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Clips from King of the Hill - The Father, the Son and J.C. (S06E06)

"Sure you can't find one with a flag burning on it?"
King of the Hill
"Either way, we've always been a ""Joy"" family."
King of the Hill
"-But-- -Joy!"
King of the Hill
"There's a propane emergency at the police station."
King of the Hill
"Oh, everyone out of the way."
King of the Hill
"There's your emergency."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Mr. Strickland?"
King of the Hill
"DWl, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Blew a 0.2."
King of the Hill
"It was just a couple of.... Three, three eggnogs."
King of the Hill
"Hell, that shouldn't count, seeing as how it's Christmas and all."
King of the Hill
"But why would you call in a false propane emergency?"
King of the Hill
"We're looking at a $50 fine once I report us."
King of the Hill
"Well, I needed a sober ride, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Who wants to buy propane from some no-license castrato?"
King of the Hill
"I like to drive, you like to sit. Everybody wins."
King of the Hill
"You drive nice, Hank."
King of the Hill
"I pretend the gas pedal's an egg."
King of the Hill
"Pull over."
King of the Hill
"Yep. Douglas makes a good fir."
King of the Hill
"How are you fixed for ornaments?"
King of the Hill
"""Peace,"" huh?"
King of the Hill
"Of course, in a way, every year you buy me a tree."
King of the Hill
"No, it's the least I can do."
King of the Hill
"till I do my community service."
King of the Hill
"How would you like it if I made you assistant manager of building this house?"
King of the Hill
"You mean it?"
King of the Hill
"-Well, thank you, sir. -[Laughing] No, I thank you."
King of the Hill
"I don't know. Sometimes I lie to get attention."
King of the Hill
"-Yeah! -Wingo!"
King of the Hill
"I'd like to volunteer to be in charge of booby traps."
King of the Hill
"Oh, right. Got you, Hank."
King of the Hill
"Groundbreaking's day after tomorrow."
King of the Hill
"I wish I could go to bed right now and wake up in two days..."
King of the Hill
"with a shovel in my hand."
King of the Hill
"-Mom! -Shovel for Christmas."
King of the Hill
"[Doorbell ringing]"
King of the Hill
"Come on, Hank. Let's go shoot us a Christmas tree."
King of the Hill
"But we always...."
King of the Hill
"Only a man with a narrow urethra would think that skinny stick was a tree."
King of the Hill
"Too bad we can't get Dad a new dad for Christmas."
King of the Hill
"Or can we?"
King of the Hill
"The best present for your father..."
King of the Hill
"one where they can express their real feelings for each other."
King of the Hill
"And, conveniently, I can get the same thing for Cotton."
King of the Hill
"-Can I put my name on it? -I'll put your name on it."
King of the Hill
"[Grunting]"
King of the Hill
"Oh, so now you're a psychic."
King of the Hill
"Oh, Cotton, Hank has something to tell you."
King of the Hill
"Dad, if you're not doing anything Thursday..."
King of the Hill
"well, we're having this groundbreaking ceremony..."
King of the Hill
"-for this house I'm building for charity. -Charity?"
King of the Hill
"I thought maybe...."
King of the Hill
"I'd go home to my baby, crybaby."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Okay, I've put together a schedule..."
King of the Hill
"The frame's a prefab, so we could build it in two..."
King of the Hill
"why don't we make it a dream house and put the toilet in the living room?"
King of the Hill
"If Hank asked me one more time..."
King of the Hill
"Well, here's Cotton!"
King of the Hill
"Brought my bayonet."
King of the Hill
"-Yeah, well, l-- -Hey, Buck."
King of the Hill
"I saved the best nail pouch for you."
King of the Hill
"Didn't recognize the place without all the tombstones."
King of the Hill
"[Grunting]"
King of the Hill
"as soon as I finish repaying your debt to society."
King of the Hill
"Thanks, Hank. You really pulled my eggs out the frying pan."
King of the Hill
"I'm not one to give credit where credit is due..."
King of the Hill
"but doggone it, this time I just can't help myself."
King of the Hill
"In all that time I've had two wives, dozens of mistresses..."
King of the Hill
"five heart valves, three plastic, two pig..."
King of the Hill
"I love you."
King of the Hill
"[All gasping]"
King of the Hill
"[Grunting]"
King of the Hill
"Grandpa hates women."
King of the Hill
"so we will have to go out of our way to save it."
King of the Hill
"We will make a photo calendar..."
King of the Hill
"each and every month a reminder of their special father-son bond."
King of the Hill
"Not happy."
King of the Hill
"Can't even find one picture where they're both happy."
King of the Hill
"Wait. If you splice Grandpa's head over yours in the wedding photo..."
King of the Hill
"And we'll put it on a mug."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Hank. We started without you."
King of the Hill
"-Dang old Hank and Buck, man, that old-- -Now you've gone too far."
King of the Hill
"As permanent as your love?"
King of the Hill
"Shut up, Dale!"
King of the Hill
"I was a manager for 10 seconds..."
King of the Hill
"and all I managed to do was blurt my guts out like a mental patient."
King of the Hill
"I don't know where this stuff comes from."
King of the Hill
"Something must be wrong with me."
King of the Hill
"Niefko see."
King of the Hill
"Bad to say those things one man to other man."
King of the Hill
"Texas, USA, police no break down doors..."
King of the Hill
"say, ""Come to Army now! Now you shot! """
King of the Hill
"God bless you, builders of house and driveway."
King of the Hill
"God bless America."
King of the Hill
"Harley Davidson."
King of the Hill
"Who would like a hot cup of love?"
King of the Hill
"[Phone ringing]"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Peggy, telephone."
King of the Hill
"I got it."
King of the Hill
"[Sighing] Hi, Dad."
King of the Hill
"I'm just calling to say you ain't welcome to Christmas dinner."
King of the Hill
"My dad uninvited me for Christmas."
King of the Hill
"Honey, why don't you call him back and tell him how that makes you feel?"
King of the Hill
"Absolutely not."
King of the Hill
"You saw what happened when l..."
King of the Hill
"emoted all over Buck."
King of the Hill
"No, no. It'll be okay."
King of the Hill
"Didi, we are the wives of stubborn, stubborn men."
King of the Hill
"They are lucky to have us, aren't they?"
King of the Hill
"What do you want, Peggy?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, Cotton will not do that because Hank is too cruel."
King of the Hill
"No, Didi, Cotton is the cruel one. Hank is the one who sells propane."
King of the Hill
"But Hank is cruel. He said he loved Buck. He should say he loves Cotton."
King of the Hill
"And that's not just what I think, it's what Cotton told me to think."
King of the Hill
"Cotton is jealous?"
King of the Hill
"But that is a human emotion."
King of the Hill
"Now, I'm not sure if it's the guest or the man of the house that says grace..."
King of the Hill
"[Pounding on door]"
King of the Hill
"How could you trick me like that? You ain't bright."
King of the Hill
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