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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Work Family (S01E01)

"Yeah. Are they still in there making fun of me?"
Abbott Elementary
"It's only been a few seconds, so yeah, probably."
Abbott Elementary
"Look, you can't care about"
Abbott Elementary
"what other people think about your choices"
Abbott Elementary
"'cause at the end of the day you're the one"
Abbott Elementary
"who got to live with them."
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"My dad doesn't want me to be a teacher."
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"What?"
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"But teaching's the best job in the world."
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"Well, Lieutenant Colonel Martin Eddie"
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"doesn't see it that way."
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"But it shouldn't matter what he thinks, right?"
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"It should be about what makes me happy?"
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"Does teaching make you happy?"
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"It could."
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"Does Tariq make you happy?"
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"Hey! What y'all doing out here?"
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"It's raining harder than an Usher video!"
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"- Um... - We're just here to greet you."
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"- I'm Gregory. - Oh, what's up, Gregory?"
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"Are you the talent handler?"
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"Sure."
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"I need some bananas in the greenroom."
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"(vocalizing)"
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"- Hey, baby. - Hey. (clears throat)"
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"Everything okay? You seem off."
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"Uh, yeah. No. I'm just nervous for you."
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"Don't be nervous."
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"This is gonna be like when Lil Nas X performed at that school."
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"- Mm. - Except it's not a surprise"
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"and they don't know the words and I'm very straight."
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"But come on. Come on."
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"- Bring it in. - Yeah."
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"- Yeah. - Okay."
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"Lord, thank you for giving me this opportunity"
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"to blow the impressionable minds of these young children."
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"- Amen. - Amen."
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"- Okay. - All right. Come on."
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"Oh, yeah, get it, get it, get it, hey, let's go, go!"
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"- Okay. I love you, baby. - I love you, baby."
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"Let's get it! Yeah!"
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"Yeah, it's really hard breaking into the industry right now."
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"Nobody's in that anti-drug, anti-alcohol lane, you know?"
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"Don't nobody rap about stuff that's good for you."
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"You never heard a song called, like..."Broccoli.""
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"Except that one song called "Broccoli,""
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"but that's still about drugs, so -- Uh-oh."
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"Stage manager pulling me away, y'all."
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"Tour life. You feel me?"
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"Hey, you got them Tastykakes, my man?"
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"I'm a girl!"
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"Uh, okay, shawty. Where is my dessert?"
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"(chuckles)"
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"Make some noise, Abbott Elementary!"
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"- (cheers and applause) - Yeah!"
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"Let's get it going!"
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"Yo, yo, yo, drop that beat."
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"♪ Crack, weed, dope, meth, y'all don't want no smoke ♪"
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"♪ Oxy, Percs, Vic, bleep them pills, you don't wanna choke ♪"
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"♪ Stay in school and stack them M's, bleep you can get a boat ♪"
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"♪ I'm bleeping your girl on a Jet Ski, bleep, bleep, bleep ♪"
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"- She tryna float ♪ - This is the one?"
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"- TARIQ: Let's go. Okay. - You know what?"
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"- TARIQ: Yeah, unh ♪ - I kinda get it."
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"He got bars."
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"♪ Hey, kids, don't be hypnotic, the flow is iconic ♪"
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"♪ I touched that girl once, now she feeling aquatic ♪"
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"♪ Drugs are a no-no, we ready to go-go ♪"
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"♪ Don't sip lean, it'll make you a slow-poke ♪"
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"♪ Oh, my God, I'm feeling lucky ♪"
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"♪ Spending that bleep like it's funny ♪"
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"♪ Did you know shrooms hurt your tummy? ♪"
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"♪ Bleep that bleep, we getting money ♪"
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"Like fifties and hundreds ♪ Yeah!"
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"Come on! Get your little hands up!"
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"Yeah! Yeah, get your tiny hands up!"
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"Okay! All right. Okay."
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"Hey, Janine."
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"Bounce, bounce, yeah."
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"Hey, I-I would like to apologize"
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"for saying that we're just work friends."
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"We are totally friends. You know that, right?"
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"- I know. - If I were just your coworker,"
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"would I know you like to fall asleep"
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"to Last Man Standing every night?"
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"Hey, Tim Allen and that family"
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"have gotten me through some dark times."
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"Yeah. Last Man Standing is basically your Green Book."
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"But why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend this whole time?"
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"I don't know."
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"I...I think I thought"
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"if I kept you out of my relationship business,"
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"I wouldn't have to weigh in on yours."
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"(music continues)"
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"TARIQ: Yeah, Abbott Elementary, y'all don't hear me, man!"
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"Y'all don't hear me, Abbott Elementary! Hold on!"
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"I need y'all to pay close attention, Abbott Elementary."
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"What if this little stage manager shawty"
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"died from drugs right now?"
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"That'd be pretty messed up, wouldn't it?"
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"That was like an artistic interlude."
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"All right. Let's get back to the music! Yeah!"
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"♪ I'm a sober guy, I don't get high ♪"
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"♪ If you take drugs, then you might die ♪"
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"Let's go!"
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"Come on! Bounce, bounce, yeah!"
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"♪ If you smokin' trees, don't come next to me ♪"
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"'Cause I'm high off life ♪"
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"Don't take no LSD ♪"
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"Yeah! Bounce, bounce!"
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"Yeah! Bounce, bounce."
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"Come on! Yeah!"
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"Open up that mosh pit! Let me see you!"
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"Bounce, bounce!"
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"Let's go."
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"Oh, let's go."
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"Oh, okay, I see you, talent handler!"
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"Oh, he going crazy! Yeah!"
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"- He going crazy! - Oh!"
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