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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Woman of the Year (S02E02)

"Or this Deputy Director Barbie?"
Parks and Recreation
"Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone."
Parks and Recreation
""I'm going to help my boss win an award.""
Parks and Recreation
"How's the scheduling conflict with the soccer teams going?"
Parks and Recreation
"because I've won an award."
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"Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion."
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"It's got seven rooms, four bathrooms. It's got a tennis court,"
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"a pool and a three-car garage."
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"And it's only $20,000 a month. And it's in Chicago."
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"Actually, there are a couple of cool places in here."
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"Thank you all so much for joining me today."
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"And two, do any of you have pacemakers or a history of epilepsy?"
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"Yes, both. Anybody? No?"
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"Both. All right."
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"Jon Gosselin. Lady Gaga. Snooki."
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"Cash Warren and Dennis Rodman."
Parks and Recreation
"These are just a few of the celebrities that wish they could invest"
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"And you can. For the small price of only one, one, one,"
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"The only question is, who's gonna be my partner?"
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"Twenty-six certificates , plaques, ribbons,"
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"trophies, medals and miscellany"
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"who deserves recognition for her achievements."
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"Dorothy Everton Smythe. I swear to God, I would..."
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"Leslie."
Parks and Recreation
"Before you continue, please read this."
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"Another organization giving you credit for something you didn't do?"
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""especially for the Camp Athena project."
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""she is far too concerned with institutional gratification.""
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"No, I'm not."
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""So, I am going to let her dangle"
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""in order to show her that awards are bull crap.""
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"Come on, Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women."
Parks and Recreation
"You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games."
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"If you spend your life chasing them, you'll drive yourself nuts."
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"She spent four years in jail for that."
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"I know I'm not supposed to care about these things,"
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"I know you've been changing"
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"The acoustics in the bathroom are insane."
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"So, how much is this one again?"
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"This one is $425 a month, plus utilities."
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"I like it. It seems to have a lot of potential"
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"and a lot of "advantages," per se."
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"What is that?"
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"You can light a match to get rid of that smell."
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"Really?"
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"It screams Andy Dwyer."
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"Are you serious? Yeah."
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"So, what do you think?"
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"Okay. First come, first served. Who's in? Jerry?"
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"Jeez, Tom,"
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"Jerry, get out."
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""Mark? What are we doing tonight?""
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""or we could go to my nightclub and do some dancing.""
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"You'd never have to beg for sex again."
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"I don't wanna get into this, really, but I don't beg for sex now."
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"Bye, Mark."
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"Cindi."
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"Plus, I would look good"
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"pulling into my owner's parking space in my Mercedes."
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"Will that be cash or check?"
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"I want to meet your boy."
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"In here. This lady's here."
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"Hi, I'm Elise Yarktin, I'm with the IOW."
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"I'm Woman of the Year, Ron Swanson."
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"Yes, I know. We are very excited to be"
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"presenting you with the Smythe Award."
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"That's what I called you to talk about."
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"I don't know if I can take all of the excitement."
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"So, I think the award should go to Miss Knope, here."
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"She's the one who really deserves it."
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"We didn't make a mistake."
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"Why?"
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"Well, every year, we give it to a woman, and, frankly, nobody cares."
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"such as yourself, well, then, eventually, people take notice."
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"Well, we're giving it to you."
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"So, you're gonna take it, like a man."
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"So congratulations."
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"The IOW is a bunch of sexist jerks"
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"who need to get back in the kitchen where they belong,"
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"and leave the real feminist work"
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"to actual feminists like Ron Swanson!"
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"Oh, my God! What is happening?"
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"No, I want you to accept it."
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"I want you to go to the podium"
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"Now we're talking. I tell you what. You write the speech."
Parks and Recreation
"Don't pull your punches."
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"I won't. I'm gonna push my punches"
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"Attagirl. Kind of."
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"What up, Big T! Stop."
Parks and Recreation
"This must be the lovely Donna."
Parks and Recreation
"Listen, beautiful, let's cut the bull, right?"
Parks and Recreation
"You want this. I definitely want this."
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"T.H. wants this."
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"Let's seal this devil's three-way right here, right now."
Parks and Recreation
"Step two, we roll over to the club,"
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"either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend."
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"Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor."
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"Why? I hate that guy."
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"and congratulations on winning."
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"Well, here is your awards packet,"
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"and if you will just follow me,"
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"we're gonna have a little meet-and-greet before the ceremony."
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"Work on the speech. Let's nail these women."
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"You know what I mean. Yeah."
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"Yeah."
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"Why's it so hard to become a mogul?"
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"have my own line of upscale sweat suits,"
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"and a cologne called Tommy Fresh."
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"And I fell $1,000 short."
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"Tom, I have $1,000. You can have it."
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"Thanks, Andy, but I can't take your money."
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""Spread your wings and fly," and "You deserve to be a champion.""
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"If you're telling me that all you need is $1,000 to do your dreams,"
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"then I want you to have it."
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"You don't know how happy you just made me."
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"Dorothy Everton Smythe Female Empowerment Award."
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"Please put your hands together for Mr. Ron Swanson."
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"is nothing more than..."
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"Is nothing more than a great way to honor someone."
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"to the person who actually deserves it,"
Parks and Recreation
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