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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Check This (S01E01)

"Two chickens is a pig, two pigs is a cow, and two cows is a fortune."
Perfect Strangers
"You're the one that made me go to a bank and got me confused."
Perfect Strangers
"Yeah, yeah, okay. Oh, sure. Ah! Ooh!"
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"Yeah, blame it on me. Yes, why didn't I see it before?"
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"Yes, it's all my fault and I'll burn in hell for it."
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"Boy, you're taking this hard."
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"What's the big deal? - What's the big deal?"
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"You don't wanna go to prison for this furniture."
Perfect Strangers
"You're right. It's my fault."
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"No, look, look, it's not your fault."
Perfect Strangers
"I made you get that bank account and I didn't take the time to explain the basics."
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"They'll take this furniture back and we'll get back my stuff."
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"What did you do with it? - That's no problem."
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"I sold it to Mr. Twinkacetti."
Perfect Strangers
"You sold it to Twinkacetti?"
Perfect Strangers
"You sold my chair, my sofa, my coffee table, my lamp?"
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"Is this neurotic?"
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"Yes. Yes, and so is this."
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"That's my lamp."
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"We better hustle our buttocks."
Perfect Strangers
"Those pinches paid off."
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"Good morning, turnips. Boy, am I a lucky guy."
Perfect Strangers
"Last night, I won $600 in the poker game."
Perfect Strangers
"I'm gonna buy back my furniture for what you paid Balki for it."
Perfect Strangers
"Come on, Appleton."
Perfect Strangers
"You think I could sell this elegant decor for a measly 75 bucks?"
Perfect Strangers
"Seventy-five bucks?"
Perfect Strangers
"You sold my furniture for 75 bucks?"
Perfect Strangers
"Well, it made sense when Mr. Twinkacetti explained it."
Perfect Strangers
"I'll bet it did."
Perfect Strangers
"You can't do this to me. It's not fair."
Perfect Strangers
"I shouldn't take advantage of a fellow member of the male brotherhood."
Perfect Strangers
"...and I owe him nothing."
Perfect Strangers
"Zip, as in the big O."
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"My God, my wife."
Perfect Strangers
"Edwina, my pet."
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"What a cherished moment."
Perfect Strangers
"Hello, Mrs. Twinkacetti."
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"Oh, nice to see you, Larry."
Perfect Strangers
"I have heard so much about you."
Perfect Strangers
"Well, I have heard so much about you too and I don't believe half of it."
Perfect Strangers
"We kid around. Ha-ha-ha!"
Perfect Strangers
"Did you enjoy going to the basketball game with my husband?"
Perfect Strangers
"Basketball? - Loved it. Loved it."
Perfect Strangers
"Why don't we step into the office? I got fresh coffee."
Perfect Strangers
"Balki, don't you see what happened?"
Perfect Strangers
"Mr. Twinkacetti told his wife he was with you last night."
Perfect Strangers
"Ohh."
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"Oh, boy."
Perfect Strangers
"Friend, member of the male brotherhood."
Perfect Strangers
"Are you kidding? You're a lieutenant."
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"How much do you like me?"
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"You'll cover for me, won't you?"
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"Do you mind if I call you turnip?"
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"Please. - Balki, Balki."
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"Watch and learn."
Perfect Strangers
"Two hundred. One seventy-five."
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"One hundred, and some glass beads. Good deal, huh?"
Perfect Strangers
"One dollar."
Perfect Strangers
"...hidden behind your photo of Gordon Liddy."
Perfect Strangers
"You should keep your money in a bank."
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"I feel terrible. I was thinking..."
Perfect Strangers
"I was thinking that you probably didn't go to a basketball game last night."
Perfect Strangers
"...I suspected you of playing poker with your sleazy friends."
Perfect Strangers
"...because our marriage is based on mutual trust."
Perfect Strangers
"And if you ever violate that trust..."
Perfect Strangers
"...I'll break your chubby little legs."
Perfect Strangers
"We kid around."
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"Oh, no. - Goodbye, boys."
Perfect Strangers
"Bye-bye, now."
Perfect Strangers
"You did good."
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"Thank you. I have a dark side."
Perfect Strangers
"Help me get this furniture upstairs."
Perfect Strangers
"And tonight, I'll teach you how to balance your checkbook."
Perfect Strangers
"Okay. And then I teach you how to balance a broom on your nose."
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"Right. Right."
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"Oh! Ah! Ooh!"
Perfect Strangers
"Cousin, your back is still hurting."
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"I think it's time I took your back by the horns."
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"Oh, Balki."
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"Balki. My back. It doesn't hurt."
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"That's incredible. - Yes."
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"Of course, sometimes there are side effects."
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"Balki, I can't move my arms."
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"That's one of them. - Now what?"
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"Well, for that, you gotta go to a doctor."
Perfect Strangers
"Come on, put them up."
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"Boy, you are grumpy in the morning."
Perfect Strangers
"Lift and push."
Perfect Strangers
"Push and lift."
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"You've got your Money Market Manager Account."
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"Includes check guarantee, credit card, overdraft protection..."
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"The same thing they do with my money."
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"Like a hawk."
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"That's what this ordeal is about? A hundred and twenty-eight dollars?"
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"And what does he have?"
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"Oh, uh, thank you, Mr. Twinkacetti, but..."
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"Tonight. Got it?"
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"It's part of the code of the male brotherhood."
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"Ow!"
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"Surprise."
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"Balki, let me make something absolutely clear."
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"I've got it."
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"We grew up in a middle-class house..."
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"Oh, how sad."
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"Where did you get the money to pay for all this stuff?"
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"Three thousand twenty-eight dollars and forty-three cents."
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"Balki, Balki, Balki."
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"Don't you understand anything about banking?"
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"It's not a big deal."
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"And this must be Balki."
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"Oh, so now I'm a member."
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"An apple for Larry Appleton."
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"Of course not. Balki fixed it."
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"And this junk will be gone before lunch."
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"No, I never thought of that."
Perfect Strangers