Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from South Park - Sexual Harassment Panda (S03E03)

"You would think that, you little ass-sucker."
South Park
"- What did you call me? - An ass-sucker. It means you suck ass."
South Park
"You see an ass and you suck it. You're an ass-sucker."
South Park
"That does it! I am suing you for sexual harassment."
South Park
"It says right here that now I can sue you and take all of your money!"
South Park
"That's right. He can."
South Park
"No, you can't, you little ass-sucker."
South Park
"He did it again! You all heard him!"
South Park
"This is Cartman v. Marsh,"
South Park
"case number 3433."
South Park
"What is your complaint, Mr. Cartman?"
South Park
"Your Honour, my lawyer is just parking the car. He should be here any second."
South Park
"- Dad? - Oh, hi, Kyle."
South Park
"All right, let's move this along, shall we? Now, Eric Cartman,"
South Park
"you claim that Stan Marsh has sexually harassed you in school."
South Park
"Oh, whatever."
South Park
"He talked about having oral sex with my ass."
South Park
"I couldn't concentrate the rest of the day."
South Park
"And the way his eyes kept looking at me."
South Park
"Slowly going up and down my body."
South Park
"Mr. Marsh, what do you have to say?"
South Park
"- What do you mean? - I need to hear your defense."
South Park
"I'm eight."
South Park
"Stan Marsh, under the new Sexual Harassment in Schools law,"
South Park
"- All right, we did it! - Hooray!"
South Park
"Since the defendant is underage,"
South Park
"and has no monetary resources, it is the judgment of this court"
South Park
"to Eric Cartman immediately."
South Park
"Let's see. I want that Clown Criminy game."
South Park
"Yeah, dude, that's my favourite toy."
South Park
"- Is this one of your favourites? - No! I hate that toy!"
South Park
"between the green choo-choo or the squishy football."
South Park
"You know, Eric, I've been thinking."
South Park
"Well, because they're the ones"
South Park
"that let this harassment go on. And they have a lot more money."
South Park
"I think we could get a lot more out of this than half of Stan's belongings."
South Park
"Interesting. Stan's asthma inhaler! I want that!"
South Park
"No! I had no frigging idea."
South Park
"Mr. Garrison, do you know the definition of sexual harassment?"
South Park
"Of course! And so does Mr. Hat! We do not tolerate sexual harassment!"
South Park
"You are the witness here, Mr. Garrison, not Mr. Hat."
South Park
"Did you or did you not hear my client"
South Park
"Well, he is a little ass-sucker."
South Park
"Principal Victoria, were you aware"
South Park
"Well, not any more than any other student."
South Park
"- I can't be around every second! - So it does go on!"
South Park
"and I cut up the body! I tried to burn it, but it wouldn't burn!"
South Park
"and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it!"
South Park
"Oh, God!"
South Park
"Principal Victoria, was Eric Cartman called an ass-sucker? Yes or no?"
South Park
"I believe so, yes."
South Park
"That's sexual harassment."
South Park
"Last, I'd like to bring up my expert witness,"
South Park
"Sexual Harassment Panda."
South Park
"Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree?"
South Park
"Expert witness, did South Park Elementary"
South Park
"allow sexual harassment to go on?"
South Park
"I'm afraid the law states that the school must be held responsible."
South Park
"it is the judgment of this court that South Park Elementary"
South Park
"pays Eric Theodore Cartman $1.3 million in damages."
South Park
"All right! We did it, Eric!"
South Park
"That goes in the master bedroom!"
South Park
"Well, Kyle, what do you think of your new house?"
South Park
"It is very big."
South Park
"where does that money come from?"
South Park
"Well, Kyle, schools have lots of money. You see, we all pay taxes,"
South Park
"No. It's a very fragile system that nature has designed."
South Park
"Okay, children, there's a few changes being made here at school,"
South Park
"but lessons will go on as normal. Any questions?"
South Park
"Where's our desks?"
South Park
"since the school's funding is short for lawsuits."
South Park
"You see, Cartman? You see what this has done?"
South Park
"and these cool shoes."
South Park
"I'm telling you guys, suing people kicks ass."
South Park
"Wow, I wanna sue somebody!"
South Park
"Well, let's just try to cope with the changes"
South Park
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, children, but we can't afford chalk any more."
South Park
"I have to write on the chalkboard with this rusty nail."
South Park
"Sick of being called a homo?"
South Park
"A farty-pants? A butt... face?"
South Park
"close the lid on sexual harassment in school!"
South Park
"I knew I needed legal help."
South Park
"Thank you, Kyle's dad!"
South Park
"So call me, Kyle's dad, because it's not about money, it's about..."
South Park
"Wait... What am I saying? Call me!"
South Park
"He plays Sexual Harassment Panda at the schools."
South Park
"Oh, right. We certainly can't afford him any more."
South Park
"I warn you, Mr. Evans, Tom Morris takes his job a little seriously."
South Park
"Hello, Sexual Harassment cubs!"
South Park
"Sexual Harassment Panda"
South Park
"Have a seat, Mr. Morris."
South Park
"Who?"
South Park
"- Sexual Harassment Panda. - Oh, all right!"
South Park
"Mr. Morris, we at the school board have been thinking,"
South Park
"and we've decided that perhaps a panda"
South Park
"isn't the best way to explain sexual harassment to children."
South Park
"have anything to do with sexual harassment."
South Park
"At all."
South Park
"I'm afraid we're just going to have to let you go."
South Park
"Eric Cartman, it is the judgment"
South Park
"of this court that you sexually harassed Pip Philip at school."
South Park
"This is ridiculous!"
South Park
"You asked Pip to suck your you-know-what."
South Park
"- Oh, dear God! - Wow, I'm good!"
South Park
"Next."
South Park
"Next!"
South Park
"Okay, children, let's all take our seats. We have a lot to learn today."
South Park
"Don't answer that!"
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incinerate me."
South Park
"- Incriminate. - Incriminate."
South Park
"Okay, children, I'm having a real problem"
South Park
"with you all having lawyers. It is really disrupting class time."
South Park
"Kids, what I meant to say is that I fully condone you all having lawyers"
South Park
"Now, let's get back to Ulysses S Grant, if that's okay with you."
South Park
"Let's trade sandwiches."
South Park
"- Hello there, children! - Hey, Chef."
South Park
"- How's it going? - Bad."
South Park
"Well, they're about to get worse."
South Park
"Lumpy potatoes? Oh, no!"
South Park
Show more clips