not. - No!"
Kevin Can Wait
"and so it's really the only date"
Kevin Can Wait
"that works for all of us."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Well, neither can we. - But..."
Kevin Can Wait
"- because, listen to me... - Well, well..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Guys, guys, guys, please. Let me think about this."
Kevin Can Wait
"Sister Mary polished off the Red Bull."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Absolutely. Thank you, Father. - God bless. Thank you, Father."
Kevin Can Wait
"Everybody. Blessings, blessings. Blessings."
Kevin Can Wait
"who crushed in the dance competition"
Kevin Can Wait
"Pfft! Robot. Who knew?"
Kevin Can Wait
"so, bottom line, he's not gonna be able to host"
Kevin Can Wait
"this Saturday's pancake breakfast."
Kevin Can Wait
"Sign-up sheet for that is on the bulletin board in the hallway."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, you ain't got a shot at getting that date."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know why? 'Cause once Father Philip sees me..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Whoa. Nice tool belt."
Kevin Can Wait
"Is that the last belt you got that fits?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Just doing a little volunteering down at the church."
Kevin Can Wait
"Ah, it's been, what, uh, got to be three days, huh, hon?"
Kevin Can Wait
"We didn't want to tell you, but the Labascos"
Kevin Can Wait
"We're gonna get you the date, all right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"you take him down."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, he's going down "good people" style."
Kevin Can Wait
"so, uh, we can lock you in."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hello, Chalie-puss!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hello, Mums."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh. Hello, Kendra."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hello."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Uh... - Okay, uh, I'll let you guys go,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Bye, guys! I can't wait to see..."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know, if I didn't know any better,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey, that's not true!"
Kevin Can Wait
"and I have had to suffer for a year."
Kevin Can Wait
"Like it's been that bad."
Kevin Can Wait
"What?!"
Kevin Can Wait
"With your father?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, don't touch it."
Kevin Can Wait
"Guy, if that's the last ice cream sandwich,"
Kevin Can Wait
"He threatened to kill me over ice cream."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, great. Thank you for reminding me."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right, you know what? I got to go to work."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, right back at you, Chalie-puss."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, hey, Father Philip."
Kevin Can Wait
"You bring it down."
Kevin Can Wait
"Very nice, Kevin. Thank you."
Kevin Can Wait
"so I just want you to know that."
Kevin Can Wait
"They look a little crooked. Maybe it's me."
Kevin Can Wait
"I could buff those out in the blink of an eyeball."
Kevin Can Wait
"Really not necessary."
Kevin Can Wait
"That's a cute little machine you got there."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, you know what, Labasco?"
Kevin Can Wait
"You're not winning this thing. I am."
Kevin Can Wait
"Why don't you do yourself and that poor machine a favor?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Here's something you don't know about me."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey! Hey! Hey!"
Kevin Can Wait
"No, I-I was just cleaning the floors."
Kevin Can Wait
"We're gonna die?"
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"Let's stretch things out... Let's get the arms going,"
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"Is God real? 'Cause my uncle says he's not."
Kevin Can Wait
"Of course God's real."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, um..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mookie Wilson hits an easy ground ball"
Kevin Can Wait
"towards first base that will end it all."
Kevin Can Wait
"and God heard me."
Kevin Can Wait
"Um, didn't people also pray for the Red Sox to win?"
Kevin Can Wait
"and then I get to this stuff."
Kevin Can Wait
"Actually, Father, if you don't mind, uh..."
Kevin Can Wait
"He's in our heart, He's in our minds,"
Kevin Can Wait
"Actually, that is spot-on."
Kevin Can Wait
"That a-and... And the Mets."
Kevin Can Wait
"We need to up our game."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm gonna make a pan of my famous teriyaki chicken."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hmm?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oof."
Kevin Can Wait
"for me not being able to go to work the next day."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay. That's one word."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Hey, guys. - Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"have been trying really hard to get that wedding date..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, well, we were actually thinking, you know,"
Kevin Can Wait
"That's a good one, Father."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah."
Kevin Can Wait
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
Kevin Can Wait
"Who knew that Kevin Gable would turn out to be a good guy?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Go on."
Kevin Can Wait
"Back in the day, I was so jealous of him."
Kevin Can Wait
"And I know, Father, I should be charitable"
Kevin Can Wait
"and just let him have it."
Kevin Can Wait
"authentic Italian lasagna!"
Kevin Can Wait
"He... has a heart condition."
Kevin Can Wait
"What?"
Kevin Can Wait
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