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Clips from Grumpier Old Men

"...I should've took a dirt nap like 30 years ago!"
Grumpier Old Men
"But each year comes and goes and I'm still here."
Grumpier Old Men
"And they keep dying."
Grumpier Old Men
"You know?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Sometimes I wonder..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...if God forgot about me."
Grumpier Old Men
"It just goes to show you, huh?"
Grumpier Old Men
"What?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Goes to show you what?"
Grumpier Old Men
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Grumpier Old Men
"You said you drink beer, you eat bacon..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...and you smoke cigarettes, and outlive the experts."
Grumpier Old Men
"Yeah?"
Grumpier Old Men
"I thought there's a moral."
Grumpier Old Men
"No, there ain't no moral."
Grumpier Old Men
"I just like that story."
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"That's all."
Grumpier Old Men
"I like that story."
Grumpier Old Men
"Good afternoon."
Grumpier Old Men
"It's good to see you too."
Grumpier Old Men
"Aren't you beautiful today?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Are you thirsty?"
Grumpier Old Men
"There we go. Drink up!"
Grumpier Old Men
"Drink up."
Grumpier Old Men
"That's right."
Grumpier Old Men
"There we go, there we go. Drink up."
Grumpier Old Men
"Isn't it a glorious afternoon?"
Grumpier Old Men
"It's not bad."
Grumpier Old Men
"You okay? Feeling all right?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Splendid. Why?"
Grumpier Old Men
"I couldn't help noticing you were talking to flowers."
Grumpier Old Men
"Plants and flowers are living organisms and..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...they respond to voice and touch like any other creature would."
Grumpier Old Men
"You should try it yourself."
Grumpier Old Men
"I got a cactus in my bathroom, but we got nothing to say."
Grumpier Old Men
"I better get going."
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"See you."
Grumpier Old Men
"I'm cooking Cantonese tonight. Why don't you join us?"
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"Well, I already made other plans."
Grumpier Old Men
"Are you sure?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Thanks, anyway."
Grumpier Old Men
"Appreciate it."
Grumpier Old Men
"What happens when Bonnie and Clyde turn out to be Bonnie and Bonnie?"
Grumpier Old Men
""Lesbian Bandits" next on Geraldo."
Grumpier Old Men
"Lesbians. Yummy."
Grumpier Old Men
"Yeah, but I like those."
Grumpier Old Men
"Can I do this?"
Grumpier Old Men
"You've got to wait."
Grumpier Old Men
"Why don't we put everything in?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Yeah, throw it all in there."
Grumpier Old Men
"I need to borrow a screwdriver."
Grumpier Old Men
"Hi, Jacob. You been here long?"
Grumpier Old Men
"-No. -Phillips."
Grumpier Old Men
"Isn't it time you started dating again?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Who with?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Florence Gilbert, for example, thinks you're quite a catch."
Grumpier Old Men
"She looks like Ernest Borgnine."
Grumpier Old Men
"Is that so bad?"
Grumpier Old Men
"What about Jane Clark?"
Grumpier Old Men
""Jane of the Jungle.""
Grumpier Old Men
"Got more body hair than I do. She's a furbearing mammal, for Godsakes!"
Grumpier Old Men
"Doris Zabrinski?"
Grumpier Old Men
"I know she's a little heavy but she loves to fish."
Grumpier Old Men
"Doris Zabrinski..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...is dead."
Grumpier Old Men
"She is?"
Grumpier Old Men
"She choked to death on a stack of pancakes two weeks ago..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...at the Lions Club charity breakfast."
Grumpier Old Men
"I think it's how she would have wanted to go."
Grumpier Old Men
"Listen to me..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...you can't sit around waiting for another Ariel to come by."
Grumpier Old Men
"Thanks for the Phillips."
Grumpier Old Men
"Remember when you were a kid..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...your mother baked that rhubarb pie for my birthday?"
Grumpier Old Men
"She swelled up like a balloon."
Grumpier Old Men
"Broke out in hives."
Grumpier Old Men
"She didn't know she was allergic."
Grumpier Old Men
"She knew!"
Grumpier Old Men
"She baked it anyway because she knew it was my favorite."
Grumpier Old Men
"Why'd you think of that?"
Grumpier Old Men
"I don't know."
Grumpier Old Men
"I think about things like that all the time."
Grumpier Old Men
"You all right?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Get out and let me watch my program."
Grumpier Old Men
"Close the door when you go."
Grumpier Old Men
"I don't want mosquitoes in here."
Grumpier Old Men
"They're crazy about my macaroni and cheese dish."
Grumpier Old Men
"Hello?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Anybody here?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Hey, wait a second!"
Grumpier Old Men
"My name is Max Goldman."
Grumpier Old Men
"Would you relax!"
Grumpier Old Men
"Mama, what are you doing?"
Grumpier Old Men
"I'm going to whack him!"
Grumpier Old Men
"-Put it down! -He try to steal the vino rosso!"
Grumpier Old Men
"You think everyone's doing that!"
Grumpier Old Men
"-They are! -This is a small town."
Grumpier Old Men
"You can trust people here."
Grumpier Old Men
"Like Antonio?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Next time he touch vino..."
Grumpier Old Men
"...I whack his head like a melon!"
Grumpier Old Men
"Holy moly."
Grumpier Old Men
"I'm so sorry."
Grumpier Old Men
"My mother is a little bit too protective of the wine."
Grumpier Old Men
"So I noticed."
Grumpier Old Men
"She crushed the grapes herself in Palermo."
Grumpier Old Men
"It's a rare vintage with unique bouquet."
Grumpier Old Men
"Is that a nice way of saying that the wine smells like her feet?"
Grumpier Old Men
"No."
Grumpier Old Men
"My name's Max Goldman. I live in the area here."
Grumpier Old Men
"Maria Sofia Colletta Ragetti."
Grumpier Old Men
"That's quite a name."
Grumpier Old Men
"You're Spaghetti Ragetti's cousin!"
Grumpier Old Men
"Yeah. Why so surprised?"
Grumpier Old Men
"Holy moly."
Grumpier Old Men
"I thought.... I was expecting someone that looked like Rick."
Grumpier Old Men
"How's that?"
Grumpier Old Men
"You know, fat, hairy, homely."
Grumpier Old Men
"But you're not so fat."
Grumpier Old Men
"You're a smooth talker."
Grumpier Old Men
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