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Clips from John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)

"Donald Trump is America's back mole"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Did you ever see a guy sweat like this? It's Rubio"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"there's a part of me that even likes this guy"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"the NFL"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'm self funding my campaign"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"they feel invested in your campaign"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"as is the fact that those notes were probably written in gold sharpie"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'm really rich"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I went to an Ivy League school I'm very highly educated"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I know words I have the best words"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"there is a homeless person sitting on sitting right outside of trump tower"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"and I remember my father pointing to him and saying"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it's always quality"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump 2016, I don't know if it brings stability of viability but I imagine certain people feel that"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"don't know anything about David Duke okay"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"he's much more reflective of who he actually is"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"promising to make america great again"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"stop and take a moment to imagine how you would feel"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"and if you go to donaldjdrumpf.com"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"which will replace the word Trump with Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"make donald drumpf again hats"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"we've chosen not to make a profit a fact which will probably irritate Mr Drumpf more than anything else I said"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"well that's all great but I wish there was a new campaign and the but Donald Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"here it is right now, Donald Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I have no doubt that the plate will be signed in gold sharpie"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Donald Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I would like to extend my best wishes to all even the haters and losers on this special date september 11"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it's a part of me I hate, but it is a part of me"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"much like a lunch buffet at a strip club"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"or having a pet chimpanzee"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"sure show it seems fun but some day Cocos going to tear your fucking limbs off"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"If Jon Stewart you so above it all and legit then why did he change his name from Jonathan Liebowitz he should be proud of his heritage"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I never attacks dopey Jon Stewart for his phoney last name would never do that"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I look like a near sighted parrot who works at a bank"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump views the truth like this lemur views the Supreme Court vacancy"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'm self funding my campaign, I tell the truth"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'm rich therefore I tell the truth"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"has the same internal logic is"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'm a vegan therefore I know karate"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"other than the little tiny ones where they send and you know women said that we had a woman seven dollars and fifty nine cents, what do you do"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"how could you send the money back you know"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it's nice it's a it's cute it's beautiful"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"SPY magazine called him a short fingered vulgarian"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"something that gives the passing appearance of wealth, but is actually just a cheap tool"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I'd like to take some money out of her fat ass pockets"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I actually think I have the best temperament"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"People love me, and you know what I've been very successful"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"everybody loves me"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"He will threaten to sue your fat ass pocket with his cocktail sausage fingers"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I remember once my father and I were walking down Fifth Avenue"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"know that guy has eight billion dollars more than I guess he was in such extreme debt at that point you know"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"feelings, even my own feelings, and that can change rapidly day to day"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"smog yet gassy"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I've just raised the stakes"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump steaks are the world's greatest steaks"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"and I mean that in every sense of the word"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"and the Sharper Image is the only store where you can buy them"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"We're going to have a great company it's Trump mortgage and trumpmortgage.com and it's going to be a terrific company"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I don't if it brings stability viability but I imagine certain people feel that"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"if you settle suits, you get sued more"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it's true, I don't settle anything, I don't settle"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I don't know anything about what you're even talking about"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it meant success"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"it's the sound produced when a mouthy servant is slapped across the face with a wad of thousand dollar bills trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"the name Trump was not always his family's"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Drumpf, yes"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"he should be proud of his heritage"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"so if you are thinking of voting for Donald Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"the charismatic guy"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"if you just met a guy name Donald Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"a litigious serial liar with a string of broken business ventures"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"and the support of a former klan leader who can not decide whether to support or condemn"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"would you think he would make a good president or is the spell now somewhat broken"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"hashtag #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"you can download a drumpfinator chrome extension"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Don't vote for him because he tells it like it is"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Don't vote for him because he's a builder, he's more of a shitty lifestyle brand"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"[ Drumpf cheers ]"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Mr. Drumpf, I await your lawsuits in the morning"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"our main story tonight and I cannot believe I'm saying this is Donald Trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"[ laughs ]"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I don't care about that in any way please fuck off I have a banana"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"she said I was bankrupt I never went bankrupt so probably I'll sue her because it would be fun"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"I've ever met him, I'm pretty sure I didn't meet him, and I just don't know anything about him."
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"is the sound of a Cork popping on a couple's champagneaversay"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"one biographer found a prescient ancestor had changed its from and this is true"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"Drumpf"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"good night"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
"trump"
John Oliver: Donald Trump (Drumpf)
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