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Clips from Shameless - Killer Carl (S01E01)

We're all descendents of barbarians,

"We're all descendents of barbarians,"

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and the sooner we face it,

"and the sooner we face it,"

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So, hell no, I won't go,

"So, hell no, I won't go,"

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♪ I feel the power of the Lord inside ♪

"♪ I feel the power of the Lord inside ♪"

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♪ And I feel a surge as He rises up... ♪

"♪ And I feel a surge as He rises up... ♪"

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♪ ♪

"♪ ♪"

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Can you pretend to be Frank tonight?

"Can you pretend to be Frank tonight?"

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Why can't you do it?

"Why can't you do it?"

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Say you had Carl when you were, like, 14 or something.

"Say you had Carl when you were, like, 14 or something."

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You could pass for 23.

"You could pass for 23."

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No?

"No?"

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How 'bout Kenny?

"How 'bout Kenny?"

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I'm trying to keep Carl out of a foster home,

"I'm trying to keep Carl out of a foster home,"

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not give 'em reason to put him in one.

"not give 'em reason to put him in one."

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Frank will show up for Carl.

"Frank will show up for Carl."

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but, deep down, I think

"but, deep down, I think"

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Frank is capable of doing the right thing.

"Frank is capable of doing the right thing."

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Kid! Give me the board! Give me the board!

"Kid! Give me the board! Give me the board!"

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Hey!

"Hey!"

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Give me my skateboard back!

"Give me my skateboard back!"

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You losers!

"You losers!"

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I'm ready.

"I'm ready."

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You know what I'm thinking?

"You know what I'm thinking?"

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Indian.

"Indian."

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So, let's go get

"So, let's go get"

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Excellent.

"Excellent."

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And now, how about

"And now, how about"

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Ooh, yes. A yummy

"Ooh, yes. A yummy"

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tikka masala.

"tikka masala."

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You're doing great,

"You're doing great,"

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Sheila.

"Sheila."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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You know, I feel terrific.

"You know, I feel terrific."

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to be out and about.

"to be out and about."

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Do you see any fellow shoppers?

"Do you see any fellow shoppers?"

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Yes.

"Yes."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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Good, Sheila.

"Good, Sheila."

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Good. Oh...

"Good. Oh..."

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Oh, that wasn't so bad.

"Oh, that wasn't so bad."

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Okay, now,

"Okay, now,"

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this one's coming a little bit close.

"this one's coming a little bit close."

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Well...

"Well..."

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Sometimes when we're out and about...

"Sometimes when we're out and about..."

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Mm-hmm?

"Mm-hmm?"

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...people shop for some of the same things.

"...people shop for some of the same things."

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And they enter our space for a moment.

"And they enter our space for a moment."

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Yes. That's happening.

"Yes. That's happening."

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Say hello to her.

"Say hello to her."

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Hello.

"Hello."

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Oh, oh. That wasn't so bad.

"Oh, oh. That wasn't so bad."

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That wasn't so bad at all.

"That wasn't so bad at all."

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She seemed really nice.

"She seemed really nice."

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Oh... Oh, God. Wait.

"Oh... Oh, God. Wait."

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Time to check out and head outside.

"Time to check out and head outside."

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No, no, no. We just started and I...

"No, no, no. We just started and I..."

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I still need vanilla and raisins

"I still need vanilla and raisins"

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and-and peaches. I need to get some peaches.

"and-and peaches. I need to get some peaches."

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No peaches in Indian food. Yes!

"No peaches in Indian food. Yes!"

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No, there's peaches. Concentrate.

"No, there's peaches. Concentrate."

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Oh!

"Oh!"

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No, no! No.

"No, no! No."

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I can't do it. I can't.

"I can't do it. I can't."

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Stop it! Make it stop!

"Stop it! Make it stop!"

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No.

"No."

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Sorry I threw you out this morning.

"Sorry I threw you out this morning."

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I love a woman that knows what she wants.

"I love a woman that knows what she wants."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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I want to be someone else today.

"I want to be someone else today."

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How's work?

"How's work?"

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Backbreaking.

"Backbreaking."

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Can I swing by and take you to lunch?

"Can I swing by and take you to lunch?"

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I love that there's a world where people go out to lunch.

"I love that there's a world where people go out to lunch."

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Next. Carl's in trouble at school.

"Next. Carl's in trouble at school."

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to show up, and he says he won't,

"to show up, and he says he won't,"

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so I got to go fix it

"so I got to go fix it"

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before nobody shows up and he gets bounced.

"before nobody shows up and he gets bounced."

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So, are you guys going

"So, are you guys going"

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Need a parent for that, don't you?

"Need a parent for that, don't you?"

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Hey, Louise got an "A" on the paper you wrote

"Hey, Louise got an "A" on the paper you wrote"

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for her English class.

"for her English class."

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How do you keep doing that?

"How do you keep doing that?"

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and you argue that the main character

"and you argue that the main character"

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is a latent homosexual.

"is a latent homosexual."

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No, seriously.

"No, seriously."

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Seriously. Now, most English teachers

"Seriously. Now, most English teachers"

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are either gay and agree,

"are either gay and agree,"

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or they're straight, but too scared to disagree

"or they're straight, but too scared to disagree"

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and get labeled as intolerant.

"and get labeled as intolerant."

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Hmm.

"Hmm."

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1870! All right.

"1870! All right."

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Yeah! Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

"Yeah! Thanks, man. Appreciate it."

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Perfect for the Big Ten. Thanks.

"Perfect for the Big Ten. Thanks."

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Happy to help, man.

"Happy to help, man."

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Hey, man. You more than helped.

"Hey, man. You more than helped."

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Now I'll most definitely be a beer swillin',

"Now I'll most definitely be a beer swillin',"

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roofie slippin', fightin' Illini next year.

"roofie slippin', fightin' Illini next year."

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All right? All right.

"All right? All right."

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Awesome.

"Awesome."

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What happened, Tire?

"What happened, Tire?"

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Not satisfied with your results?

"Not satisfied with your results?"

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I better not look stupid.

"I better not look stupid."

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Impossible.

"Impossible."

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Hey, listen, there's one last

"Hey, listen, there's one last"

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testing session this year, so tell your friends.

"testing session this year, so tell your friends."

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Don't tell me what to do.

"Don't tell me what to do."

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Why do we help people we hate?

"Why do we help people we hate?"

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I believe we're just taking our cue

"I believe we're just taking our cue"

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from American foreign policy.

"from American foreign policy."

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Hello? Hello?

"Hello? Hello?"

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Come in, Frank. Yeah.

"Come in, Frank. Yeah."

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Shoes. Shoes.

"Shoes. Shoes."

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The bag. The bag.

"The bag. The bag."

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Hon, you got to lighten up about the shoes, okay?

"Hon, you got to lighten up about the shoes, okay?"

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I want shoes in bags.

"I want shoes in bags."

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I appreciate you seeing me.

"I appreciate you seeing me."

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You're Carl's mother?

"You're Carl's mother?"

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Uh, no, sister.

"Uh, no, sister."

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Legal guardian?

"Legal guardian?"

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