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Clips from The Monkees - I Was a Teenage Monster (S01E01)

"This place looks like it was condemned before it was built."
The Monkees
"It looks like a high rise garbage dump."
The Monkees
"What kind of place is this?"
The Monkees
"- Knock. - Okay."
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"Come in, come in. I've been expecting you."
The Monkees
"Ha ha ha. Hello. Huh."
The Monkees
"Hi, hi, there. Huh. Wow, that's, that's a..."
The Monkees
"Hello, we're, uh, we're the, we're The Monkees."
The Monkees
"Yes. So I surmised. I am Doctor Mendoza."
The Monkees
"Well, uh, Doctor Mendoza, heh heh, where are all the people?"
The Monkees
"We're supposed to play for a party, aren't we?"
The Monkees
"Oh, no. You were misinformed. No."
The Monkees
"Well, what-what are we doing here?"
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"I want you to teach. I would like you so much to teach."
The Monkees
"Teach who? You?"
The Monkees
"No, no, no. Not me. Uh, a youngster."
The Monkees
"Oh, please. We have such huge hopes for him."
The Monkees
"Well, if it's a youngster, that's-sure, it's okay with me."
The Monkees
"Good, good, good. I'm delighted."
The Monkees
"Oh, guh!"
The Monkees
"Ah!"
The Monkees
"Master, a moment?"
The Monkees
"Yes, yes, certainly. Excuse me, please."
The Monkees
"You don't suppose he's the pupil?"
The Monkees
"I don't know."
The Monkees
"Everything is in readiness, master."
The Monkees
"Good, good. We will create the greatest"
The Monkees
"rock and roll singer in the world. Heh heh heh."
The Monkees
"Here we come Walkin' down the street"
The Monkees
"We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet"
The Monkees
"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
The Monkees
"But we're too busy singing To put anybody down"
The Monkees
"We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play"
The Monkees
"We're the young generation And we've got something to say"
The Monkees
"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found"
The Monkees
"So you better get ready,"
The Monkees
"We may be comin' to your town"
The Monkees
"The Monkees brought to you by Kellogg's"
The Monkees
"? K-E double L, O double good, Kellogg's best to you ?"
The Monkees
"Um, um, Doctor Mendoza? I-I sort of assume"
The Monkees
"that you want us to teach your friend rock and roll."
The Monkees
"That's right. Rock and roll really appeals to the little monster."
The Monkees
"Oh, it's a child. Is he your son?"
The Monkees
"Well, yes, I guess you could say he is my own flesh and blood."
The Monkees
"Ha! Ho ho ho ho. Come, we must meet it... him."
The Monkees
"You know, there are overtones of this thing I don't like."
The Monkees
"Don't you get it? It's a joke, man. "Own flesh and blood". It's a joke."
The Monkees
"Oh, yeah. Ha ha."
The Monkees
"Yeah, well, uh, where is he?"
The Monkees
"Yeah, where is the little monster?"
The Monkees
"Here he is."
The Monkees
"Ah!"
The Monkees
"Ah!"
The Monkees
"The little monster is a little monster."
The Monkees
"His antenna picks up your voices."
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"- Listen, uh, buh, uh, we gotta split. - Rehearse! Rehearse!"
The Monkees
"We gotta rehearse. Yeah, bye."
The Monkees
"Wait! Haste makes waste."
The Monkees
"Look, doctor, um, uh, you can't really, uh, expect us to teach a monster to sing."
The Monkees
"He's not a monster; he's a machine."
The Monkees
"Well, we can't tutor a computer. A ha ha."
The Monkees
"Fellas, I find it hard to believe he's dangerous."
The Monkees
"I find it very hard to believe Peter."
The Monkees
"He wouldn't hurt a fly."
The Monkees
"Let's, uh, catch one and find out."
The Monkees
"I beg, I beg. No, science must be served."
The Monkees
"Doctor, I cannot risk the lives of myself and"
The Monkees
"my men for such a foolhardy experiment,"
The Monkees
"and for such a pittance of a sum as a hundred dollars."
The Monkees
"- I'll make it two hundred. - You're on."
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"Science must be served!"
The Monkees
"Good. My android already knows a little music. Sing!"
The Monkees
"Goorah!"
The Monkees
"Goorah! Goorah!"
The Monkees
"I taught him that myself. It's an old Transylvanian folk song."
The Monkees
"Hey, what do you suppose that means?"
The Monkees
"Jimmy crack corn and I don't care."
The Monkees
"Wait, don't do that!"
The Monkees
"Why not?"
The Monkees
"Well, uh, his, uh, pants'll fall down, yeah."
The Monkees
"Well, I think I leave you now to get acquainted."
The Monkees
"Oh, ha ha."
The Monkees
"Oh!"
The Monkees
"Monster, Monkees."
The Monkees
"Don't leave!"
The Monkees
"Hi there."
The Monkees
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-achoo!"
The Monkees
"Gesundheit."
The Monkees
"I have a feeling we shouldn't have taken this job."
The Monkees
"You said, you said that if I made dinner every"
The Monkees
"night and made my bed, I could have a pet."
The Monkees
"Alright, but the first day you don't feed it, back he goes."
The Monkees
"We better try and win his confidence."
The Monkees
"Yeah."
The Monkees
"Boy, fellas, it's really amazing to think that a monster was"
The Monkees
"created in this very laboratory-what's the matter?"
The Monkees
"You almost dropped his mother."
The Monkees
"First, first, we gotta get him a name."
The Monkees
"How about Frankie Frankenstein?"
The Monkees
"I can see it now in lights, all the way around the mausoleum."
The Monkees
"No, Frankenstein isn't a good name for a singer;"
The Monkees
"it doesn't even sound Italian."
The Monkees
"No, no, I'll tell you what's wrong with him."
The Monkees
"I'll tell you, man, it's his image."
The Monkees
"Don't do that."
The Monkees
"First, the Beatle haircut."
The Monkees
"Uh-huh. Dark glasses."
The Monkees
"Uh, some groovy clothes."
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"And a guitar."
The Monkees
"There. Now how does it look?"
The Monkees
"It looks like a long-haired, near-sighted monster with a guitar."
The Monkees
"Well, now the first thing you gotta do is to learn to move."
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"See, like you, right?"
The Monkees
"Yeah, yeah, that's it."
The Monkees
"More. More. Good, like..."
The Monkees
"No. it's gotta be really big, man, like, you know. Yeah, that's right."
The Monkees
"Well, everyone has his own style."
The Monkees
"Now, now, you see, in the art of drumming,"
The Monkees
"it's an art, and-and the trick is to be very gentle."
The Monkees
"You got it? Very gentle. Yeah? Good. Okay, ready now?"
The Monkees
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