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Clips from Master of None - Indians on TV (S01E01)

"Like, who are you supposed to meet with?"
Master of None
"Deepak Chopra? The Indian dude from No Doubt?"
Master of None
"Yeah, like, who's my guy?"
Master of None
"Steve Aoki? George Takei?"
Master of None
"He's busy with gay stuff."
Master of None
"Who's my girl?"
Master of None
"Like, Oprah?"
Master of None
"Or Beyoncé?"
Master of None
"Oh, shit, I got the heavy hitters. Never mind."
Master of None
"You know, "curry our favor" is pretty bad, though."
Master of None
"I feel like that would be pretty awesome"
Master of None
"on a Huffington Post headline."
Master of None
"I mean, I'd be intrigued."
Master of None
"I'd click the shit out of that."
Master of None
"Leak it, dude."
Master of None
"Private racism becoming public racism"
Master of None
"that gets fools fired is so bomb."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"I'll talk to my agent, see what we can do."
Master of None
"That's your big idea?"
Master of None
"You're just gonna leak the email?"
Master of None
"What are you, a dummy?"
Master of None
"You've got Danvers by the balls."
Master of None
"They've been calling my office all day"
Master of None
"trying to set up a meeting so that he can sit down"
Master of None
"and apologize."
Master of None
"Shannon, I don't want to go there"
Master of None
"and be the Indian Al Sharpton and get some phony apology."
Master of None
"I don't give a shit about the apology."
Master of None
"I mean, I don't care about your feelings."
Master of None
"If this meeting goes well, you get the job, and it's a hit?"
Master of None
"I mean, I could show you David Schwimmer's house"
Master of None
"if you need to see what's at stake here."
Master of None
"I bet it's huge."
Master of None
"He's made so much off Friends."
Master of None
"Well, can't we get him to cast me and Ravi?"
Master of None
"Ravi? Who the fuck is that?"
Master of None
"Is that the other Indian dude?"
Master of None
"I don't rep him. Therefore, I don't give a fuck about him."
Master of None
"You need to get your shit straight first."
Master of None
"Don't get pissed about one racist email"
Master of None
"and let it ruin your career long-term!"
Master of None
"You know how much racist stuff I've read about black people?"
Master of None
"Sexist stuff about women?"
Master of None
"If I forwarded all of those emails and got people fired,"
Master of None
"I'd be working here by my damn self."
Master of None
"Don't fuck this up!"
Master of None
"I'm trying to get this money, Dev."
Master of None
"I'm trying to get this money,"
Master of None
"I'm trying to get this Friends money, and you fucking it up."
Master of None
"I'm not trying to fuck up your Friends money."
Master of None
"You better not fuck up my Friends money."
Master of None
"Right over here."
Master of None
"Quite a view."
Master of None
"Yeah, it's a nice office, right?"
Master of None
"Much better than the spot I had when I interned at Nickelodeon."
Master of None
"I was just watching your audition again this morning."
Master of None
""Damn! That's where they put the baseball?""
Master of None
"You, sir, are a funny man."
Master of None
"Thanks. Appreciate it."
Master of None
"All right, let's not beat around the bush."
Master of None
"I am truly sorry for the email."
Master of None
"It was a really stupid joke I never should have made."
Master of None
"Look, I'm happy to meet with you,"
Master of None
"but let's not kid ourselves."
Master of None
"These apologies are always phony."
Master of None
"You wrote that email. You made your shitty joke."
Master of None
"The only thing that's changed is, I caught you,"
Master of None
"so we don't really need to do this."
Master of None
"This is tough. I mean, I don't know what to say."
Master of None
"I wish you could just..."
Master of None
"get to know me a little bit better."
Master of None
"I'm not who you think I am."
Master of None
"You like the Knicks?"
Master of None
"Whoa!"
Master of None
"You ever sat courtside before?"
Master of None
"No, I do Go-Gurt commercials."
Master of None
"I don't run a TV network."
Master of None
"When I was a kid, I used to love to go to Knicks games."
Master of None
"Never thought I'd be sitting courtside."
Master of None
"This is insane."
Master of None
"I can't even believe they let people sit this close."
Master of None
"I mean, what's to stop Jerry Ferrara from just tackling a player?"
Master of None
"-Hey, you hungry? -Yeah."
Master of None
"I got you. Hey, order of nachos here."
Master of None
"What the fuck? Did you see that?"
Master of None
"That kid just ate one of my nachos."
Master of None
"Are you serious?"
Master of None
"Yeah! He just ate one."
Master of None
"Ugh, this kid is the worst."
Master of None
"I would have given anything to do something this cool when I was little."
Master of None
"He's just sitting here on his phone. Now he's stealing nachos."
Master of None
"They got one of these kids at every game."
Master of None
"-Courtside brats. -You know what?"
Master of None
"-I'm gonna say something. -Yeah, go get him."
Master of None
"Hey."
Master of None
"You take one of my nachos?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"Those are my nachos."
Master of None
"So? I wanted one."
Master of None
"Yeah, but you can't just steal people's nachos, okay?"
Master of None
"You realize how lucky you are? You're 12 years old."
Master of None
"You're sitting courtside at a Knicks game."
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"You didn't earn this."
Master of None
"I had to suffer through a minor racial trauma to get here."
Master of None
"All right, Sam."
Master of None
"Looks like your dad's not gonna make it to the game after all,"
Master of None
"but he says happy birthday, and he'll see you at home."
Master of None
"Hey, buddy."
Master of None
"He said I can take you to the toy store afterwards"
Master of None
"and buy you anything under $2,000."
Master of None
"No, that's all right. Let's just go home."
Master of None
"Hey, hey. Do you want the rest of the nachos?"
Master of None
"I'm sorry. Happy birthday."
Master of None
"Oh, wait."
Master of None
"Just one."
Master of None
"I mean, come on."
Master of None
"There's no way I could have known that was his situation."
Master of None
"You know what?"
Master of None
"Let's go check out the VIP suite."
Master of None
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