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Clips from MacGyver - Fish Scaler (S01E01)

"Which was the joke."
MacGyver
"- Oh. - Never mind."
MacGyver
"Have a seat. It's time for your evaluation."
MacGyver
"Well, MacGyver and Jack just caught Bishop and they said that..."
MacGyver
"He was framed by a dirty fed for murder."
MacGyver
"Yeah. I'm on comms, too."
MacGyver
"Then is now the best time for an evaluation?"
MacGyver
"Sit."
MacGyver
"So you were in federal prison,"
MacGyver
"and then a traitor pulls some strings"
MacGyver
"and you get early release."
MacGyver
"Well, actually, it was Jack's idea to get me out, so..."
MacGyver
"Um..."
MacGyver
"yes?"
MacGyver
"So you hacked the NSA"
MacGyver
"not once, but twice."
MacGyver
"Your latest time while working here at Phoenix."
MacGyver
"What's not in your file,"
MacGyver
"is that a year before your first NSA hack,"
MacGyver
"you hacked the Pentagon."
MacGyver
"Or should I call you Artemis37?"
MacGyver
"You used a different handle"
MacGyver
"and you went to some extreme lengths to anonymize yourself."
MacGyver
"But I know it was you."
MacGyver
"I also know that you snooped around a little bit"
MacGyver
"and you didn't steal any files."
MacGyver
"But what I don't know is why."
MacGyver
"Look..."
MacGyver
"I'll admit I've made some really bad decisions."
MacGyver
"But since I joined Phoenix, for the first time,"
MacGyver
"I've had the opportunity to do the right thing,"
MacGyver
"to be one of the good guys."
MacGyver
"This job is a second chance for me."
MacGyver
"Please don't take that away."
MacGyver
"A nice speech."
MacGyver
"And I believe sincere."
MacGyver
"But that still doesn't answer my question: why?"
MacGyver
"May I hazard a guess, Riley?"
MacGyver
"I think you hacked the Pentagon"
MacGyver
"just to see if you could."
MacGyver
"And a gun just wants to fire."
MacGyver
"It doesn't particularly care who or what it shoots at."
MacGyver
"You've fallen into my hands,"
MacGyver
"and it's on me to aim you at the right targets."
MacGyver
"So I'm keeping you on the team..."
MacGyver
"on a provisional basis."
MacGyver
"Now, if that sounds good to you,"
MacGyver
"Yeah."
MacGyver
"- Anything from Phoenix? - Not a peep."
MacGyver
"trying to make sure his story checks out."
MacGyver
"Yeah, okay, good."
MacGyver
"So I parked the rental car"
MacGyver
"about ten blocks to the south, searched the perimeter."
MacGyver
"The good news is, our pals Brooks and Cho"
MacGyver
"have no earthly idea where we are."
MacGyver
"What's the bad news?"
MacGyver
"Oh, the diner across the street's closed."
MacGyver
"There you go, bon appétit."
MacGyver
"Where do Gooey-Pies and diet soda fall on the food pyramid?"
MacGyver
"Oh, I don't know, I just tried to represent every food group."
MacGyver
"Here you go, America's Most Wanted, have a Gooey-Pie."
MacGyver
"No, thanks. I hate these things."
MacGyver
"What?"
MacGyver
"Then why'd you buy them every day?"
MacGyver
"'Cause he didn't go there for the Gooey-Pies,"
MacGyver
"he went there for Ilene, didn't you?"
MacGyver
"When I first got into town,"
MacGyver
"I'd been on the run for about three months."
MacGyver
"and there she was."
MacGyver
"Ilene."
MacGyver
"She smiled at me."
MacGyver
"That was it."
MacGyver
"First time anyone showed me any kindness"
MacGyver
"in I don't know how long."
MacGyver
"I just stood there smiling back at her like a dumbass."
MacGyver
"I-I couldn't speak, I couldn't even think."
MacGyver
"And I just pointed at the Gooey-Pies."
MacGyver
"Well, next time I went in,"
MacGyver
"she smiled at me again and I pointed at the Gooey-Pies."
MacGyver
"Guess I was afraid that if I explained to her"
MacGyver
"that I didn't actually like Gooey-Pies,"
MacGyver
"I might end up telling her my whole life story."
MacGyver
"Sounds crazy, right?"
MacGyver
"Being on the run can do weird things to your mind."
MacGyver
"So you guys, uh, are really not FBI?"
MacGyver
"Come on, baby, do we look like FBI?"
MacGyver
"Just know that with us you're safe."
MacGyver
"So I might actually get the chance to testify"
MacGyver
"and go to prison?"
MacGyver
"I know being locked up is no picnic,"
MacGyver
"but what I've been through the past eight years"
MacGyver
"is no kind of life."
MacGyver
"You can't get close to anyone."
MacGyver
"You can't even trust anyone. I mean, I..."
MacGyver
"I met the love of my life six years ago,"
MacGyver
"and I can't even risk asking her out to dinner."
MacGyver
"Believe it or not, we can relate."
MacGyver
"A few minutes with the right one is better"
MacGyver
"than a lifetime with the wrong one."
MacGyver
"What's her name?"
MacGyver
"Mm. Sarah."
MacGyver
"Well,"
MacGyver
"here's to Sarah."
MacGyver
"And to a few minutes with the right one."
MacGyver
"There you go. All right."
MacGyver
"Oh."
MacGyver
"- Yes, ma'am? - So this is interesting."
MacGyver
"We're going through the FBI's evidence"
MacGyver
"in the Eva Santos murder case."
MacGyver
""Interesting" as in he's been telling the truth"
MacGyver
"Well, that's the interesting part."
MacGyver
"The FBI's key evidence is a security video of the murder."
MacGyver
"I'm sending it to you now."
MacGyver
"Well, this doesn't look good for Bishop."
MacGyver
"Well, that's what we thought, too, at first."
MacGyver
"This video was recorded using"
MacGyver
"a 15-year-old CCD surveillance camera"
MacGyver
"onto magnetic tape."
MacGyver
"Hence all the static."
MacGyver
"Hence almost all the static."
MacGyver
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