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Clips from The Great North - Tusk in the Wind Adventure (S01E01)

"and I couldn't get any service on my cell phone."
The Great North
"Get in!"
The Great North
"Oh, man, this was dumb."
The Great North
"The only TV show I'm gonna be on now"
The Great North
"is Dumb Guys who Died Dumb."
The Great North
"Wolf, I'm here. What's the status on that log, buddy?"
The Great North
"Well, Dad, it's not good."
The Great North
"It seems like if I move at all,"
The Great North
"this log is gonna fall into the crevasse."
The Great North
"But if I don't move at all, this log"
The Great North
"is also gonna fall into the crevasse."
The Great North
"And Tusk, well, he's passed out in the Kia,"
The Great North
"which is good, because I think if he wakes up and moves at all,"
The Great North
"this log is gonna fall into the crevasse."
The Great North
"Okay, here's what we're gonna do:"
The Great North
"I'm attaching one end of this rope to the van."
The Great North
"I'm gonna toss you the other end. Tie it around yourself."
The Great North
"That way, even if the log falls into the crevasse--"
The Great North
"which seems inevitable, based on your calculations--"
The Great North
"-you won't go with it. -Hey, Dad?"
The Great North
"Don't talk, Wolf. Don't even move."
The Great North
"But I just want to say I'm sorry. You were right."
The Great North
"Tusk is a fraud and a thief and a user."
The Great North
"And, frankly, he's uncouth as hell."
The Great North
"Don't worry about any of that, son."
The Great North
"-Here comes the rope. -Yeah, I should have known he was using me."
The Great North
"I'm nobody special."
The Great North
"I just wanted to believe that he was as cool as he was on TV."
The Great North
"I mean, it was Tusk Johnson... Oh!"
The Great North
"-Oh, God! Oh, the log is moving! -Oh, God! Wolf!"
The Great North
"The log is moving! The log is moving!"
The Great North
"-Aah! -Please tell me the rope is over your body."
The Great North
"Almost. Also, all the blood's rushing to my butt"
The Great North
"and it feels crazy."
The Great North
"My point is I-I should have listened to you,"
The Great North
"but I was being a real Hollywood Hank,"
The Great North
"and now I'm up here stuck on a log,"
The Great North
"hanging upside down over a crevasse."
The Great North
"So, I'm sorry."
The Great North
"And I love you. And I... Aah!"
The Great North
"-Wolf! -Well, hell."
The Great North
"-Hey, Dad. -Hey, Wolf."
The Great North
"I think I hit my penis pretty bad."
The Great North
"But other than that, I'm okay."
The Great North
"You know, Dad, I don't want to be mean,"
The Great North
"but I don't think The Alaskan Adventures of Tusk Johnson"
The Great North
"is my favorite show anymore."
The Great North
"Wait, this guy had a TV show? I thought he was making that up."
The Great North
"About what you said up there about not being special:"
The Great North
"Wolf, you're one of the most special people I know."
The Great North
"You've got a kind heart and you think the best of everybody,"
The Great North
"even when they sometimes turn out to be absolute bull-scuit."
The Great North
"Thanks, Dad. You know what else I'm thinking?"
The Great North
"I don't think Dan stole the show from Tusk."
The Great North
"-I think, uh... -Oh, no, Dan's definitely dead."
The Great North
"Yeah, he's definitely dead."
The Great North
"BEEF: All right, Tobins,"
The Great North
"who's ready for another"
The Great North
"Tobin Family Film Friday?"
The Great North
"Oh, and what is this?"
The Great North
"(gasps) Dad? No way."
The Great North
"Dynasty season six?"
The Great North
"Six through nine."
The Great North
"Dad, I love you again."
The Great North
"FYI, babe, we're honeymooning in Denver."
The Great North
"Sweet! I hear it's a very bikeable city."
The Great North
"Perfect for lovers."
The Great North
"I don't think I'll be taken in by Dynasty"
The Great North
"the way the rest of you were, but..."
The Great North
"Oh, my word, who is that gentleman?"
The Great North
"And what a handsome bank."
The Great North
"♪ He lives in the woods and survives on the land ♪"
The Great North
"♪ He never met a beast that he couldn't tame ♪"
The Great North
"♪ He'll take down a bear, fight a wolf in his lair ♪"
The Great North
"♪ If you live in the wild then you know his name ♪"
The Great North
"♪ It's Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Living in the woods just because he can ♪"
The Great North
"♪ It's Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Did we mention that Tusk has a sidekick, Dan. ♪"
The Great North
"Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH"
The Great North
"♪ Look up there ♪"
The Great North
"♪ What do you see? ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Nature and stuff ♪"
The Great North
"-♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Oh, the Great North ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Catch some fish ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Wow ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Oh, the Great North ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪"
The Great North
"♪ From longest night to longest day ♪"
The Great North
"♪ In the Great North. ♪"
The Great North
"WOLF: Well, Dad, another day"
The Great North
"of taking down some hard-core halibut,"
The Great North
"the perps of the sea."
The Great North
"Son, I want to act like I know what you're talking about,"
The Great North
"but it's been a long day and I just don't have the strength."
The Great North
"Whenever it's just the two of us on the boat,"
The Great North
"I feel like we're a couple of TV detectives"
The Great North
"hitting the street, and the fish are the bad boys."
The Great North
"Like I'm Crockett and you're Tubbs."
The Great North
"Or I'm Rizzoli and you're..."
The Great North
"-Dad, watch out! -What the..."
The Great North
"Wow, definitely a Rizzoli move, Dad."
The Great North
"Wait, the name on that boat."
The Great North
"Dad, that's the Lucey Gucey."
The Great North
""The" Lucey Gucey?"
The Great North
"You know who that boat belongs to."
The Great North
"BOTH: Tusk Johnson!"
The Great North
"Okay, movie buffs, who's ready for"
The Great North
"another Tobin Family Film Friday?"
The Great North
"-Pizza's up. -Sweet. Popcorn?"
The Great North
"Buttery and more buttery."
The Great North
"Copy that. Dad and Wolf?"
The Great North
"-Inbound. -Perfect."
The Great North
"And imaginary drumroll as Tobin Family Film Friday starts"
The Great North
"in a-three, a-two..."
The Great North
"BOTH: Tusk Johnson's in town!"
The Great North
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