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Clips from The Goldbergs - Crazy Calls (S04E04)

"but we would appreciate it"
The Goldbergs
"if you would leave your name, telephone number, business,"
The Goldbergs
"the person you're calling for, and the time you called"
The Goldbergs
"after you hear the beep."
The Goldbergs
"And we will be sure to get back to you at our..."
The Goldbergs
"Come on. Everyone knows how to do it."
The Goldbergs
"I can't take it. It's so long and explain-y."
The Goldbergs
"Shut up!"
The Goldbergs
"Earliest convenience."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah. I'm good with that."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As my dad got the win,"
The Goldbergs
"I was still a lone loser without a table."
The Goldbergs
"My only choice was to accept my fate of eating alone under the bleachers."
The Goldbergs
"That is, until I stumbled upon my salvation."
The Goldbergs
"Holy motherboard."
The Goldbergs
"The high-school computer lab."
The Goldbergs
"It had six state-of-the-art Apple Ils,"
The Goldbergs
"each with double floppy drives and a dot-matrix printer"
The Goldbergs
"that could ink a whopping six lines per minute"
The Goldbergs
"on that weird paper where you rip off the sides."
The Goldbergs
"- We're allowed to be in here. - Okay."
The Goldbergs
"Mr. Glascott says we can stay the whole lunch period"
The Goldbergs
"as long as we don't make crumbs,"
The Goldbergs
"which is why I bring a thermos of soup every day."
The Goldbergs
"Cool."
The Goldbergs
"Whoa. Is that Prince of Persia?"
The Goldbergs
"We've got it all... Castle Wolfenstein, Lode Runner,"
The Goldbergs
"Choplifter, and Ultima, parts I, II, III, and IV."
The Goldbergs
"You have part IV? That's the ultimate "Ultima"!"
The Goldbergs
"- You know your stuff. - I'm Adam, by the way."
The Goldbergs
"I'm Mike Levy. This is also Mike Levy."
The Goldbergs
"You guys have the same name?"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, but Mike Z. Is painfully shy, so it's not much of an issue."
The Goldbergs
"I feel your pain. There's a senior also named Adam Goldberg."
The Goldbergs
"- He's not happy to have me around. - (CHUCKLES) Right on."
The Goldbergs
"I'm actually pretty good at Oregon Trail."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Even though I immediately died of dysentery,"
The Goldbergs
"my mom was thrilled I found a party to hitch my wagon to."
The Goldbergs
"Meanwhile, Erica and Barry were blazing their own trail."
The Goldbergs
"ERICA: Guess what we have."
The Goldbergs
"The answers to all our answering-machine problems..."
The Goldbergs
"BOTH: Crazy Calls."
The Goldbergs
"I don't know what it is, but it sounds wild."
The Goldbergs
"It's a tape of professionally recorded outgoing messages"
The Goldbergs
"that represent many musical styles."
The Goldbergs
"And it's advertised on TV, so you know it's good."
The Goldbergs
"Prepare yourselves."
The Goldbergs
"MAN: (SINGING ON STEREO) I'm glad you called, but I'm not home"
The Goldbergs
"But I'll be back before too long"
The Goldbergs
"BOTH: Wait for the beep"
The Goldbergs
"You gotta leave your name You gotta leave your number"
The Goldbergs
"Wait for the beep"
The Goldbergs
"- (BEEPING) - AI, don't join into their nonsense."
The Goldbergs
"Listen, we have no answering-machine problems."
The Goldbergs
"My message stays."
The Goldbergs
"Please, just listen to reason."
The Goldbergs
"The message you recorded is so bad, our friends refuse to call."
The Goldbergs
"The light is blinking. I must be doing something right."
The Goldbergs
"POP POP: Hello. Is this Murray?"
The Goldbergs
"What? You got a robit taking your messages now?"
The Goldbergs
"Ooh, my highfalutin' son thinks he's better than everyone."
The Goldbergs
"I think it's Pop Pop."
The Goldbergs
"Well, you're not. You're a thief."
The Goldbergs
"Don't think I forgot about that $17 you stole from me."
The Goldbergs
"Still with the $17. I can't take this!"
The Goldbergs
"(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)"
The Goldbergs
"My electric bill was the same every month,"
The Goldbergs
"but all of a sudden, it's $17 more."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, well, you do the math, genius."
The Goldbergs
"- He's taking up the whole tape! - (TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)"
The Goldbergs
"I know you were upset about your wedding toast,"
The Goldbergs
"but I really thought you preferred the company of men."
The Goldbergs
"You were an ugly baby. There, I said it."
The Goldbergs
"MURRAY: That's it!"
The Goldbergs
"Well, at least he's talking to you. That's new."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, we will talk but good."
The Goldbergs
"Just he and I, man to man."
The Goldbergs
"(KNOCK ON DOOR)"
The Goldbergs
"Ah, you. What do you want?"
The Goldbergs
"My dad paid me $20 to set this up for you"
The Goldbergs
"so you won't miss his phone call."
The Goldbergs
"Ah, so he'll pony up 20 bucks for you, and still I'm out my $17."
The Goldbergs
"I don't know, man. Do you want the machine or not?"
The Goldbergs
"All right. I'll take the robit,"
The Goldbergs
"but only because I like free stuff."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As Erica did my dad's dirty work,"
The Goldbergs
"me and my new pals were having some good, clean fun."
The Goldbergs
"And that, my friend, is how you use Basic"
The Goldbergs
"to program a real-life booby."
The Goldbergs
"Whoa."
The Goldbergs
"So lifelike."
The Goldbergs
"Scram! Me and this lady are gonna study"
The Goldbergs
"for health class, with our faces."
The Goldbergs
"No way. We're allowed to be here at lunch."
The Goldbergs
"Mr. Glascott says."
The Goldbergs
"You're a ballsy little nerd, aren't you?"
The Goldbergs
"Tell you what, I'm gonna let it slide,"
The Goldbergs
"but only because there's a broom closet for us right down the hall."
The Goldbergs
"Later, nerd losers."
The Goldbergs
"Look at them with their nerd thermoses."
The Goldbergs
"Like they're nerd construction workers."
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
The Goldbergs
"Excuse me. What did you just say about those nerd losers?"
The Goldbergs
"Uh, that they should drink out of their nerd thermoses?"
The Goldbergs
"Glascott's office now!"
The Goldbergs
"BEVERLY: So, what kind of punishment are we talking about here?"
The Goldbergs
"Suspension, expulsion, solitary confinement?"
The Goldbergs
"Do we do that? 'Cause that's what I want."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah. You two can go back to class,"
The Goldbergs
"and try not to be so accurate with your nerd insults next time."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, and stay out of that broom closet."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, that's right. Old Glascott knows what's up."
The Goldbergs
"Why did you let them go? They called my schmoo a nerd."
The Goldbergs
"That's not on them. That's more on your schmoo for being one."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, only I get to call my schmoo a schmoo."
The Goldbergs
"The point is, Adam and his gang of computer dorks"
The Goldbergs
"don't even eat in the lunchroom."
The Goldbergs
"That means they're not even on the social ladder."
The Goldbergs
"You've got to do something about this."
The Goldbergs
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