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Clips from South Park - Mystery of the Urinal Deuce (S10E10)

"Please! I'll stop. I'll take down the Web site. I'll sto-"
South Park
"Oh no! Oh no!"
South Park
"Too late."
South Park
"Jesus Christ!"
South Park
"He died like a pig. - Some pigs never learn."
South Park
"No... way."
South Park
"He was right. You did cause 9/11."
South Park
"Yes. Quite simple to pull off, really."
South Park
"All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers."
South Park
"Then on 9/11 we pretended like four planes were being hijacked."
South Park
"When really we just rerouted them to Pennsylvania."
South Park
"Then flew two military jets into the World Trade Center filled with more explosives"
South Park
"then shot down all the witnesses of Flight 93 with an F-15"
South Park
"after blowing up the Pentagon with a Cruise missile."
South Park
"It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly-executed ever, ever."
South Park
"Really? - Why?!"
South Park
"Oldest reason in the world. Money."
South Park
"The towers fell and the American sheeple all waved their flags."
South Park
"Finally we could invade Iraq and get the oil which made us all richer than before."
South Park
"Beauutiful money, hahahaha!"
South Park
"Really? - Is the whole government in on this?"
South Park
"We are all-knowing and all-powerful."
South Park
"Good-bye, boys."
South Park
"Dangit I missed again! - For Christ's sake, Cheney!"
South Park
"Kyle! Run!"
South Park
"Kill them!"
South Park
"Attention students."
South Park
"Apparently, Clyde could not have been the one who crapped in the urinal."
South Park
"Because Clyde had a colostomy at age 5. 'Kay?"
South Park
"Now, whoever did this unspeakable act is still at large."
South Park
"The boys' bathroom is closed until further notice"
South Park
"'cause one of you thought it would be a good idea..."
South Park
"to pull down your pants... m'kay"
South Park
"over your buttcheeks over the urinal..."
South Park
"and squeeze out a chocolate hot dog... m'kay?"
South Park
"Oh you think that's funny, huh?!"
South Park
"Let me assure you, there is nothing funny... about going up to a nice, clean."
South Park
"Unsuspectin' urinal, 'kay."
South Park
"Droppin' your pants then... turnin' around..."
South Park
"squattin' over that urinal, 'kay."
South Park
"Maybe... maybe pullin' your buttcheeks apart with your hands, m'kay."
South Park
"And then layin' out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see."
South Park
"Oh yeah, that's real funny!"
South Park
"I'm gonna catch this sonofabitch if it's the last thing I do! M'kay?!"
South Park
"All right, now we have to switch over to Interbus 65."
South Park
"We made it dude. We should be home in less than eighteen hours."
South Park
"Then we'll tell everyone what we saw. - It just... doesn't seem right."
South Park
"Yeah, our eyes are finally open, dude. It's like waking up for the first time."
South Park
"Yeah... but doesn't it seem like we got out of the White House pretty easily?"
South Park
"I mean, it seems like it would be pretty hard to escape from the White House"
South Park
"with everyone chasing you and we just kind of... ran out."
South Park
"Well dude, maybe we're just superbadass. Have you thought of that?"
South Park
"Hey!"
South Park
"Dude. You're alive?"
South Park
"Come back here!"
South Park
"Hey! - Ogh!"
South Park
"No. Please. Pleeease!"
South Park
"Dude! What the hell is going on?!"
South Park
"Don't kill me! I, I just do what they say!"
South Park
"What who said? - I have an family. Please don't kill me!"
South Park
"Dude, we aren't going to kill you."
South Park
"Oh God! - It isn't safe here, boys. Follow me!"
South Park
"Who the fuck are you?! - There's no time! come on!"
South Park
"Do you mind telling us what the hell is going on?"
South Park
"Who are you? - I'm a detective."
South Park
"And I'm afraid that you kids have been double-crossed."
South Park
"You f-figured this thing all out?"
South Park
"Not me. My mystery-solving sons. Come on in, boys."
South Park
"My boys were researching who went number two in the urinal at your school"
South Park
"when they discovered something odd, which gave them a clue."
South Park
"Gave us both a clue."
South Park
"That clue led them to a 9/11 conspiracy group party, where they got a lot more clues."
South Park
"I was getting a clue like every two minutes."
South Park
"I got such a raging clue that I almost shot clue goo all over Joe."
South Park
"Those clues pointed out that all the 9/11 conspiracy theories"
South Park
"could be disproven scientifically."
South Park
"And that's when Frank got his biggest clue."
South Park
"It was huuuge."
South Park
"That all the 9/11 conspiracy websites are run by the government."
South Park
"The 9/11 conspiracy..."
South Park
"is a government conspiracy."
South Park
"Aw Jesus..."
South Park
"Why would the government want people to believe they caused 9/11?"
South Park
"For a government to have power, they must appear to have complete control."
South Park
"What better way to make people fear"
South Park
"them than to convince them they are capable of the most elaborate plan on earth?"
South Park
"That's quite enough, Hardly!"
South Park
"Don't believe what he says, boys. We caused 9/11."
South Park
"It's all right here in these secret documents, but you'll never get them."
South Park
"I knew it! You didn't plan 9/11 and you really didn't shoot that guy!"
South Park
"Boys, you don't understand. People need to think we are all-powerful."
South Park
"That we control the world."
South Park
"If they know we weren't in charge of 9/11 then we appear to control nothing."
South Park
"Well why don't you just tell people the truth?!"
South Park
"We do that too. And most people believe the truth."
South Park
"But one fourth of the population is retarded."
South Park
"If they wanna believe we control everything with intricate plans, why not let them?"
South Park
"Just one thing, Mr. President: How the devil did you know we were all here?"
South Park
"How come you couldn't just go home, dude? That's all we had to do!"
South Park
"Stan! What the fuck?!"
South Park
"It was all planned out! - You knew this whole time?"
South Park
"Why?"
South Park
"Because it was me."
South Park
"I'm the one who took a dump in the urinal."
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"The stalls were full and I didn't wanna miss recess!"
South Park
"I didn't think it would turn into such a big deal!"
South Park
"So you blamed the government?!"
South Park
"And the government was more than willing to take the blame"
South Park
"so long as it made them look responsible for 9/11!"
South Park
"Oh man, now everyone's gonna know."
South Park
"Why did the stupid Hardly Boys have to be so good at solving mysteries?"
South Park
"So wait, wait: Stan took a dump in the urinal and he contacted the conspiracy Web site?"
South Park
"But the conspiracy site was run by the government?"
South Park
"Yuh."
South Park
"So then, who was responsible for 9/11?"
South Park
"Whattaya mean? A bunch of pissed-off Muslims."
South Park
"Yeah. What are you, retarded?"
South Park
"Well, it looks like this mystery is solved. It's time for the culprit to finally pay!"
South Park
"When you dook in the urinal, it's bad, m'kay!"
South Park
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