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Clips from South Park - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig (S01E01)

"Would you agree this episode confirms Matt and Trey are sick weirdoes?"
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"Your sister kicked your ass!"
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"You get your butt kicked by a girl."
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""Get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!""
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"They think she's innocent. She's an evil bitch."
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"- Where'd you get that? - Mail order from Africa."
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"They said it'd take 6 weeks, but it only took 3!"
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"- Wow, that's cool! - It's not!"
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"Mom won't let him in the house! His poop is bigger than our couch."
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"Hey! Wait a minute! What is that thing?"
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"This is the new retarded kid."
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"- Sit down, kid! - Yes, ma'am."
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"- Mr. Garrison? - Yes, Kyle."
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"Stop wasting Mr. Hat's time with little problems and give me back my cocoa!"
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"The genetics ranch. To splice the pig's genes with my elephant."
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"- I swear I'm gonna kill you, Stan! - Why is your sister so mean?"
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"If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass, I'd be like:"
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"Looks like nobody's home. We should come another time."
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"I'll kick you in the nuts!"
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"Brilliant idea. Huge, elephant-sized pigs."
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"I created things to make the world better."
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"I suppose so. Yes, over here."
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"Any of you blokes know what's for lunch today?"
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"- Lunchy munchies? - Go away, Pip, nobody likes you!"
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"What kind of a name is Pip?"
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"- Yeah, go away, Pip. - Right."
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"Dumb asses! You give up on your stupid science-fair project?"
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"- Probably a gay pig. - It's more than you've got!"
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"Hey, I'll kick your ass!"
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"By Friday, we'll clone a whole human. Good luck with your pig."
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"You hear? We'll be rich!"
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"An elephant won't make love to a pig."
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"My pig won't wanna make love to that elephant!"
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"- Wanna come over? - We've got work to do."
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"- Just for a little bit? - Your sister gonna kick your ass?"
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"...and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed.""
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"- What the hell are you talking about? - I'm saying you're a little wuss."
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"- Sick, she's my sister! - Try it. We gotta get Cartman's pig."
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"- Come on, Kenny. - Kyle, no!"
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"- Are you staring at my neck brace? - No, I mean, yes? What neck brace?"
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"Before you beat my face into a bloody pulp..."
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"...I just want you to know that you're my sister and I love you."
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"Someday I'll be bigger than you. You'll wish you'd never done this."
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"You'll never be bigger than me, Stan. Never!"
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"Come on, keep drinking."
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"I wonder how drunk he needs to be to make sweet love to the pig."
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"They're both drunk but won't have sex!"
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"Now I know how all those white women must have felt."
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"He's out of control. We have to destroy him!"
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"But he's our science-fair project!"
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"You've made a horrible mistake. You put the people of South Park in jeopardy!"
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"- I thought nature was beautiful. - When does it go from beautiful to ugly?"
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"Couple of days? Terrance will have his clone tomorrow."
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"Thank Buddha I found you."
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"Tell me, have you seen anything odd lately?"
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"Sir, if making mutant animals spliced with humans is crazy, then..."
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"- A version of me? - Bigger than a regular clone?"
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"He's dangerous. His brain is identical to yours. I need you to help me find him."
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"Hey! I know a certain young man who's itching for detention!"
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"The way is paved with gold for ye who seek truth..."
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"Jesus!"
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"My evil clone is destroying the town. We have to find him."
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"You tore up my entire gun shop! You better have a good explanation for this!"
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"- He recognizes you, dude. - That's good, dude. Just calm down."
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"What should we do with him?"
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"Stan? How would you like to go home and meet your sister?"
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"This beast is a disgrace to genetic engineers everywhere."
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"I'm sorry I've caused you such inconvenience."
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"You bastards, this isn't over! Wait until tomorrow!"
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"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny! You bastard!"
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"- Thanks a lot! - Oh, boy, you are gonna get it now."
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"I don't wanna be sent away. I wanna stay here!"
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"What's going on? Are you on drugs?"
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"You taught me the meaning of family. Families don't get along."
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"When the forces of evil descend, we conquer them by sticking together."
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"Our pig hasn't given birth. She should any time now."
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"Terrance, I know the class can hardly wait to see yours."
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"I present to you the five-assed monkey."
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"Wait, wait, the pig just gave birth! It had a baby!"
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"- What's it look like? - Does it look like pig or elephant?"
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"It kind of looks like Mr. Garrison."
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"That'll do, pig."
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"And now, a fireside chat with the creators of South Park:"
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"Matt Stone and Trey Parker."
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"- I'm Trey Parker. - I'm Matt Stone."
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"And this is old Scratch. Say hi, old fellow!"
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"This episode is "An Elephant Fucks a Pig.""
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"It was changed to "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig.""
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"Which is silly. If an elephant was on a pig..."
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"...it wouldn't be making love, it would be fucking it."
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"What is sick and wrong about two beings sharing the most intimate of moments?"
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"Yes. I made Trey from splicing a tomato and a flounder."
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"Do you have strong ethical views on whether we should tamper with nature?"
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"Matt and I think genetic engineering is great."
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"Everything should be spliced with everything."
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"That's the way we'll become perfect beings. Right, old Scratch?"
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"We should splice pigs with elephants, tomatoes with apples."
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"l, myself, would like to be spliced with Fiona Apple."
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"And so now, sit back, relax, and enjoy "An Elephant Fucks a Pig.""
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"An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig"
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"- Stan, where'd you get that black eye? - Nothing, I mean nowhere."
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"- Your sister beat you up again? - No!"
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"She's pissed she got headgear. She takes it out on me."
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"I'd never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be:"
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"My parents don't believe me."
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"Be a man, Stan. Just say, "Hey, woman! You shut your mouth and make babies!""
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"What's that elephant doing?"
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"That's why my mom got me a potbellied pig because its poop is small."
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"Yeah, but pigs aren't smart like elephants."
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"Oh, I'm sorry, little girl. But you still can't get on."
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"Looks like you're not welcome anywhere. See you!"
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"If a woman ever gave me crap, I'd say, "Hey, you go do my laundry!""
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"That's right, Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering is an exciting new science."
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"You can splice DNA from some animals and make them better."
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"Here, sit down, have some cocoa, and tell Mr. Hat all about it."
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"I'm your friend Mr. Hat. You can tell me anything. Now, who hit you?"
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"- Is it your father or your mother? - Neither, it's my sister."
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"Your sister? For Pete's sake, don't be such a wuss!"
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"Let's open the phone lines for questions."
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"Hey!"
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