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Clips from Peep Show - Jeremy Makes It (S02E02)

"'And it's worked."
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"'Oh, God, he's taunting me! I should've made him a cup of tea when I had one."
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"'Hurrah! It was a joke! Hilarious! '"
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"Sure you don't need a loan? Maybe for some therapy to help you shpeak pwoperly."
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"I don't know about you, but I'm so bored I could eat a fucking stapler!"
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"'This is bloody brilliant! I'm having fun!"
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"'And I'm not thinking about Sophie! '"
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"- Go on. - I can't!"
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"- Just imagine it's lan's cock. - Ha-ha-ha!"
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"'Maybe there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just a normal human being! '"
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"'Please like my music, you lanky wanker! '"
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"'Please, please let me do the music for your Honda film! '"
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"- Want another beer? - Sure."
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"These are my guys. They had to pull a latey, so I invited them round. I've got a fridge full of beers."
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"This way I get to keep an eye on, which is cool!"
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"Very cool. So, about the track..."
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"You know what I fancy? A kebab. Will you go down and get me a kebab?"
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"- No! - I can't believe you were going to get me one!"
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"Really?"
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"No! I'm shitting you, Jez!"
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"Right."
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"'Shit, what if they bring in forensics? '"
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"Oh, hell, I probably shouldn't have done that, should I? My prints'll be all over it now."
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"it has to be treated as a racial incident."
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"Ian's a? A racial incident?"
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"But... why?"
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"Oh, come on, Mark. Germans?"
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"And they're treating it as a racial incident? Next you won't be able to get a black coffee!"
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"Exactly! And they'll have a bloody EU banana-straightening machine"
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"to straighten all the bananas!"
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"Take that Sophie, going over to Jeff's like that right in your face."
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"Yeah, I suppose she is a bit of a... bitch."
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"Too right. Ask Clarkson. Clarkson knows."
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"'Good old Clarkson! '"
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"Don't fancy a Chinky. Have you got a pizza menu?"
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"I'd like to see 'em run like that carrying real Sten guns."
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"- Yeah? Do you know about? - Just re-enactments. It's cool, we do WW2 stuff."
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"Re-enactments?"
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"'God, what is he taking?"
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"What?"
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"What's Hans doing?"
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"Look, I don't want to make a scene..."
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"What?"
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"It's Gog. I got the commission!"
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"I've got a commission! It's big and it's fat and it's going right up your white-bread arse!"
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"Jez, for God's sake, I'm pleased for you!"
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"Boring? What, cos he doesn't go around with... a haircut"
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"Strap-on?"
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"It's an example."
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"Sorry, excuse me, I ordered three pilau rice and three peshwari naans."
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"It's not all right. Bring us three pilau rice and four peshwari naans, please."
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"I've shared enough rice with you, Mark. I'm in the big league now."
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"Four naan, Jeremy? Four? That's insane."
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"So, what am I going to pay you to do in my band?"
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"what are you going to do?"
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"Mm-hm. Or I was sort of hoping you'd say you want to be the manager."
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"You could order me around, which you'd enjoy, but I'd be your boss."
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"Could be kind of confusing, in a good way."
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"Aaaaah!"
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"Aah..."
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"That's not funny, Daryl. Repeat, not funny!"
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"Ooh!"
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"Too good for the cone, are we? We're having a laugh, Jeremy, a bloody good laugh!"
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"Bet we're having a much better time than Sophie is right now."
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"I'll tell you what. I'll tell you where we should go now."
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"Or... or we could make a special delivery for Jeff Heaney."
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"Daryl, what are you? No! Don't!"
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"Oh, piss."
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"What we need to do is create a powerful sense of dread."
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"See, the longer the note, the more dread."
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"Yeah, OK. Right, ready? One, two, three, let's go!"
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"They're gonna get you, baby They're coming after you"
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"They're comin' after you-ou..."
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"Yes, exactly. Exactly."
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"What, so next you're gonna boot me out for not wearing a jacket and tie?"
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"- Jez, is there anything I can? - It's under control. Please go behind the glass."
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"But, as your manager..."
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"Just get back behind the glass. There is a very clear, if invisible, line,"
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"here be beauty, there be... pie charts. OK?"
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"Yeah, well, if you're leaving now, don't even fucking dream of coming back!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Exactly my feeling. Exactly."
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"Democracy's all very well, but it's weak and it's decadent. You need a strong leader."
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"Er..."
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"Oh! Er, yes, yes, right. Yes. The Fatherland needs the Fuhrer."
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"Might as well be checking out fucking seed drills in a farm museum."
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"Still, it's nice to get out of the city, isn't it?"
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"Oh, er, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what we all want, a racially pure nation."
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"You mean... Germany for the Germans?"
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"You mean... This is... Are we?"
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"Is this... real now?"
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"Heil Hitler!"
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"You're not supposed to do that, Daryl!"
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"I was really, really, really pleased with the track, once we got that weird hiss off."
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"'I've got to cut the link. Daryl is definitely beyond.'"
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"'Or maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe everyone does it, and it's cool and Ali G"
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"Fine. It's totally fine, mate. Honestly."
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"From... Er... no, I'm all right, thanks."
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"The "Paki shop"?"
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"Mark, what the hell are you talking about?"
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"Well, no."
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"controlling everything?"
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"As it turns out... Daryl is a racist."
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"You mean you didn't confront him?"
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"but maybe I should... confront him... again, more."
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"- Tell him I'm not here! - Why?"
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"Because I didn't confront him, all right?"
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"Oh, hi, Daryl."
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"'Because that's what we eat nowadays while you're chomping on your racist carrots.'"
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"and he got the wrong window... You know the rest."
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"Sorry I'm late, everyone. >"
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"Hi..."
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"Is your mobile broke? I've not been able to get you for days."
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"Hey, they do chicken wings! I love chicken wings."
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"Just thought we should come here for a bit of a bonding sesh."
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"- Anyone see the game last night? - Er, no."
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"Brilliant, wasn't he? When are people finally gonna admit that you lot are better at sports?"
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"- "You lot"? - He means guys like you who are French."
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"I'm busy, you're busy..."
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"I just think maybe we should stop seeing each other so much."
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