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Clips from Veep - Fishing (S03E03)

"Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you're a fuckin' idiot."
Veep
"So I think we both agree that the strongest candidate should run."
Veep
"Absolutely."
Veep
"And we both agree that the role of vice president"
Veep
"can be a very significant one."
Veep
"You've certainly made a compelling argument."
Veep
"- You'd consider that? - Absolutely."
Veep
"- You'd be my vice president. - We'd love for you to be my vice president."
Veep
"Huh? What did you just say?"
Veep
"It makes sense for me... you're already vetted."
Veep
"Are you kidding me?"
Veep
"Plus you would be the first vice president"
Veep
"to serve under two successive presidents."
Veep
"I'd rather be shot in the fucking face"
Veep
"than serve as vice president again."
Veep
"Seriously, in the fucking face!"
Veep
"- Hey, how'd it go? - Uh-uh."
Veep
"Oh, God."
Veep
"How'd it go?"
Veep
"All right, guys, listen. Maddox is running, okay?"
Veep
"So I need you to access the strategy file in Dropbox."
Veep
"Password... mother_fucker."
Veep
"So our next move is to stop Chung from running."
Veep
"No."
Veep
"Two ex-military candidates are gonna squeeze you out, Ma'am."
Veep
"The subtext of every question will be,"
Veep
"Yeah, you're pretty, but can you break a man's neck?"
Veep
"Let me explain something to you."
Veep
"You had me go marching off to the country"
Veep
"to try and keep Maddox from running,"
Veep
"and then today, he announced he's running, right?"
Veep
"Oh. What's in your lunchbox, Mike?"
Veep
"A protein shake? You degenerate."
Veep
"You know about this? The private thing I wanted kept private?"
Veep
"You know, Mike, it would please me greatly"
Veep
"if you would do me the honor"
Veep
"of removing your jizzbox"
Veep
"from our executive branch of government."
Veep
"- It's actually a cooler. - Oh, then, by all means."
Veep
"Open it up, let's have a picnic. I'll boil up my eggs."
Veep
"So, listen. I'm gonna get rid of the team... the whole bunch."
Veep
"Desperate Dan, flailing Amy, crippled Gary, jizzy Mike."
Veep
"Jizzy Mike?"
Veep
"Yeah. He jerks off all the time in the office."
Veep
"- Really? He does that? - Yeah, he really does. You have no idea."
Veep
"Anyway, I'm going to get rid of 'em."
Veep
"I'm gonna shoot Mike and Gary in the head,"
Veep
"I'll poison Amy, I'll behead Dan."
Veep
"- Ma'am. - Oh, shit. What are you doing here?"
Veep
"Er, look... I'm so sorry to interrupt,"
Veep
"but I have some inside Maddox polling data..."
Veep
"- How did you find me? - I put a lot of pressure on Sue."
Veep
"So, she's gonna have to go too."
Veep
"Wait. What do you mean, too?"
Veep
"Yeah, uh, Dan, listen..."
Veep
"Bill is going to be our new campaign manager..."
Veep
"I'm flattered, but the answer's no."
Veep
"I'm sorry. What?"
Veep
"I hate to say I got a better offer, but I got a better offer."
Veep
"Is it Danny Chung? That desperate dick"
Veep
"covered in medals that he got on eBay, by the way?"
Veep
"- Not Chung. It's Thornhill. - What?"
Veep
"Baseball Joe? The man's a vegetable. Seriously."
Veep
"- So he can catch a ball. - He can win."
Veep
"He did it on the field when nobody thought he had a chance."
Veep
"People love his story, they love his attitude."
Veep
"I don't love your attitude. So why don't you go and..."
Veep
"- With all due respect... - You know what? You stop interrupting me,"
Veep
"you stupid fucking interrupty guy."
Veep
"- I'm sorry. - I am un-offering you the job."
Veep
"You will never be my campaign manager, ever!"
Veep
"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
Veep
"You bet it was."
Veep
"It was a huge pleasure to meet me."
Veep
"You know we're going to rip you apart."
Veep
"Oh, so scary!"
Veep
"Dan..."
Veep
"do you want to be my campaign manager?"
Veep
"- Yes. - Yeah."
Veep
"- Yes, I do. - Okay."
Veep
"Yeah! Whew."
Veep
"Ma'am, you... I am not going to let you down. You will not regret this."
Veep
"- Okay. - Yeah."
Veep
"- Okay. - Yeah! Mm!"
Veep
"- This is amazing. - Yeah."
Veep
"I feel all floaty. What's this one called?"
Veep
"- It's a boilermaker. - A boilermaker!"
Veep
"- You never had one? - Mm-mm. I'm a Prosecco man."
Veep
"I wouldn't spread that around, Gary."
Veep
"Did you know I got a condition?"
Veep
"- What, you can't hold your alcohol? - No, it's my shoulder."
Veep
"- I'm in a lot of pain. - Join the club, pal."
Veep
"No, but I carry around"
Veep
"Selina's big, heavy bag of her tampon bullshit."
Veep
"- I'm serious. - Mike."
Veep
"- The doctor told me to get another job. - No."
Veep
"- You need to get another doctor. - Thank you."
Veep
"Yeah. Did he give you a cortisone shot?"
Veep
"- No! No! - See?"
Veep
"Mr. Bartender!"
Veep
"A cortisone shot!"
Veep
"Tequila."
Veep
"Tequila-aa... oh...!"
Veep
"Mike, is the bar the appropriate place"
Veep
"for the contents of that bag?"
Veep
"Relax, Amy. It's a spoiled batch."
Veep
"I missed my window today at the clinic and Wendy is not happy."
Veep
"- Hey, Mr. Kent! - Hey, kids. Everybody well oiled?"
Veep
"I called you all to my office"
Veep
"because there may be some changes."
Veep
"She got a campaign manager, didn't she?"
Veep
"Please tell me that it's not Dan."
Veep
"- It's not Dan. - Thank you, God!"
Veep
"- Fuck you, Dan, you minor-league gigolo! - Gigolo!"
Veep
"- Just out of curiosity... - Yeah?"
Veep
"What was Ericsson's pitch?"
Veep
"He said that you'd be better off as a croupier"
Veep
"fucking older women."
Veep
"That doesn't bother me."
Veep
"I like older women."
Veep
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