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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Work Family (S01E01)

"♪ Why you tryin' to gangbang, little boy? ♪"
Abbott Elementary
"You playground age ♪"
Abbott Elementary
"♪ Instead of tryin' to set-claim ♪"
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"You need to get on the swang ♪"
Abbott Elementary
"Yeah. Jake, how you like that, man?"
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"Tell me how dope that was."
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"Uh, incredibly dope?"
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"Ooh, you heard him!"
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"I carpool with Janine occasionally"
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"to reduce my carbon footprint,"
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"and Tariq is there sometimes when he needs to use the car,"
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"which is...all the time."
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"Yeah, yeah, no, I'm gonna have to run it back for you."
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"It takes a couple times to get the wordplay."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Yo, you spit, too?"
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"- Rap with me, Jake. - Oh, no."
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"That could potentially be very undope."
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"Baby, his name is Jacob. Jacob."
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"Yeah, some people forget the "ob.""
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"(chuckles)"
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"Is -- Is that what you're gonna be performing later today?"
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"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got way more, too."
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"The show is about to be lit, to be honest, man."
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"The after-party gonna be stupid."
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"Oh, no."
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"It is an anti-drug and gang-violence presentation"
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"for children."
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"So no after-party."
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"Tariq's gonna be performing some of his songs later today"
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"at Abbott for F.A.D.E., Friends Against Drug Exposure."
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"Yeah, he got the gig totally on his own."
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"I mean, I reached out to the organization,"
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"and Tariq said, "Sure.""
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"Oh, baby, I was thinking."
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"You've been working way too much lately."
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"We need to go travel somewhere."
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"We got that F.A.D.E. money now, girl."
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"(laughs)"
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"Oh, well, I've always wanted to go to Paris."
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"Ooh, ooh, Paris!"
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"Or, uh, uh, Coney Island."
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"- Oh. - We could go out there."
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"I could get my Joe Chestnut on,"
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"you know, chow down on some Nathan's."
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"You know, om nom nom nom nom."
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"Yes, yes, yes."
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"But also maybe focus on the performance today."
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"- You right. You right. - Yeah."
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"- We could do that, too. - GPS VOICE: Turn left."
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"Ooh. She gonna make a left turn ♪"
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"♪ I be preachin' from the lectern ♪"
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"♪ Lyrics so hot, it'll give you heartburn ♪"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"My lyrics don't stop, Jake. Pay attention."
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"You're on the ground floor of something incredible."
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"Yeah, it definitely feels like...the ground floor."
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"(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)"
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"♪"
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"You know, a lot of people are slow to warm to Tariq,"
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"but you guys get along so well."
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"Maybe you should come out and get pizza with us this weekend."
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"Oh, I can't. I'm busy on Saturday."
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"I didn't even say a date yet."
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"W-- Oh, I see what's happening."
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"You don't want to be the third wheel."
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"- No. - No. Don't worry."
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"I actually know a great guy I want to set you up with."
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"Uh, thanks, but I don't know how my boyfriend"
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"would feel about that."
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"Your what?"
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"My boyfriend."
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"You have a boyfriend?"
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"- What's his name? - Uh, Zach."
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"Zach?"
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"And how long have you two been dating?"
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"Like a year, plus another year."
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"Jacob, how did I not know any of this?"
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"You've never mentioned him."
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"Well, actually, I guess I just answered my own question."
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"I thought you knew. I mean, I could've swore I told you."
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"My friends say I won't shut up about him."
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"Your friends?"
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"I thought we were friends."
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"We are. Yeah, we're friends. We're just, you know..."
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""You know" what?"
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"W-Work friends."
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"We don't talk about real deep stuff."
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"You told me when you got a tapeworm in Zimbabwe."
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"Um, um, yeah, I was -- I was trying to be helpful,"
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"in case you ever go to Africa."
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"Look, work friends are still friends."
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"They're just, like, friends in one place."
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"Well, I thought we were friends in all places."
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"We are -- We are friends in other places, actually."
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"You know, just today we were -- we were friends together,"
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"you know, from my apartment to the school..."
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"- (school bell rings) - ...where -- where we work,"
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"as friends."
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"Um..."
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"I can't believe Jacob didn't tell me about Zach."
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"I mean, I have so many questions, okay?"
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"Is he tall? Is he a cat person or a dog person?"
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"Is Zach spelled with a "ck" or a "ch""
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"or, what I find to be the most exotic spelling, just a "c"?"
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"And... I don't know. Maybe he's right."
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"Maybe we are just work friends,"
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"because a "friend" friend would know."
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"Okay. Eyes up here. Farmer Hank has five turkeys."
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"Then he buys four more."
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"How many turkeys does Farmer Hank have?"
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"Are any turkeys pregnant?"
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"Guys, let's focus, okay? Uh, you know what?"
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"We're gonna do more math drills."
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"(students groan)"
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"Statewide assessments are coming up."
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"It's a necessary evil."
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"They say not to teach to the test,"
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"but if that were the case,"
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"they wouldn't give tests, would they?"
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"Six plus seven?"
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