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Clips from NewsRadio - The Real Deal (S03E03)

It's 3:15, and that means it's time for...

"It's 3:15, and that means it's time for..."

NewsRadio

That is a good question,

"That is a good question,"

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and our producer, the lovely Lisa Miller,

"and our producer, the lovely Lisa Miller,"

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has lined up another great interviewee today.

"has lined up another great interviewee today."

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WOMEN: ♪ Hey, don't mention it ♪

"WOMEN: ♪ Hey, don't mention it ♪"

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I prefer to use cabs.

"I prefer to use cabs."

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In fact, I don't think I've stepped foot

"In fact, I don't think I've stepped foot"

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on a subway and a bus in over six years.

"on a subway and a bus in over six years."

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So, what's going on in those dingy subway cars

"So, what's going on in those dingy subway cars"

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WOMEN: ♪ The Real De-- ♪

"WOMEN: ♪ The Real De-- ♪"

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What we've been able--

"What we've been able--"

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You know what?

"You know what?"

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Back in 90 seconds with more of...

"Back in 90 seconds with more of..."

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Hey, where you goin'? We're not done yet.

"Hey, where you goin'? We're not done yet."

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BILL: Ooh, sounds like a hot one.

"BILL: Ooh, sounds like a hot one."

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What can I say? I thought it would work.

"What can I say? I thought it would work."

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and it hasn't come close to working.

"and it hasn't come close to working."

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Yeah, well, how are the numbers?

"Yeah, well, how are the numbers?"

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it seems that when Bill's show comes on,

"it seems that when Bill's show comes on,"

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rather than risk hearing another second.

"rather than risk hearing another second."

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Let's cancel it.

"Let's cancel it."

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I'm the one that approved it.

"I'm the one that approved it."

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All right.

"All right."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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Yeah, I know, I just-- I needed an excuse

"Yeah, I know, I just-- I needed an excuse"

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Irene, the girl that I'm seeing?

"Irene, the girl that I'm seeing?"

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so you'll have something to talk about at lunch?

"so you'll have something to talk about at lunch?"

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That one.

"That one."

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And did you? What?

"And did you? What?"

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Telling her you want to date other imaginary women?

"Telling her you want to date other imaginary women?"

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Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave... What do you say?

"Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave... What do you say?"

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No. I'm thinkin' that it might be time for us to...

"No. I'm thinkin' that it might be time for us to..."

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...go all the way.

"...go all the way."

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I know. Me.

"I know. Me."

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I'm very serious.

"I'm very serious."

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you were telling me last week about all--

"you were telling me last week about all--"

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Oh, no, no, no. I made-- I made those up.

"Oh, no, no, no. I made-- I made those up."

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Well, the important thing is that we just remember

"Well, the important thing is that we just remember"

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Beth, can you come in here?

"Beth, can you come in here?"

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What do you want?

"What do you want?"

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I'm a virgin.

"I'm a virgin."

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I do. But there's a limit to how hard I can hit

"I do. But there's a limit to how hard I can hit"

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when I'm talking to the archduke of crosstown buses,

"when I'm talking to the archduke of crosstown buses,"

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or whoever the hell he was.

"or whoever the hell he was."

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Huh? What? Huh?

"Huh? What? Huh?"

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Yeah, well, I'm a little concerned about the ratings.

"Yeah, well, I'm a little concerned about the ratings."

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And who wouldn't be?

"And who wouldn't be?"

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Thank you. And great host. You're too kind.

"Thank you. And great host. You're too kind."

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And believe me, we thought about giving up, but...

"And believe me, we thought about giving up, but..."

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because that is just not what we are all about.

"because that is just not what we are all about."

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All right, that's fine. Putting aside lousy ratings--

"All right, that's fine. Putting aside lousy ratings--"

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See? I told you he wasn't just about numbers.

"See? I told you he wasn't just about numbers."

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I thought the show was gonna be entertaining and interesting.

"I thought the show was gonna be entertaining and interesting."

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You see, first, we get your attention

"You see, first, we get your attention"

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with the boring stuff,

"with the boring stuff,"

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Bam!

"Bam!"

