Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Unicorn Store

"Sure."
Unicorn Store
"Why not wish we could fly? We can't, so we focus on what we can do."
Unicorn Store
"Which is what?"
Unicorn Store
"Creating the artwork for the new Mystic Vac Vacuum."
Unicorn Store
"Oh. What makes it mystical?"
Unicorn Store
"What, indeed."
Unicorn Store
"You know, I was in a class where we had to do fake ads for McDonalds and Ikea,"
Unicorn Store
"and I came with McSalsa and chips."
Unicorn Store
"See, that's already ten times more interesting"
Unicorn Store
"than anything I've heard today."
Unicorn Store
"There is zero creativity in this company and it is killing me."
Unicorn Store
"Can I see your portfolio?"
Unicorn Store
"What? No. Uh, it's from school."
Unicorn Store
"Bring it in."
Unicorn Store
"You don't want to be a temp forever, do you?"
Unicorn Store
"No, I guess I don't."
Unicorn Store
"Kit, what are you still doing here?"
Unicorn Store
"Do you know about a place called The Store?"
Unicorn Store
"Ooh, is it like a cool pop-up? Because I never go anywhere fun."
Unicorn Store
"-I don't know what it is. -Oh."
Unicorn Store
"Okay. Well, I should go because there's a new Dateline on tonight"
Unicorn Store
"about professional single women getting murdered,"
Unicorn Store
"and I should probably watch that."
Unicorn Store
"Yeah. Uh, I'm just gonna go get office supplies."
Unicorn Store
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."
Unicorn Store
"Oh, come on."
Unicorn Store
"♪ You take me all the way there ♪"
Unicorn Store
"♪ Flying us in on a wing and a prayer ♪"
Unicorn Store
"- Don't touch that. -Ah! Whoa!"
Unicorn Store
"Just kidding."
Unicorn Store
"Come in."
Unicorn Store
"Come in!"
Unicorn Store
"You want a diet Coke? You like those, right?"
Unicorn Store
"What is this place?"
Unicorn Store
"Who are you?"
Unicorn Store
"You have come to The Store, Kit."
Unicorn Store
"And I am The Salesman."
Unicorn Store
"What's The Store?"
Unicorn Store
"-How do you know my name? - You're here."
Unicorn Store
"-But I could be anybody. -No, you can't."
Unicorn Store
"We only invited you."
Unicorn Store
"How do you know where I work?"
Unicorn Store
"And also, are you gonna murder me?"
Unicorn Store
"Murder?"
Unicorn Store
"Kit!"
Unicorn Store
"This is a legitimate place of business."
Unicorn Store
"And the opposite of murder."
Unicorn Store
"What kind of business?"
Unicorn Store
"We sell what you want."
Unicorn Store
"What you need."
Unicorn Store
"Which is what?"
Unicorn Store
"Oh, you think you don't know, but you totally know. I know."
Unicorn Store
"-You do? -Isn't it obvious?"
Unicorn Store
"No."
Unicorn Store
"-Isn't it? -No, it's not. No."
Unicorn Store
"Think about it."
Unicorn Store
"Unicorns?"
Unicorn Store
"Unicorns."
Unicorn Store
"Behold!"
Unicorn Store
"Oh, Kit!"
Unicorn Store
"Don't you want to just jump into that screen"
Unicorn Store
"and hug the shit out of your very own precious pink unicorn?"
Unicorn Store
"Braid its hair?"
Unicorn Store
"Sing it songs?"
Unicorn Store
"Bake it cookies?"
Unicorn Store
"Yes."
Unicorn Store
"But unicorns aren't real."
Unicorn Store
"As a person who works in a unicorn store,"
Unicorn Store
"I take great offense in that."
Unicorn Store
"Just allow me to show you around,"
Unicorn Store
"and then you decide, okay?"
Unicorn Store
"This is our Recreation Area,"
Unicorn Store
"with pillows and ottomans,"
Unicorn Store
"sugar cubes,"
Unicorn Store
"and wi-fi."
Unicorn Store
"This is where we bring them when they first arrive."
Unicorn Store
"Do they ride up the elevator?"
Unicorn Store
"When the unicorns arrive, they can be a little dingy from the various forests,"
Unicorn Store
"you know, covered in leaves, and berries, and shit,"
Unicorn Store
"so we wash them off,"
Unicorn Store
"brush their hair, and shiny them up a bit."
Unicorn Store
"-Where are the unicorns now? -Oh..."
Unicorn Store
"They don't arrive here until you're ready."
Unicorn Store
"And here..."
Unicorn Store
"we have our fine dining establishment,"
Unicorn Store
"or Hay-staurant, as we like to call it."
Unicorn Store
"It doesn't smell like hay."
Unicorn Store
"I know."
Unicorn Store
"The unicorns, they don't like that."
Unicorn Store
"-And this is the ice cream parlor."
Unicorn Store
"Unicorns eat ice cream?"
Unicorn Store
"Of course not, Kit, but I do."
Unicorn Store
"Look, Kit."
Unicorn Store
"I think you're smart enough to see what's happening here."
Unicorn Store
"See the truth. Ah."
Unicorn Store
"Behold!"
Unicorn Store
"The magic hair..."
Unicorn Store
"of a unicorn long gone."
Unicorn Store
"Feel it."
Unicorn Store
"It feels electric."
Unicorn Store
"-It feels like-- -Happiness."
Unicorn Store
"A unicorn will love you forever, Kit."
Unicorn Store
"Forever."
Unicorn Store
"Forever."
Unicorn Store
"I don't like this."
Unicorn Store
"This isn't real, and I'm-- I'm a business lady now."
Unicorn Store
"-Where are you going? -I'm gonna buy graph paper!"
Unicorn Store
"Graph paper can't love you back."
Unicorn Store
"We sell what you want. What you need."
Unicorn Store
"Can I help you?"
Unicorn Store
"Maybe."
Unicorn Store
"Let me ask you this."
Unicorn Store
"It's not about office supplies."
Unicorn Store
"I have a girlfriend."
Unicorn Store
"What? No, that's not what I was gonna ask. Um..."
Unicorn Store
"I just saw something that I don't believe to be true."
Unicorn Store
"But now it seems like it could be true,"
Unicorn Store
"and it would be..."
Unicorn Store
"really good if it was."
Unicorn Store
"Like Jesus?"
Unicorn Store
Show more clips