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Clips from Master of None - Door #3 (S02E02)

"but I woke up late at night,"
Master of None
"made a snack."
Master of None
"Yeah. Got that."
Master of None
"I must break up with Ellen."
Master of None
"And then we found the spreadsheets"
Master of None
"I mean, it was the craziest audit I've ever done."
Master of None
"That's an interesting story."
Master of None
"- Oh, sure, what is it? - Oh, look who's here!"
Master of None
"Come here, baby."
Master of None
"- Give me a kiss, baby. - Oh, he l..."
Master of None
"- Oh! - Give Peter a kiss."
Master of None
"Oh, 'cause I'm gonna give Peter a kiss."
Master of None
"- You're such a good dog. - Oh, yes, I am."
Master of None
"- Go on. - Oh, Coco, Coco, stay."
Master of None
"Lawrence, checked the rundown."
Master of None
"Everything looks good. You all right?"
Master of None
"- He dropped out. - What happened?"
Master of None
"Apparently, he retired a few years ago."
Master of None
"And I booked the wrong Lance Burton."
Master of None
"Like, I booked some dude that owns a Kia dealership"
Master of None
"Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
Master of None
"It was a little last-minute,"
Master of None
"but I was able to get a replacement judge."
Master of None
"The Magnificent Kenny. He's a pro."
Master of None
"I have to use my handkerchief."
Master of None
"- Ah. - Oh, my God!"
Master of None
"Our old friend the three of diamonds."
Master of None
"Damn!"
Master of None
"- Hey! - Hey."
Master of None
"I just wanted to say thanks so much for being a judge."
Master of None
"- And, uh, thanks for the gift. - Oh, yeah, cupcakes."
Master of None
"I know it's a little on the nose."
Master of None
"Great. Great, man."
Master of None
"Work's been good, yeah."
Master of None
"I just booked a weekly job at a casino."
Master of None
"Ooh, on the Strip?"
Master of None
"No, no."
Master of None
"Small town in Connecticut, but, um,"
Master of None
"- Years. - Oh."
Master of None
"Anyway, you want to see, uh,"
Master of None
"- Sure. - All right, here we go."
Master of None
"- I need you to pick a card. - Okay."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"And what I'm gonna show you right now"
Master of None
"is, what I have is a tiny car."
Master of None
"- Mm. - That is a very tiny car."
Master of None
"But the thing about this car"
Master of None
"Bullshit! Fuck that."
Master of None
"God damn it."
Master of None
"Is this part of the trick?"
Master of None
"Look, man,"
Master of None
"I can't go out there."
Master of None
"I don't want to do it."
Master of None
"Hey, that's not true."
Master of None
"That's what your producer said."
Master of None
"Would you just go and check"
Master of None
"and see if I can quit?"
Master of None
"Wow. Did you just come up with that now?"
Master of None
"My wife yelled it at me"
Master of None
"during an argument years ago."
Master of None
"I had too much fun with Coco."
Master of None
"He's a very fun animal to play with."
Master of None
"So what are you gonna do about Linda?"
Master of None
"I'll keep seeing both of them."
Master of None
"I spoke with them, and they were okay with the arrangement."
Master of None
"My man Peter Chang,"
Master of None
"Thank you, Arnold."
Master of None
"My secret is that"
Master of None
"people my age often feel very alone."
Master of None
"Oh."
Master of None
"I thought it would be a funner secret."
Master of None
"Kenny."
Master of None
"Now, what's going on here?"
Master of None
"Look, I'm packing up my stuff"
Master of None
"to bail on you so last-minute like this,"
Master of None
"Mm. Best for both of us, huh?"
Master of None
"Packing up your flowers and your handkerchiefs"
Master of None
"and you're heading out?"
Master of None
"Well, not feeling"
Master of None
"Not lately, you know."
Master of None
"'Cause you know what I saw earlier?"
Master of None
"I saw you backstage, doing some tricks."
Master of None
"I saw people laughing and smiling and having a grand old time."
Master of None
"You saw that?"
Master of None
"- Yeah. - That was good."
Master of None
"- It felt good, right? - Yeah."
Master of None
"and think about that studio audience?"
Master of None
"Those are people out there,"
Master of None
"and have fun and see magic."
Master of None
"You are The Magnificent Kenny, aren't you?"
Master of None
"I am The Magnificent Kenny!"
Master of None
"- I'm in, man. - There you go."
Master of None
"Hey, that's awesome. It's awesome."
Master of None
"Dev, you know what?"
Master of None
"Looks like I'm not the only one that can do magic here."
Master of None
"Did you just come up with that now?"
Master of None
"No, no, I, uh,"
Master of None
"used to say it to my wife years ago,"
Master of None
"and then we hit a little rough patch that we're in now."
Master of None
"- That's true. - That's true."
Master of None
"Now, I understand you've prepared"
Master of None
"You know, I had a chance to taste the cupcakes in the back."
Master of None
"I normally just get "brown.""
Master of None
"for seven seasons, and it seems like a tremendous opportunity,"
Master of None
"but I... I don't think it's the right fit for me."
Master of None
"I thought you were gonna hate me."
Master of None
"Are you kidding me? I would love that show."
Master of None
"Okay, look at our hosts."
Master of None
"She has a dog named Coco."
Master of None
"I guess I would just ask myself,"
Master of None
"You're gonna really like it."
Master of None
"You don't work that much."
Master of None
"Come on, man."
Master of None
"Doctor, this is Donald's wife, Carol."
Master of None
"I don't know, man. It's hard for me to weigh in."
Master of None
"- Ellen? - Hmm?"
Master of None
"Oh, no problem, man. Thank you."
Master of None
"it's been years since I've been to Vegas."
Master of None
"Fuck it!"
Master of None
"Besides, I was your 15th choice anyway."
Master of None
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