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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Check This (S01E01)

"A thousand-dollar minimum balance."
Perfect Strangers
"...which means you can write checks up to $5000 over your balance..."
Perfect Strangers
"...and a free color TV. - Oh, I like that one."
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"I think that's a little out of your league."
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"What is my league? - Little League."
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"Our Happy Saver Account."
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"He'll take that one."
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"When I put my money here, what are you going to do with it?"
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"They give my money to other people just because it's interesting?"
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"No, no, no. Interest is what people pay the bank so that they can use your money."
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"Well, if they're using my money, why don't they pay me?"
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"Well, the bank performs a service."
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"For instance, you could come here and borrow money yourself."
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"I could come to this bank and borrow my own money and then pay them interest?"
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"Well, yes. Provided you have good credit."
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"What that is?"
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"Would you like to explain this to him?"
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"Not on your life."
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"When my money is here, who is going to be watching it?"
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"Well, Mr. Harper will watch it."
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"Well, then I'm going to need some references from you."
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"Balki, give him your money."
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"But how do I get my money when I want to use it?"
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"The bank gives you nice checks with pretty little pictures."
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"When you wanna buy something, sign your name to a check."
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"That's all there is to it."
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"You mean, when I want to spend money, all I have to do is sign my name to a check?"
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"Take good care of it."
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"We will."
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"A hundred and twenty-eight dollars?"
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"Just take the money, please. Yes. Yes."
Perfect Strangers
"...we can wrap this up during my lifetime."
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"Rainbows. I love rainbows."
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"Rainbows it is."
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"Flowers."
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"Puppies."
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"Ooh! Ah!"
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"Lower."
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"Balki Claus is coming to town."
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"Where do I come up with them?"
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"And for you, Susan, your favorite sugarless gum."
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"Thank you, Balki."
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"Is today Mypos Apple and Gum Day?"
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"Ask me how I paid for these things."
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"Balki, how did you pay for these things?"
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"I wrote checks."
Perfect Strangers
"I also bought you this nice bug light."
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"Well, I'm touched."
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"I wasn't inviting you."
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"Look, Appleton, my wife hates for me to gamble."
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"That's why I'm telling her I'm going to a basketball game with you."
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"So if it ever comes up, I was with you."
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"Hey. I'm asking for a favor."
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"Some men in the Nixon White House did those things for each other."
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"You know, lying to your wife is really terrible."
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"News flash, sweet cheeks, the ERA is dead."
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"You lost. Bow and get out."
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"Now, come on, Appleton, huh?"
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"What is this male brotherhood?"
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"Don't worry. No turnips allowed."
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"I'll work, I'll take your abuse, but I won't lie to your wife for you."
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"I won't forget this."
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"I just remembered. I got a truckload of bodybuilding equipment downtown."
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"I want you to pick it up. Shouldn't take your more than a whole day."
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"Mr. Twinkacetti."
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"Cousin Larry has a bad back."
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"Cousin, I'll do this for you."
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"Don't worry. I know the correct way to lift without putting stress on my back."
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"Yeah. That's him over there, the one who can stand erect."
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"I got that furniture you ordered. Oh, wonderful."
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"My cousin will be so happy."
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"No problem. I have checks."
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"Twinkacetti cannot beat me."
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"I just moved 12 tons of bodybuilding equipment..."
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"You also look shorter."
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"That's because every vertebra in my body is compressed."
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"Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy."
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"I bought you new furniture."
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"It's a present from me to you."
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"Ohh, I can't believe you did this."
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"I can't believe you did this."
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"And you're welcome."
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"See, my furniture was..."
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"And this furniture is not."
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"You don't like it? - No, it's not that I don't like it."
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"Yes, it is. I don't like it."
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"Well, but you complained about your broken sofa..."
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"...and you don't like your old furniture..."
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"No, no, no, you don't got it. You've got to understand."
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"Look, look."
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"I'm gonna tell you something about my upbringing I have never told you."
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"You are? - Yes. See, I come from a big family."
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"I was one of nine kids."
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"You told me that."
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"My parents weren't poor, but they didn't have a lot of money."
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"You told me that."
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"...in Madison, Wisconsin... Look, the new stuff is coming, all right?"
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"Sorry."
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"The point is, with all those kids, nothing was ever really yours."
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"If I had a toy, I had to share it with eight other kids."
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"Well, not this furniture, but my own furniture."
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"It was used, it was a little uncomfortable, but it was all mine."
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"And then tonight..."
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"...I come home and I find that you..."
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"You've taken away my toys."
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"Intellectually, I know, I know, I'm overly possessive."
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"Almost neurotic about it."
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"Of course not."
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"Erotic? Don't be ridiculous."
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"Okay. Don't get crazy."
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"Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute."
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"You wrote a check? For how much?"
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"Good deal, huh?"
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"They even threw in these plastic flowers."
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"You only had $ 128..."
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"But the man at the bank said..."
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"...I can write checks for more money than I have as long as I..."
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"No. ...pay it back someday."
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"No, no, no. No."
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"No, I don't understand banking."
Perfect Strangers
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