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Bill, Lisa, the show is--

"Bill, Lisa, the show is--"

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Cancelled. Fine.

"Cancelled. Fine."

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Whoa, what's so special about this afternoon's guest?

"Whoa, what's so special about this afternoon's guest?"

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who did you have in mind?

"who did you have in mind?"

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I shared a cab with Mike Dukakis once.

"I shared a cab with Mike Dukakis once."

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Hey, did Edward R. Murrow go through an agent

"Hey, did Edward R. Murrow go through an agent"

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whatever famous person he interviewed? Come on.

"whatever famous person he interviewed? Come on."

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And how does your girlfriend feel about your virginity?

"And how does your girlfriend feel about your virginity?"

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Oh, she doesn't know.

"Oh, she doesn't know."

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the act...

"the act..."

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Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it.

"Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it."

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Don't be. We've never met.

"Don't be. We've never met."

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You like this, don't you?

"You like this, don't you?"

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As a matter of fact, I haven't.

"As a matter of fact, I haven't."

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Hm...

"Hm..."

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Come to think of it, exactly like you.

"Come to think of it, exactly like you."

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Oh, I see, I thought it was Good Morning, Bum-Wad County.

"Oh, I see, I thought it was Good Morning, Bum-Wad County."

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But we're talking about...

"But we're talking about..."

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And you know how I love to gossip.

"And you know how I love to gossip."

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You're not a member of some kind of cult or something, are ya?

"You're not a member of some kind of cult or something, are ya?"

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No. Oh.

"No. Oh."

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You could probably start your own, huh?

"You could probably start your own, huh?"

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Okay, you remind me not to ask

"Okay, you remind me not to ask"

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for any Christmas presents, all right?

"for any Christmas presents, all right?"

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I've had some sex, I just haven't had...

"I've had some sex, I just haven't had..."

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final sex.

"final sex."

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"How close?"

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Well, that clears it up.

"Well, that clears it up."

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that I could get an autograph?

"that I could get an autograph?"

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of the one and only Real Deal With Bill McNeal.

"of the one and only Real Deal With Bill McNeal."

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♪ The Real Deal With Bill McNeal ♪

"♪ The Real Deal With Bill McNeal ♪"

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Um...

"Um..."

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Anything you ask. Just name it.

"Anything you ask. Just name it."

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Can I borrow your napkin?

"Can I borrow your napkin?"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Yeah. ...that's fine.

"Yeah. ...that's fine."

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Hi, honey.

"Hi, honey."

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Dave, this is, uh, Irene, my girlfriend.

"Dave, this is, uh, Irene, my girlfriend."

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I said, "Hi, guys."

"I said, "Hi, guys.""

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ALL: Hi, Irene.

"ALL: Hi, Irene."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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How do I know you guys aren't gonna chop it up later

"How do I know you guys aren't gonna chop it up later"

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Nobody cares what a comedian thinks about serious issues.

"Nobody cares what a comedian thinks about serious issues."

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what you think about say...

"what you think about say..."

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Medicaid re-allotment.

"Medicaid re-allotment."

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Okay, then another topic.

"Okay, then another topic."

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What about if...? If you picked a topic?

"What about if...? If you picked a topic?"

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The Federal deficit.

"The Federal deficit."

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It seems a little big.

"It seems a little big."

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That is my coffee.

"That is my coffee."

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That's good as new.

"That's good as new."

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Yeah. How's that?

"Yeah. How's that?"

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You get down on your hands and knees,

"You get down on your hands and knees,"

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You know, Matthew, Joe's right.

"You know, Matthew, Joe's right."

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and I don't even look like that.

"and I don't even look like that."

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Men have to get down on their hands and knees

"Men have to get down on their hands and knees"

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Boy looks a little tense, Dave.

"Boy looks a little tense, Dave."

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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Considering he hasn't had sex in 28 years,

"Considering he hasn't had sex in 28 years,"

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I think he's remarkably relaxed.

"I think he's remarkably relaxed."

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[CRASH]

"[CRASH]"

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Sorry.

"Sorry."

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Now, that's disgusting.

"Now, that's disgusting."

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I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

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