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Clips from The Bob Newhart Show - Fly the Unfriendly Skies (S01E01)

"Uh, Mrs. Hill. we've been over this before."
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"As you said yourself, uh, you overeat because, uh..."
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"having a beautiful body, you feel, threatens you."
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"A-A-And for some reason, having a fat body doesn't threaten you."
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"Well, I'm-- I'm happy to hearyou've been-- you've been able to control it."
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"Mrs. Hill?Yeah, I-- I-- I can't understand you..."
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"w-with your mouth full."
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"Add the whites of four eggs, one cup of bread crumbs--"
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"I don't know, Margaret. Bob hates chicken."
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"And so far it doesn't sound like there's anything in this recipe..."
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"that's gonna make him hate this chicken any less."
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"Add one cup of bourbon."
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"Margaret, are you sure you tried this recipe?"
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"Sure. It's great."
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"The only problem is you can't drive for at least two hours afteryou eat."
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"Hi, honey."
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"- Hi, dear. - Hi."
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"[Clears Throat] Hello, Margaret."
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"I'm starved. What are we having for dinner?"
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"- Chicken. - Oh."
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"Would you take your hands out of the chicken? I-- I want to tell you something."
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"I can listen with my hands in chicken."
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"This is the kind of news you don't want to have your hands..."
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"in chicken when you hear it."
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"You know that workshop I'm giving for-- for people that are terrified of flying?"
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"- Uh-huh. - Well, they're-- they're finally gonna have to face their fears..."
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"and we're going up in an airplane together."
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"Oh, that's wonderful."
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"Now-- Now can I get back to the, uh--"
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"I haven't gotten to the wonderful part yet."
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"What do you think of New York?"
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"Oh, it's one of your bigger cities."
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"No, we figured as long as we're up in the air, we-- we may as well go somewhere."
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"So, I got an extra ticket for you to go to New York with me."
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"Hey, that's wonderful!"
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"- Yeah, we can-- we can take in some shows. - And I know a great restaurant..."
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"where they have the best lobster in the world."
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"- Now, what's it called? - E-Emily and I can go shopping on 5th Avenue."
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"I love shopping on 5th Avenue."
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"Listen, I'll go see if I can find the name of that restaurant."
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"Great. Uh-- Oh, I think the New York Philharmonids in town."
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"- Yeah, it is! It is! - Oh, we're gonna have such a--"
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"Why, uh-- Why is Margaret having such a great time in New York and you're not?"
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"Bob, there's something I never told you."
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"You know those people you're going to New York with who are afraid to fly?"
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"Yeah."
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"I'm one of them."
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"- You're afraid of flying? - That's what I said."
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"Well, honey, thafsjust... stupid."
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"Do you tell those people in your workshop..."
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"who are terrified of flying that they/re stupid?"
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"Well, of course not, honey. But I don't love them."
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"I mean, I love you. And when you love somebody..."
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"I-it's all right to tell them that they're being stupid."
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"W-What exactly are you afraid of?"
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"The part where you're off the ground."
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"Re-Remember when I asked you where you wanted to go on our honeymoon..."
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"Hawaii or Acapulco?"
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"Did flying have anything to do with the fact you chose Gary, Indiana?"
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"Hello, Bob, Emily. Can you spare a drink?"
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"Howard, perfect timing, I was just talking to Emily about flying."
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"Oh, please. Let's not talk about flying."
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"I just got back from Los Angeles. It was the hairiest flight I ever had."
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"First time the pilot ever got sick."
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"[Sighs]"
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"Emily, so-- so he had one rotten flight. I mean, how often does that happen?"
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"Happens every time we go over those darn mountains."
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"Uh, what's happening to that drink anyway?"
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"Howard, I'm trying to convince Emily that flying is safe."
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"Emily doesn't think flying's safe?"
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"Emily, Emily, Emily-- You think I'd spend my life flying ifit wasn't safe?"
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"And when I first started flying, I realized that's where I wanted to be."
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"That-- That freedom. That serenity. The sense of peace."
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"When did you start flying, Howard?"
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"During the war."
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"- Emily, what happened to all the bourbon? - Oh, I put it in the chicken."
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"Would you like a glass of chicken, Howard?"
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"Maybe later, Bob."
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"- Uh, did I get any mail while I was gone? - I'll get it. It's in the den."
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"- Howard, look. You want to be some help to me? - Yeah."
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"Don't talk about flying. I'm trying to talk Emily into flying into New York with me."
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"- Right. Gotcha. - Okay?"
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"You know, l-l've been thinking."
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"I have to admit. I was a little edgy about flying."
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"But now I feel better about everything."
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"I knew it. 'Cause I-itjust-- It didn't sound like you, you know?"
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"Yeah, I-- I just felt a million times better the moment I realized..."
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"there is no way you're gonna get me on that plane."
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"- Morning, Carol. - Mmm."
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"Any mail?"
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"- Any phone call or messages? - Mm-hmm."
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"W-W-What are you doing?"
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"Oh, I'm just finishing up your astrology chart."
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"I can tell you anything you want to know about yourself."
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"L-I don't believe in astrology."
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"Of course you don't. My chart says you're very skeptical."
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"Anything else you want to know?"
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"Anywhere on that chart it can tell me whether I have any phone calls or messages?"
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"Always inquisitive. I'm right again."
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"All right. Now, the airline called--"
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"22 reservations to New York."
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"- You're all confirmed. - Great."
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"Emily canceled out. I got to unconfirm the confirmation."
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"Get me the airline on the phone, would you?"
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"Oh, sure. Oh, listen, Bob--"
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"Now, when you talk to the airline..."
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"don't mention to them that you're a psychology group."
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"Because in order to get you the commercial discount..."
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"I had to tell them you were something else."
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"- What? - A marching band."
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"[Intercom Buzzing"
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"- Yeah? -[Carol ] Airline on two."
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"Thank you."
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"Hello. Yeah, hi. This is-- This is Bob Hartley."
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"Yeah. I'm holding confirmed reservations on your New York Flight 21"
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"for 22 on the 29th."
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"Yeah, I'd like to change that to 21."
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"I realize it's Flight 21. l-l'm changing the 22 people to 21."
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"Twenty-one on Flight 21 on the 29th."
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"Now, originally we were gonna have 2O take the return flight to Chicago..."
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