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Clips from Veep - Fishing (S03E03)

"and I caught him coming out of the bathroom stall with a bag."
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"Ugh!"
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"Oh, my God! Give me my phone."
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"- Why? - 'Cause I've got to be in touch with Ben."
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"I can't have Mike getting what's-her-ass"
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"all knocked up and pregnant,"
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"becoming some sort of a dad during my campaign."
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"What is keeping Mike? Mike?"
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"I'm here. Sorry. Sorry."
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"- Join the party, Mike. - This food looks amazing."
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"It should be. It cost enough."
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"Hey, Mike, this salad doesn't have any dressing."
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"Did you bring any extra dressing?"
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"What are you talking about, Ben?"
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"I hear the next course is gonna be pulled pork..."
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"pork that has been pulled."
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"So everybody knows that I was in there"
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"masturbating into a cup now?"
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"- No, I was the only one who knew, Mike. - We all know now."
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"I really hope that's IVF or something, Mike,"
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"- because otherwise... - It is. It is."
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"Wendy and I are trying to conceive a child."
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"Good luck with that. That can be a tough road."
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"- I know. - I have a sister who was..."
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"well, she didn't have the..."
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"it kind of all went wrong within the tubing..."
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"- Stop talking. - Copy that."
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"- Talk about something else. - Before we eat,"
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"may I just say how much I value all of you."
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"Thank you for your skills and for your friendship."
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"- Hear, hear. - To skills."
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"And friendship."
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"Um, what if we don't have anything to talk about but work?"
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"Oop... work."
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"We have plenty of other stuff to say."
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"Amy, did I hear you talking about Maddox hiring Jonah,"
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"- or was that a horrible nightmare I had? - Mm-hmm."
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"Why would Maddox hire someone like that?"
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"- Because of his uncle. - Why? Who's his uncle?"
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"- Jeff Kane. - Jeff Kane, the New Hampshire guy?"
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"- Yeah. - The Jeff Kane"
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"who controls the senior citizen vote in New Hampshire?"
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"How do you think he got the job in the White House?"
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"She's at Maddox's right now. I have to call her."
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"Maddox's camp will give you nothing."
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"- Maddox has access to... - Yeah, I know that."
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"I know that, and that's why I'm gonna call."
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"You know what's gonna help, everybody? If you just go."
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"I don't mean to be rude, but dinner has got to be over."
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"Please, all, do support Amy as Selina's campaign manager."
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"Please do. Yay me. Yay me."
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"- Anybody wanna get a burger? - Yeah."
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"- Don't forget your bag, Mike. - Thanks, Kent."
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"It seems more appropriate now that it's just the two of us."
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"- No. You have to go too. - Amy, it's our anniversary."
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"Oh, please do not tell me"
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"you are one of those fucking weirdos"
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"that celebrates three month-a-versaries."
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"- It's actually a year. - A year in which..."
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"you neglected to tell me about Jeff Kane. Go."
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"I guess I'll go tell the violinist he has the night off."
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"Okay."
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"I'll have him play me a bunch of Smiths covers in my car."
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"- Ma'am... you gotta go. - Hey, what's up?"
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"Jeff Kane."
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"The New Hampshire guy. Yeah. What about him?"
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"- He's Jonah's uncle. - Shit."
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"- What? - Jeff Kane is Jonah's uncle?"
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"Oh, no!"
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"Tell Dan he needs to find Jonah now and poach him."
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"Okay. We're all over this."
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"That's obvious how he got the job with Maddox."
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"No one would be so stupid to hire him otherwise."
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"Exactly."
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"So, we're all set?"
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"- Yeah. - Oh, sir, where is Jonah?"
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"- Who? - The tall fellow."
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"The bag of bones guy? He's in your entourage."
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"Haven't we got more important things to talk about?"
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"We do, George. We certainly do."
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"- Right this way. - Thank you so much. Thank you."
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"Hey, buddy. How's it going?"
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"Why the fuck do you care?"
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"- Why shouldn't I care? - Because you hate me."
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"All right, look, there's a fine line, Jonah,"
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"between hate and non-hate."
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"You attacked me with a burrito."
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"And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would."
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"- Oh, what, so you could do it again? - No."
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"The juice could have gotten in my eyes, Dan."
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"The spicy burrito juice."
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"I think you and I have a lot in common, actually."
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"- We do? - Yeah. We say it like it is."
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"So if I did want to run,"
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"why would I just step aside for you?"
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"See, that's what I'm talking about."
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"- Why wouldn't you? - No... why would I?"
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"Well, I believe that I've earned this, George."
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"I also believe that the position of vice president"
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"can be a very rewarding one."
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"Even though it has no power?"
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"It has some constitutional power,"
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"and, by the way, I think that I can pull some pretty big levers."
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"You exercise this power very discreetly, I must say."
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"Maddox? Come on, man."
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"That guy's got ulterior motives, you know it."
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"What do you mean ulterior motives?"
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"I just think he's keeping you around..."
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"- Because? - Because of your uncle, Jeff Kane."
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"- Fuck you, Dan. - I just offered you a job."
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"People like me, people hire me, people date me,"
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"and people fuck me because I'm triple-A fuckin' awesome"
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"- and no other reason. - Sure?"
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"So why don't you scooch your little butt out of my fuckin' pantry?"
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"You know what? The only reason you have a fuckin' job"
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"is because your uncle is Donald Chump."
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"Wake up and smell the fuckin' burrito juice."
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"You know what? Selina's gonna lose"
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"and President Maddox is gonna have you both executed!"
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"That's not even the way it works, you fuckin' idiot."
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